JustErin said:

Well, yeah, but someone else is using it right now.

Nothinbutjoy said:

It does, yes, especially when someone points it out to you.

CarrieMpls said:

I think it's pretty normal. A lot of chics are into that shit. And I know a lot of chics who they're partner DOESN'T do that to them, and they can't cum unless they imagine it in they're head.

Whats NOT hot is it being talked about before hand. Like, Oh, do you mind if I slap you around a bit?

Oh well, Okay, not TO hard though.

Like, it jsut has to happen.

Guys that do this are SO hot.

SureThing said:

Yup.
Yup.
Yup.

JustErin said:

It's a slippery slope, though. A bit of a hair pull and a bite or two are fairly common place. Anything more, though... I think once in a long-term relationship and you know each other extremely well, without overtly saying things you can get an inkling of what you can get away with.
But unless you know for sure, or if you don't know your partner as well yet you had better have some kind of idea up front. This doesn't have to be a sit-down, "Can I pull your hair? Check this box yes or no." kind of conversation. It can be incredibly hot to talk about.

JustErin said:

Hell a bit o' pain is tops, bite me, scratch me, suck me till i bruise....bring it!

CarrieMpls said:

No guy just tries this shit out without knowing full well that she's into it. That would be suicide if he did.

I disagree that it has to be in a long term relationship scenario to discuss this kinda thing.

CarrieMpls said:

Of course But you can do that kind of shit consentually and it still be abusive but it's really a fine line. It's about communication and intent.

JustErin said:

That's all I was saying!

And no, it doesn't have to be in an LTR. I was just saying if you are, you may have less to talk about overtly.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

If it' s concensual, it's not abusive. That's, like, the definition of consent.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I agree. There totally is a fine line there that sometimes can be crossed.

Some people can take it a little too far....and not even on purpose.

CarrieMpls said:

Not true! OK, I'm revealing my freak here Once I hooked up with a guy that was into rough play and I consentually went into it, not realizing how extreme he would be and he slapped in in the face so hard my ear rang and my jaw was out of place. It immediately brought back memories of my abuse and it stopped right there. Not only was I on the verge of tears but I was fucking pissed.

He obviously had little to no boundaries and didn't care whether I had any or not. I have been in situations where there was some rough play and it wasn't all about that other person. I think that's the difference. if that other person actually cares what you are getting from it, then there is an understanding of boundaries and that is where actually talking about those boundaries and what both your needs and wants are can be way hot.



Damn.... Ok, that ground this shit to a halt real fast
[Edited 3/14/07 11:58am]

I'd like to org slap some of you around the whole GD, and no, NOT in a sexual context!

:slap:

jerseykrs said:

Bring it bitch!

JustErin said:

Exactly. If someone is causing you damage that you don't want or didn't intent that is crossing the line.

the master gave me a hickie once

so I gave him one back in the middle of his forehead

ZombieKitten said:

mdiver said:

Double

joy whoda thunk people had so much to say about hickies??

ZombieKitten said:

was it before he went bald?

emm said:

It's a hot topic and

this is the .org

Feels good, but they look yucky.

CarrieMpls said:

People who are being emotionally abused may verbally consent to things that they don't actually want to do, and the asshole who is dominating them may be doing only things they have permission to do but with no actual concern for the well-being of the other person. To me that is abusive, but still consensual.

They have never been my thing since I have become an adult really.
I like sucking, biting, some hair pulling. I guess it depends on your comfort level with your partner. There is a fine line and I guess it is important to share your likes and dislikes.
I am not into sucking a mark on to someone's neck

Theres way better things to do then bruising someone.

Hitting and spanking just turn me off..

Sensual pleasure/pains like candle wax and ice....oh yes!!!!
[Edited 3/14/07 16:51pm]

ItsOnlyMe said:

no, I never knew him with hair

ZombieKitten said:

That is why god gave us PHOTOSHOP

mdiver said:

ZombieKitten said:

Errrrr Valentino Rossi or what???

I hate them..

why do you wanna advertise to everyone what you been up to?

I think they look gross and common.
If anyone gave me a hickie, or as we call them lovebites, I would punch him really hard and try and hide it.
I would much rather be left with a big red hand print on my ass as a reminder..