Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the very first edition of what we hope will be a ground-breaking series of intimate interviews with legendary Orgers. Post masters, fake tracklists geniuses, multiusernamed wonders, stellar debaters... we will meet them and quizz them.. so we can all wonder at their creativity and intellect and be inspired to be better posters!

My first guest is none other that the wonderfully brilliant Icenine. The most prolific Orger on record, Ice has started hundreds of landmark threads and authored thousands of slamming posts.. A veteran of the great OkayPlayer invasion, he has been a massive presence on the Org, dazzling everyone with his charm, intellect and wit.

Please welcome Icenine the Magnificent!

(applause)

Icenine, I'm honored that you have agreed to be our first guest. You look wonderful. You are legendary for wearing this kind of uniform -- in fact, I've only seen one picture of you without your famous Redwing jersey and tuque. May I ask why you choose to wear this every day?

Aerogram said:

No? Not a problem... we'll just move to the next question. Tell me, is there something in your childhood that you think might explain your extraordinary posting powers?

Aerogram said:

... which you are welcome to use right now..

Aerogram said:

Or maybe you need to adjust your tuque so that you can hear me better...

[Alone in the audiencd] Look like everyones watching something else.

Aerogram said:

Aerogram, that is an excellent question... and the answer is that I avoid doing laundry like the plague... why I would just as soon sew my head to the carpet as do laundry. Here is a little known fact: that is not really a RedWings jersey at all... over the years I have spilled ketchup and catsup products on a regular shirt in such a way that the stains have made it appear to be a jersey.

I hate doing laundry.

Next question

Aerogram said:

When I was but a small child, I was beaten about the head and neck with a dictionary and a thesaurus... it seems that some of it kinda sunk in and embued me with a posting prowess that is second to none. Sometimes the words might not make sense, as the beatings rendered me pretty much an idiot... but they are spelled correctly... so that is something.

Like all great artists, you are a bohemian spirit. Picasso painted in his underwear, you post in a ketchup-covered Red Wing jersey...

What attracted you to posting? How did you become an Orger?
[This message was edited Fri Sep 13 16:08:19 PDT 2002 by Aerogram]

Aerogram said:

I am very sorry, Mr. Aerogram, I was a little pre-occupied with holding up a local liquor store... I got here as soon as I could.

Aerogram said:

Well, there is a funny story to this...

One day I was looking around the internet for an online turtle hatchery so that I could order some herring larva and I came across the coalition of elderberry farmers site... well, needless to say I had to sign up and here we are.

IceNine said:

Then you are no doubt disgusted by my grammatical blunders. I read you were a rebellious child. Did you always feel a need to challenge authority and establishment?

IceNine said:

That's quite a prestigious site, Icenine. I always knew your beginnings wouldn't be humble.

When you post, are you yourself or are you a variation or an exageration of some of what you are in real life?

Aerogram said:

Well... you be the judge of that...

Today, as a sort of silent protest against the injustices of the world, I decided to wear my underwear on the outside of my pants, but I realized that I don't wear undershorts at all and had to go totally naked. I was almost immediately accosted by a policeman who intended to arrest me. I explained to him that this was a silent protest against the tyranny of lawn care and that I felt that wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants would show the world that I was NOT going to take this shit anymore.

He was not impressed.

Policemen are usually not very artistic... I mean just look at our own cop.. Ian. .but I digress. You still haven't told me why you chose the Org? Why this site and not another?
[This message was edited Fri Sep 13 16:12:49 PDT 2002 by Aerogram]

Aerogram said:

Okay... a real response this time...

My posting reflects the real person that I am... sometimes I post from my cynical and sarcastic side and sometimes I post from my caring side... the cynical side usually wins out though, as it is MUCH more fun.

In reality, I am an extremely sensitive and caring person. I am a vegetarian and a pseudo-animal rights person. I do my very best not to hurt people's feelings... unless they deserve it, at which point I attack cruelly and without mercy.

So... I guess that what you see on the org is the real me.

Aerogram said:

Well, I had heard that you could buy some damned good knit caps in the org store, so I signed up... it was only later that I found that you could not buy a knit cap here... I was depressed, but I pressed on and have come to love the place.

IceNine said:

I think all great artists stay themselves even when they are pretending to be someone else for art's sake. But this at least opens the door to a variation on oneself, no? By accentuating this side of yourself, you do modify something basic. Don't you agree?

You have managed to keep your account open despite voicing some controversial opinions and getting into near flames occasionally. How did you manage that? I noticed you are never really blunt... is that your secret?

You are often compared to Wellbeyond. Do you like that? Do you think he's flattered?

Aerogram said:

I don't know if it is so much a modification as an amplification of basic traits. I expect that this is the case for everyone on here. Nobody is 100% positive all the time, but there are people on here that want to act like they are... this is simply an amplification of their caring side and is most likely not reality, but they are trying to be cool, so that's okay.

In my case, I am not actually amplifying myself in any way, I am just not balancing it with my normal caring/altruistic side... I stick mainly to my jovial, ironic, sarcastic, comedic side on here, so you don't get a real balance and thus don't get a full sense of who I am.

Maybe Heather (AzureStar) can help me out here...

Aerogram said:

My secret is that I do not think that my opinion is any more important, valuable or right than anyone else's, so I don't really get into a full-scale flame war. I will voice controversial opinions, but I will NEVER act like my opinions are the rule of law... I think that this keeps me from getting into too much trouble, as I cannot argue very vociferously against things when I truly respect the fact that there are other opinions out there.

Being blunt is something that I might do from time to time, but I prefer being provocative if possible.

...
[This message was edited Fri Sep 13 22:46:10 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

Aerogram said:

I think that I am very different from WellBeyond. He tends to take more of a point-by-point attack when responding to posts while I go for more of a gestalt approach.

I don't know that anyone should be flattered by being compared to me... I am just an idiot with a sense of humor.

IceNine said:

Since this is a medium, you can not be yourself on the computer screen.. You have to extract the essaence of your being through writing. That process lends itself to a lot of control over how we appear, don't you agree? If you were sad one night, nothing would stop you from posting jokes here and no one would have to know you are sad. Of course, a macho man like you wouldn't come crying to the Org, right?

Your avatar is scary. Some would think it denotes an aggressive temperament, but what you are really doing is laughing at the idea of being aggressive and scary, no?

Aerogram said:

You are so very right! There is no way to truly judge a person's intention when reading their posts. I could be really pissed off and still act like I was happy online, but that is not me. I will usually just not post if I am in a shitty mood, it is better for everyone that way... I think. I am a really big asshole when I am pissed off, so I avoid other people as much as possible at that point.

And... yeah, we have an incredible amount of control over how we appear on here and I think that this is a HUGE problem with the internet. The internet is a fantasy land for many people where they can be whoever or whatever they choose. This is why most internet interaction should be taken with a grain of salt and digested with a healthy dose of cynicism.

[Goldie, all alone, leaves audience area quietly].

[Goldie stands in the Org free bar, waiting for the taxi he ordered to get him away from this].

Aerogram said:

Funny you should ask that... I was a pascifist for many years, but I am not totally opposed to violence, as it is a part of nature. Aggression is also a part of the human makeup and is useful in certain circumstances...

The avatar was not actually thought out in depth... I just liked "Trilogy of Terror" and used the Zuni doll as an avatar.

Goddamn, I wish I had thought of the idea of the avatar being a protest against the violence in the world, but alas, it was not to be.

GoldiesParade said:

Get loaded up, miss the taxi and get back in here!

:EVIL:

Hello.