Ok, so as some of you know, I will be taking along vacation with my mom this year. She's always wanted to see Europe and I've decided I'm going to do a mother-and-son kind of trip with her and show her the sites.


But last night I had a panick attack--and I wish I was lying about this or just making it up so I could have another crude thread.

But It dawned on me that if I want to continue my life long tradition of masturbating, I will need to find creative ways to steal away and do my business without her suspecting.


I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm a sad, perverted, man. But lastly, I'd like some advice on when and how to do it.

I mean, the last time I went for extended periods without masturbating was in Basic Training in the military--a fate worse than death.

oh


my



god.

Why should that change now? I bet she knew when you were masturbating in your room when you are younger..

Moms are clever and if you think you were real secretive when you were doing it at home, chance is she heard and saw and smelled the evidence and had a lot of washing to do,..

CarrieMpls said:

What? It's like planning for shopping during a vacation. Guys have to plan for a wee bit of wanking if we don't go with a sexual partner.


It's absolutely vidal. I don't want to go through the vacation all edgy and pissed off you know. It'll be worse than vacation at the same time as quitting smoking or caffiene, I shit you not!

This is like me at 14 trying to figure out how to sneak a smoke at church camp.

One answer.

Showers. Lots of showers.

What about the shower?

I thought all guys did in the shower...

CarrieMpls said:

I probably am revealing stuff you don't want to hear, but sperm bunches up and gets really sticky--I mean REALLY sticky--in hot water. You have to be really careful about your aim in the shower.


This European vacation is going to require alot of finess on my part.

Imago said:

OMG...

I did NOT know that Are you kidding? Regular old sperm or super sperm?




[Edited 3/12/07 7:59am]

Imago said:

Perhaps you should practice your aim before you go.

So anyways.

I thought I was getting fat.....

But FALSE ALARM!

I just have my rag.

Is there any point to this thread?

Cloudbuster said:

Of course when I'm in England with her, I can always steal away with Cloudy and deposit my future-nation-love-juice where the sun don't shine.

Ok ummm...

I bet you wont have the desire to choke the doodle. At least I hope not
[Edited 3/12/07 8:02am]

ThreadCula said:

German girls have asses like apples. I will be horny the entire time.

1. don't share a room, dummy!

2. travel with gay men instead of your mother.


i'm doing both this week. it will be a wank utopia!

Anx said:

If I travelled with gay men, I wouldn't need to wank.

Anx said:

oh and one more thing--I hope you fun Anx. Takes lots of pix.

Imago said:

You should tell your mother that.

Anx said:

no.

Anx said:

I so don't want to hear that.

omg.

Anx said:

I thought he was just combing his hair

Imago said:

Yum.

CalhounSq said:

I found out early on, like when I was 13 or so.

There's nothing worse than your sperm turning into super glue, and the bathroom smelling of steamy sperm.

Nothing worse.



quote edit
[Edited 3/12/07 8:14am]

CarrieMpls said:

ALL I'M SAYING IS, an evil smile and an "ooookay" is much preferred to "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!?!" and a pending family intervention.

to be honest, i've gotten less wanky in my old age. less wanky, more cranky.

Imago said:

asian floridians have weird cum.

Anx said:

Anx said:

That shit is going in my signature.




quote edit
[Edited 3/12/07 8:16am]