Flambe said:

You mean the actual thread or just lack of tact?

It's nothing revolutionary, I know. I just want to see what happens. I'm thinking a little before I post, but not so much that my initial feelings get changed. It's not so different really though. I think I'm pretty honest here anyway, and besides, most posts here consist of brief chit-chat and pleasantries rather than anything deep. There's not so much to work with. It's not a radical change.

What do I think of you? I think you're talented and moody. I have no trouble getting on with you and consider you one of the people I can most easily interact with, but you seem to find confrontation with some people here. I don't think you really care though and you can be quite blunt in your responses.

org burp
[Edited 3/15/07 21:00pm]

What is it that you feel will come out of this thread? What is it you are seeking to really do with this thread?

I think you should be this way for the rest of your life.

Fauxie said:

you crack me up.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Good question. I'm still figuring it out. At first I wondered about how sincere I am, whether I really mean everything I say or whether I post something slightly different from what I'm thinking. I thought about the reasons I might do this (if indeed I do), to bring about what result exactly, like making someone feel good, making myself look good, making interactions easier, or maybe something else? I also wondered whether I'd lapsed into almost automatic responses which though genuine are given little individual thought, which would show a certain detachment. Orgers are all unique people, but have I at times developed stock responses to certain situations here? These are all things I'm trying to work out.

I must say, and I'm bearing in mind that with mainly chit-chat and brief interactions there's not been a great deal to work with, it's not so different posting this way to how I normally would. I think I'm an honest person, and though I know I do certainly humour people a little at times, or hold back the truth a little, I'm wondering whether this is all a waste of time if nothing really changes, I post the same things save the odd line or word, and end up putting someone's nose out of joint a little. I'm not sure any good whatsoever will come of it, but I'll keep going. It's really very self-absorbed though.

So, are you happy or not?


BTW, keep up the good work, I can't stand that sappy shit.

oops I was humouring you.

JustErin said:

Truly? Are you like this all the time? You can be very blunt too, but I doubt you always say all that you're feeling. Nobody could accuse you of being sappy or fake though. Well, they could, but I'd think they were wrong.

Do you think it's a good thing if I'm absolutely honest? I'm not sure about it. I think it can be socially discordant and just not viable if one wishes to have good, positive relationships with people. If the honesty is reciprocated in kind I could imagine things could go very sour and people would get very tired.

Fauxie said:

Yeah I agree. I was thinking if I tried this for even a day I'd like, die or something. And it wouldn't be natural. If I said everything I thought a lot of people wouldn't deserve it. Truly. Makes me sound mean, but I don't say it at least. I guess.

Usually if someone asks me a question and my answer is potentially insulting, rude, etc. etc. etc., I just look at them or evade the question and they move on. Maybe that's rude, too, I don't know.

heartbeatocean said:

I don't know if I'm happy. I don't know if I could just pick a word at any given time, say happy or sad or something in between, and say it's how I feel. I'm thinking about lots of things, doing lots of things, am in lots of different relationships with many different people and I have many feelings about everything. I'm very concerned about the future but on a day to day level I'm content and find many ways to be happy much of the time.

Fauxie said:

No, I definitely hold back at times. I just am not a fan of sugar coating. I think that there can be a good balance of being honest and forthright and being somewhat sensitive to people's feelings.

Fauxie said:

You could always take Spats on as a mentor.

My boss has a large hot-air-balloon-sized ego. She's always pumping herself up and bragging openly about all her accomplishments, how fantastic and tough and smart and powerful she is. I've worked for her for over four years and instead of openly stating how despicable she comes across, I simply don't humor her. I openly ignore her and only engage about real matters involving the work. I love it. Because she can be who she is and I can be who I am without pretending otherwise and the relationship still works.

Three questions:

What brought this on?

Hows life treating you these days?

What do you think of me?

JustErin said:

I am increasingly becoming a fan of yours. No sugar-coating intended.

Flambe said:

I think she may have the balance about right.

karmatornado said:

Partly what I wrote earlier in post #21, partly as a result of some problems in my relationship with a friend here in Thailand, and partly because of you - see answer to 3rd question.

Life's treating me as well as I could reasonably expect it to. I'm not really putting as much in as I should so things aren't great in many respects. My relationship with Mon keeps me happy though, but also more content than I should be to just drift along as life passes me by.

I like you, but you cause me some unease. You're very positive, which I like, and I've never known you to be anything but friendly towards me and very giving of your time. For this I'm very grateful. In many ways you're the complete antithesis of me though, which is fine, but you make me a little uncomfortable sometimes with how in your face you can be. It's not something I'm used to, to tell you the truth. I'm very laid back. I'm not very sociable and tend to keep most of my online interactions casual and at a certain distance. Most of the people I interact with online flit in and out of my life (and orgnote inbox), sometimes in touch more, sometimes less, and this is what I'm comfortable with. I actually stopped logging on as much when you were orgnoting me a lot. Horrible to say, but it's true. I did that rather than just tell you what I was thinking. It's your personality and I don't presume to tell you to change, but if you tone it down a bit and take it easy I'll feel more comfortable. I value your friendship and understand that the nature of my personality is behind this too, but I'm not sure how I can change myself from what I'm now so used to. I thought you should know, so there it is.

Thats cool bro, I appreciate your honesty. Thanks.

I feel like a real cunt.

Fauxie said:

Don't worry about it, your not the first person to adress my straight forward positiveness, Thats how I am in real life, and its how I will continue to be. I cannot control the perceptions that an individuals chooses to have of me. What I can control is how I will keep feeling about a person. Just cause someone says something I may or may not agree with does not make me hate them. The only way to make me do this is by being a total ass!

karmatornado said:

Up to me to accept you and appreciate you for who you are then if I wish us to be friends?

.
[Edited 3/15/07 23:00pm]

Fauxie said:

In a way yes, I can try all I want to make you appreciate me, but ultimately who you trust and befriend is an individual decision. Just cause you said what you said, does not make you like/dislike you any more or less. I'm just gonna keep being me, and keep in mind the fact that you've been cool to me. I'm not gonna be like Fuck You nick, you cunt, cause thats not how I feel. I mean was I taken aback, a little, but I'm cool. I'm still gonna talk to you, maybe not as much per your directions cause I respect peoples wishes, but I will still make an effort to communicate do to my extroverted nature.

karmatornado said:

Cool. Thanks for the response. I didn't know what to think there for a while. I'm still not sure about this whole thread and what I'm trying to do here, but I've had more food for thought than in a long time and I've a funny feeling that I'm actually learning something. It's probably all kinds of wrong, and very self-absorbed, but it's got me thinking about a few things that I probably need to think about. Takes me back to Erin's post about balance. Thanks again for taking the time to let me know what you think.

Fair enough, do what you gotta do and may this journey lead to some inner peace and answers to the puzzles in your mind.

karmatornado said:

Thanks. The situation I told you about with my friend, in the past I would smooth the way and do whatever to keep things civil and remain friends, but recently I went the other way and was brutal. I'm starting to think something in the middle would've been better.

Fauxie said:

Don't you think you are overreacting a little and possibly being a little too harsh on yourself? Internet interactions often mirror the way that we treat people in real life; as much as we may not want to admit it, we all, "make interactions easier," in life by humouring people. Otherwise the questions, "How are you," would be a bit of a loaded gun don't you think? Apart from a few select people (and some of them may be online if you are comfortable with the medium) get the truth. Everyone else in life is told lies and half truths to get yourself smoothly through the day without uncomfortable confrontations.

This obviously isn't the case if you are a naturally blunt person who plows their own furrow, so to speak. Forgive me if I'm wrong but I don't think that that person is you - hence the difficulty in this experiment for you.

Fauxie said:

That's a good description of life.

sj1600 said:

I'm not naturally blunt (aside from a sometimes facetious sense of humour I have here ). I tend to just want things to be easy and to get along with everyone. I wouldn't say I'm dishonest. On the contrary, I think it's one good aspect of my personality, but it's clear I do a lot of humouring and smoothing the way, though I refuse to believe I'm deceitful or disingenuous in this. Maybe I am? I think I'm just easy going and seek to simplify my life a lot.

.
[Edited 3/16/07 19:16pm]

so did u enjoy your letter, want more?