applekisses said:

When I find someone attractive who is gay I don't stop finding them attractive, I just don't pursue them. I don't understand how people can turn attraction on and off, I can't.

And for the record, it's not a 'fantasy' of mine. I was just thinking about it yesterday, but I was also sick and running a high fever at the time.

I'd still get boned by a really hot gay guy though...and he'd fucking love it, is what I say!

JustErin said:

It's not so much that I turn the attraction off, but that a guy being gay IS the turn-off.
Just like if I found out someone I was attracted to was a republican.
Sure, we could be great friends, but I know it's not gonna work.

CarrieMpls said:

Ok, I see what you mean.

That doesn't happen to me. I'll always find them hot.

I think women are attracted to gay men because:

1) they often take better care of themselves physically
2) they are unavailable (most women love the challenge)
3) they are more likely to engage in conversation about "feminine topics" and women love a good listener.
4) there's no drama and negative tension of the kind that often happens when people have "matching sexualities".

I think/know that men are attracted to lesbians because:

1) we have a visual sexuality and if we for example watch porn, it's nice to not have to see the guy
2) women are much more likely to be naturally physical with each other (hugging etc) which gets our imagination going
3) we hate competition and fool ourselves into believing that a lesbian would go for us but not for other males
4) lesbian sex seems very pure and sensual since it is generally softer and more sensory somehow

retina said:

This is a very well thought out, good post.

Thanks for ruining my thread.

retina said:

OH hell no. As a man who's been to lesbian bars on a few occasions, lipstick lesbians are few and far between--at least at lesbian bars here in Tampa. They're normally kind of punkish or just flat out butch. I remember leaving the bar with some lesbian friends my first time (about 8 years ago now) and thinking, damn these women hate men. I mean, they were very rude to me for the most part, often telling me to get out of the way. It was very masculine. A completely turnoff.

The lipstick lesbians seemed to get alot of attention, but there were so few of them around.


(yeah, I know I'm gonna catch hell for this. )

I went from having lesbian fantasies to just flat out wanting straight women to do gay things to each other.

Imago said:

I don't think that's something that is hard to find these days.

Now, two straight guys doing gay things to each other is another story.

JustErin said:

The few instances where I've seen straight girls go at it, were strictly a result of their showing off, or just being funny and drunk. I've yet to see a girl go down on another girl's muff just for fun though.

Imago said:

Because I rather doubt it happens. It's all about attention, to excite men when the straight chicks do it.

JustErin said:

Seriously, this is the best thread all day.

Imago said:

Well, I think lesbian bars tend to make it more polarized than what is normal. Lesbians go there to pick somebody up, and then it's more important to clearly show what kind of style you are / go for. I agree that some are very butch either way though, but that doesn't mean they'd be all masculine and brutal in bed.



Well what did you expect, you were a guy in a lesbian bar! You weren't even supposed to be there.

I went to a lesbian bar in Vancouver once with a bunch of lesbian friends (which is probably why they let me in) and I was treated just fine though. Probably because I tried my very best not to stare at all the beautiful women that were walking around topless in there. It was a real challenge, believe me.

I don't think guys want lesbians so much as they want more than one woman at once.

I can't imagine having sex with a lesbian. She'd not be into it at all. Two "open minded" women, on the other hand, sounds hot!

NDRU said:

I wouldn't mind trying a threesome, but it would mostly be for the memory of having done it rather than the experience of actually doing it. I almost never fantasize about it.

Lesbians on the other hand...
I don't even have to take part, it would be exciting enough just to watch. And if I would take part then of course she would need to be into it for it to be exciting, which I guess technicaly would make her bisexual rather than lesbian, but with "lesbian" in this context (this thread) I think most of us simply mean a woman who goes for other women (but not exclusively so). At least that's how it works out in my fantasy.

retina said:

I guess guys like watching two girls in action because there's nothing avert our eyes from.

but like you say, if we're to take part, they'd better not actually be lesbians

NDRU said:

like I tried to say before

God, this thread is confusing.

Human sexuality is only really as confusing as we allow it to be. I think most - or a lot - of people are conditioned to act in certain ways, to conform to certain stereotypes, to fit in with the status quo, going against their own grain, sometimes... Nothing new there, though.

If prople just did whatever makes them happy, there'd be a lot less confusion.

But I understand this. For example, I identify as gay. I like men. Full stop. But there is a woman in my life that I could easily say I am as close to being in love with (in theory) as I'll ever be - no-one makes me as happy as she does, no-one makes me go as completely ga-ga as when I'm around her. There is no-one I feel as protective towards. Yet, I have no desire whatsoever to sleep with her. Not even in the slightest. If I *did* then, hell, I would probably marry her but she's my female soul mate, I guess; I just have to find the male equivalent. (I've discussed here before that I don't think we necessarily have one soul mate and that's it... I think they come in different guises).

In some ways, I think the feeling is very much mutual but it could never be... it just wouldn't work and it wouldn't be fair on either of us. We've both laughed about it together. So I appreciate it, and the connection we have, for what it is. It's frustrating when all the men I meet seem to be complete idiots but if I meet one with even half of that spark... I'll be a very lucky guy.

ZombieKitten said:

goddamn lucky emoticons!

JustErin said:[quote]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Hmmm, I just have absolutely no desire in that area whatsoever. I could probably be involved 'emotionally' but physically they are as useful to me as electricity is to my gas stove.

JustErin said:

Maybe cos its cos you cant have what you cant get..

interesting thread though..

what about a gigilo? or you just wanna have sex with a gay guy? You think they would be more into your feelings.. or you just want anal?

REDBABY said:

Imago said:

REDBABY said:

Maybe just someone who's clean & neat.