So, you know how alot of gay guys say that they are "Straight acting", and refer to efiminate men as "queens"?

Is this a myth, or is it prevelent in gay culture. Is there some badge of honor that is bestowed upon "straight acting" men or just straight men in general in the gay community?

Is being a top or bottom something that plays into this value system?


And what do gay women value? Is it the same with them?



Also, are gay sex symbols the same as those of straight females? : i.e., Brad Pitt, Tyson Beckford, etc.

it's a bit bizarre, but yes, it happens.

Brad Pitt





ICK

cborgman said:

Some of my gay friends won't hang out with effeminate men or drag queens. It's all very stupid to me.

Stymie said:

i don't understand it at all.

I once went to a queer/queer-friendly hip-hop show, and there was a rapper who came on in a jersey, baggy jeans, boots, tattoos, rough stubble and rocked the house with a song that had this chorus:

I'm a straight-actin' big-dick faggot
And I'll fuck you in yo mouth!



To paraphrase Imago, it was seven levels of awesome.

cborgman said:

I think it's because they are "passable" and don't want to be guilty by association.

Imago said:

I think among gay men who still deal with a lot of internalized homophobia, it's probably very prevalent to attach high value to "acting straight." To many others, it's no fucking big deal either way and to each his own.

Stymie said:

good point.

internal homophobia and self-loathing is very much a problem.

FunkMistress said:

excellent point.

Do gay men--I'm not talking men who occasionaly play in the other sandbox--but exclusively gay men, who identify as gay only, like female attention in the romantic sense? Or do they shun it?

I've never seen a gay man grossed out at female attention, but I always see derogatory jokes to that affect on T.V.

Imago said:

i can't speak for all, but i love it. it makes me feel desirable.

there are times that it bothers me, but that is because how they sometimes respond when i tell them i am gay. the one that really gets me is "what a waste"

i know they mean well by the comment, but it's pretty offensive.
[Edited 3/20/07 11:05am]

cborgman said:

Have you hit on a straight man thinking he was gay? What did you do when he told you? Did you believe him?



Why am I asking all these questions. I'm so gay.

cborgman said:

i was flirting with you on that other thread and you never saw it

Ah Grasshopper, you have much to learn...

A better question is "what about the straight men who act gay or seem to be effeminate?" You see, there are those too who walk among us. Why do humans insist on labeling each other on basis of how they "act" or what they do? Why is the sky blue for that matter?

Such generalities are just that. "Values" of being a Top or Bottom are also somewhat nonspecific, depending on the people involved.

Because non-acceptance of gay lifestyles continues, many do not want the label or association that goes with it. To buck the stereotype, they accentuate their masculinity rather than be girlish. For others, they queen-out to be more feminine. With so many people passing judgements on homosexuality, would you try to counter the stereotype (being straight-acting or butch) or find comfort in truly being who you are (and go so far as to be "out" as gay-acting, whatever that means)?

You, and society as a whole, would best see things more clearly if you stopped looking through glasses that see only black and white. Instead, consider everyone shades of gray. Sexuality is a continuum. Some people feel more comfortable at the ends, and others fluctuate somewhere in the middle. Gender is another continuum that overlaps sexuality. Just because you are straight, doesn't mean you don't act gay. See how this would work to clear up your questions?

Imago said:

i flirt with str8 guys a lot. it's a weird part of my shyness. when a guy is gay and i am interested, i say almost nothing to him, because i am so shy. when i think flirting is only going to be flirting, i am a whore with the mouth of a sailor.

emm said:

link me?

cborgman said:[quote]

Imago said:

i flirt with str8 guys a lot. it's a weird part of my shyness. when a guy is gay and i am interested, i say almost nothing to him, because i am so shy. when i think flirting is only going to be flirting, i am a whore with the mouth of a sailor.

purpleunderground said:

which version? clamped-shut shy or whore with sailor-mouth?
[Edited 3/20/07 11:25am]
[Edited 3/20/07 11:29am]

purpleunderground said:

Oh, I already act really gay, and believe my own as well as alot of other people's sexuality a continium--a grey zone in which we each find our own nitches. No issues there.

What I'm talking about is gay people in general. Those who identify as gay exclusively. And how they feel about gay acting, i.e. effiminate men, and if they value the ones who act more "manly".

It's kind of like saying someone talks black or chinese--people who like to think of themselves as having moved on often will ask "What do you mean by black? Or Chinese", to which I can only say, "Oh please--let's not play THAT game." We all know what's being referred to.


But anyways, that being said, I think cborgman's answers are straight forward and very interesting. Society in general has instilled a value system in homsesxuals as strongly as it has on minorities whose kids would rather play with the white doll instead of the black one.

Imago said:

It's OK

You're getting ready for the invasion

PANDURITO said:

For a second, I thought you'd make another wrinkled pussy comment.

Imago said:

Have you seen how much those 2 ladies loved my coment. They must be smokers

PANDURITO said:

oh damn

PANDURITO said:

Nope, I don't smoke.

I don't hate you, really

PANDURITO said:

Maybe there's no correlation to smoke and wrinkled pussies. My balls are normally pretty wrinkled but I haven't had a cigarette in 8 years.