Were or are your parents strict? Could you get away with murder or were you kept in your room under lock and key?

i just wish mine would let me stay up past 8:00 p.m.

Mine were strict yet encouraged us to grow and become independent

I still have great respect for all they did and didn't do for me

My parents were strict but naive and believed everything I told them.

Mine weren't strict at all, but my dad had a weird way of getting parental every once in a while. I only remember getting grounded once in my life. By my senior year in high school I really didn't have a curfew. I was pretty much on my own already at that point. When I pierced my nose when I was 17 my dad didn't notice it for a week, my brother pointed it out to him and I was told I couldn't live there with a pierced nose. That's the only thing I ever remember being disciplined on from about age 12 on.

my parents were lost in their own world
many a night i didnt even come home by the time i was 14
and they never even noticed or cared

strict parents just love their children and want them to do right..

eraclito said:

Both my parents were strict - yes.

My dad was old school strict....but had to relax it as I got older since he was a single parent working all the time and raising four kids....so by the time I hit high school I was pretty much on my own, but his discipline was instilled....I knew what I could get away with and what I wouldn't dare think about....

.....
[Edited 3/12/07 10:13am]

my dad was really strict. it didn't matter. me and my sis would sneak out with boys when he was at work at night anyway

No, they weren't. And I MOSTLY deserved their trust.

I couldn't watch "Cheers" (Sam was a philanderer); "Fantasy Island," (the title contained the word "Fantasy" which, to my dad, had a sexual connotation); or "Love Boat" (because unmarried people would share cabins).

Also, I couldn't listen to any rock music, pop music, hip hop, etc.

I was given the freedom to stay overnight at friends' houses (girl friends only, of course), and I had a fairly late curfew, but when I was at my house, it was a pretty strict environment.
[Edited 3/12/07 10:54am]

jillybean said:

Wow

jillybean said:

Did he seriously think that he could protect you from the concepts of infidelity and premarital sex?

I never understand parents who do that stuff. Though I guess it's better than not giving a fuck.

I had one friend whose father was very strict, told her what music she could and couldn't listen to, wouldn't let her have any posters or tshirts or anything related to hiphop. . .he was very silly. And she just did it all behind his back, plus came to resent him as a teenager. Bad scene.

psychodelicide said:

Did I mention I'm in therapy twice a week?

lock and key I couldn't leave my house to go anywhere unless I was with a relative but once I got older I made up for loss time...I was everywhere.

also the rules were kids are seen but not heard and you do as I say period.
[Edited 3/12/07 11:18am]

Mine were strict about certain things like table manners and politeness and dressing properly on important occasions. They never tried to affect my choices in life though, or "inspire" me to do certain hobbeys that I didn't like...except playing the guitar I guess.

Mach said:

DITTO!!

Mom was a soldier! Playing both Mom and Dad is no easy task!! She did it with a stern fist and a loving heart. I will do it the same way!!

jillybean said:

I hope not.

My parents were very strict with me. They came from Honduras and were raised VERY strictly themselves. So even though they were a bit more "liberal" than their parents had been, they were still far stricter than my friends' parents.

Case in point; I remember back in college (I commuted to school) I went out with my cousin and came home at 2:00AM...and got reamed out for it. I WAS IN COLLEGE!

But in the end they loved me and I understand why they did what they did. Now I'm trying to find a balance with my own kids. Yes, I am a strict parent...but probably less so than mine were.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

I truly believe my father did think he could protect me. I had a friend whose father was much more strict than mine. By the time she was about 15 years of age she'd had an extremely high number of sexual partners and a serious drinking problem.

I won't tell you how old I was when I lost my virginity, but I was older than all of my friends, and I was out of high school. My father had this bizarre way of guilting me for things I hadn't even done. One of his most used sayings, "The Good Lord doesn't like _____" (fill in the blank with "smokers," "quitters," "rock singers," "drinkers" - you name it), really had a hold on me and because of it I refrained from so many things (to this day I do not drink and have never ever tried drugs).

I don't want to wax too psychological here, but my father is 26 years older than my mother. I am the oldest of his children, and he was 50 when I was born. He would sometimes say, when friends or family were, in his opinion, 'behaving badly,' "Boy, I feel like I'm being crucified without any nails." My father also said, almost daily, that he knew he was going to die very soon, and that I and my brothers should love the man my mother chose to remarry once he (dad) was gone. I began to believe that if I behaved in a way that was acceptable and appropriate to both God and my father, God would love me enough to keep my father with me.

Note, my father will turn 84 next month. I love him dearly. I don't agree with some of his manipulations (intentional or not), but I do believe he was simply doing the best he could.
[Edited 3/12/07 11:31am]

PurpleJedi said:

My dad is also from Honduras.....so I feel/felt your pain....

jillybean said:

You know, I think that most parents do.

Do you think you would have waited to have sex, avoided drugs, etc, if your father had been less strict? Meaning, is that just who you are, or do you think it was mainly his influence?

I was kind of a weird kid. A good kid, really. I first had sex when I was 16, but it the context of a relationship that would go on for 10 years. I think the first time I got drunk I was 24, and didn't use any illegal drugs until after that. I had a sense that I wasn't mature enough to handle those things responsibly, so I didn't do them. I'm never quite sure whether I should credit my parents relaxed attitudes for that or not. They certainly gave me the freedom to make my own choices.

My parents weren't strict. The got separated when I was very young, so they both tried their best to be my favorite.

mine were pretty damn strict. i never partied, drank/did drugs, or anything, but they still treated me as if i did. i still haven't. they're a lot more relaxed now, but it was really fun a couple years ago when my mom mentioned that they're convinced i would've ended up a pregnant druggie if they hadn't sent me to private school.

evenstar3 said:

So can you party now? And do you?
Does it make you want to be more rebelious?
Would you do drugs or do all kinds of things just because before you weren't allowed?

ItsOnlyMe said:

i could, but don't 'cause i'm not into it.

evenstar3 said:

You are clever. Now if you only stopped calling me spats

ItsOnlyMe said:

but it's so fun!