CalhounSq said:

yes, happily so

ZombieKitten said:

Why yes ... yes it has

Mach said:

Yes, twice....although the first time I now think was more unrequited infatuation....

ZombieKitten said:

and what a great teacher the lessons I learned ... something I would not change for anything

it was actually somewhat fun ... looking back on it now

Yes. TOO many times. I could write a book on this subject.

I might as well copy and paste an Orgnote I sent to another Orger about this, in fact, because it spells it out perfectly.

I spent a great deal of my life - not until all that long ago, actually - repeating the same mistakes, the same behaviour, over and over again. It would always go as follows: me meet guy, me fall head over heels, me unable to have guy, me beat myself up as a result, me eventualy get over guy, me meet guy, etc etc etc.. It was never intentional - and it wasn't a merry-go-round of unattainable guys in the way the above suggests - but dotted throughout most of my 20's were a few guys, one in particular, that I had unrequited love for. As anyone will tell you, it usually stems from somewhere and can be the most miserable, yet self-inflicting, thing anyone can go through.

Once I worked out what this was all about - that, basically it was a 'need' issue; I wasn't confident enough in my own self and I think you can trace all that back to the relationship with my father - I hit it on the head. Overnight, almost. That's not to say that there are no side-effects but life is much, much easier as a result. As I say, it's a big story but I never want to go down that path again. Ever.

onenitealone said:

onenitealone said:

Yes, I have.
[Edited 3/21/07 5:53am]

Yes, every single time, the love has not been returned. It's sad but the love I felt for these people was still beautiful.

Yes, if they want to make a mistake, let them and move on.

Stymie said:

Exactly the same for me. I'd have relationships with these people but none of them actually loved me.

JustErin said:

How could anybody not love you Erin?

JDINTERACTIVE said:

I'm pretty sure my dog loved me.

JustErin said:

i was going to make a joke and say; dogs are stupid like that..but thats too cute

Oh yes. Many times... or wait, it's not many it's just that love hurts so bad that it feels as if it's many...lemme think... ok once.

Teacher said:

"love"...

What does it mean anyway?...

Stymie said:

That's a divine way to put it. Yes, regardless of the outcome and any pain endured, it's incredibly beautiful to feel that way about anyone.

heartbeatocean said:

Each time, I've either done something detrimental to halt the process, or I've not been ready.

yes many many many times, I always walked away or was pushed away thinking I was not good enough. Yes it stemmed from need and harked back to my childhood. But one day I realized that I was an adult and need was not a thing to base a relationship on, so I stopped looking, stopped, controlling and let one of my best friends in the world leave me. He didn't love me the way I wanted him to or needed him to and when he left although it hurt for years and years, I realized that I deserved better, and more. He realized it too.


and years later better and more found me and because I had grown from the experience with my friend I was ready for his love.

Yes, for one man who has no idea of it.

I'm taking the secret to my grave too.

.
[Edited 3/21/07 11:46am]

INSATIABLE said:

Oh, ok. That makes sense. I had a HUGE crush on an older man when I was in my 20s which lasted for years. Everytime we'd get closer, I'd frantically back off. So both of your reasons above would apply to that one. Basically, I was drawn to him for a very compulsive reason. Since then, I've actually become good friends with him, but that doesn't explain why I fixated on a psycho.

JustErin said:

Well, you're hanging with the wrong crowd then. Stop dating jerks. Jerks are only good for sex.

....

ItsOnlyMe said:

But unfortunately the sex is always amazing.

JustErin said:

did you ever have sex with someone that was in love with you?

ZombieKitten said:

I think not.

JustErin said:

Well, the physical part, yes. But sex can be amazing spiritually, too.
Except the latter has an after effect too.