Are you ok with this?

Or is it a mess waiting to happen?


A friend of mine just called. About a month ago we were out dancing and happened to run into a guy I dated for a few months last fall. We all chatted and hung out for a bit, blah blah blah. Long story short, he found her on an online dating site this week and asked her out.
Now, she's a good friend, so called me to ask if it was OK before she said yes. Yay good friend! I told her it was no problem. I mean, he was a nice guy, the parting was amicable and mutual, it just wasn't "there". I'm a little weirded out he thinks it's ok to ask my friends out, but I suppose he doesn't have anything to lose. And while I know I didn't see any future in dating him, there's that stupid little twinge of "but why wasn't it me?". I'm not gonna be bothered for long, and it bothers me that that even crossed my mind, but there it is.


So how about you? Does it bother you if your friends date an ex of yours?

I think it depends, if we left on good terms I don't think I'd have a problem with it. Never happened to me so maybe I'm not the one to really comment on it

I've never had it happen to me, but when my wife and I broke up (when we were dating), my best friend tried to pick up on her...I technically had no issue with it, but the unwritten, but very often spoken rule of dudes is at least pay tribute and ASK the former dude if its cool....

under those particular circumstances, it probably would've caused a rift with him and I, but all was saved because she wasn't attracted to him at all...in fact, she said that he was the one friend of mine that reminded her of me the most.....which in turn made her want to vomit...

we apparently fixed that whole "thinking of you makes me wanna puke" thing....
[Edited 3/16/07 15:44pm]

depends what ex we're talking. Just some girl I dated, that's cool.




My ex wife? I'll tell them to go fuck themselves.

jerseykrs said:

I actually had an urge to tell her all the reasons why I didn't like dating him but stopped myself. Maybe they won't bother her.

reneGade20 said:

Well that's a relief.

depends on what the situation was. but my last ex i really wouldn't care at all, bless 'em both

brownsugar said:

So I guess it really comes down to whether or not you want anyone to have your ex I could care less what people do with certain exes. Where other exes, while I'm not with them, I'd tear my friends face off if they even tried it


OMG!!!! I heard the BEST excuse for fucking a friends husband. After getting caught, this lady told her best friend that she loved her so much she had to have sex with her husband to more fully connect with her

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

damn thats messed up

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

So....if she loved her so much, why not just remove the middle-man and engage in a little "lady love"...?

CarrieMpls said:

yeah...turns out she couldn't resist my overwhelming charms.....

for me it depends on the ex, the relationship and the length of time since our relationship.

depends I guess, but more than likely not.

I tend to be a tad bit territorial about things, so exes unless certain grounds arent crossed, are off limits

A buddy of mine dated an ex-girlfriend of mine. Didn't mind too much at the time, but definitely resented it later in life...

Not with someone I had real feelings for. No.

I'd feel odd about it, to be honest, even if I didn't like the guy. But then I'm ultra-sensitive to triangulation.

It's game, to me. They're an ex for a reason.

They'd just have to listen to me make occasional jokes about penis size and such.

It would honestly really bother me of it was a close friend of mine, but there would be nothing I could do about it. I'd never tell her not to do it...but I would just let her know that I would have a hard time dealing with it. I wouldn't be mad at her if she did go ahead and started to see him. I have no right to take it out on her or him...it's my problem.

If it's someone that I know but am not really close to, it's not as bad.

it's not done imo

Don't know about this, but my current/former? best friend was married to my wife for a year a couple of years before I met her. He moved on to her sister (which is when I came to know him) but he split from her too and we stayed in touch. Weird.

ItsOnlyMe said:

I guess I didn't, so I suppose that's why this is ok.

Now that I think about it, if I had there's no way I'd have said I was ok with it.

If I dated him for any period of time the shit ain't cool

I'd prefer them dating the ex to the current

ZombieKitten said:

Me too!!!

I really do not care who my ex is with anymore...they can have him.

For me, it depends on a lot of factors. How long did I go out with the person? How long have we been broken up? How good a friend is the friend? Generally, the shorter I went out with the person, and the longer we have been broken up, and the more distant the friend, the easier it is for me to be ok with it.

Very cool of the friend to ask you about it first. That seems appropriate, especially when it is a close friend. As Erin points out, however, when this happens there is not much I can do about it. Chemistry is chemistry.

When I am done with someone - I am done- I could care less what they do..I usually move on so they should too..

and yes chemistry is chemistry

Won't your ex be talking about you?, like how you were in bed etc?
Won't the new man sully the friendship you have, men do that you know.

liberation said:

Well actually allof my friends are married and would not want to be with my ex really. He is not any of their types but if he was I would not mind.
I really do not care what he would say or do after I am done with him- he is fair game.
I guess I only say this because I have no feelings left for him what so ever..guess that is why he is an ex.
My feelings are once a relationship ends- everyone should move on with their lives.

So long as its an EX.. I would have no problem..

I just have a problem when my *friends* date my BF

so should i be upset that my best friend is fucking my cleaner?

i am unsure how i feel, on one level it has nothing to do with me, but i am getting tired of the ass marks
being left on my dining table, i am sure its no good for the french polish