My mom was very very strict because she was a single mom from the time I turned 12. so she always said she had to be the mom and the dad.
My dad was/is not strict with half sister and adopted brother.

I think I will be on the strict side
We shall see....

I was a very angelic child so my parents never had to deal with me But I am really thankful that my parents don't try and run our lives. None of us. They voice their opinions and try to guide us but they don't try and run our lives and I love them for letting us be our own people.

reneGade20 said:

Hey catracho!

I wouldn't say they were strict, just very protective and paranoid at times. I could eat anything I wanted, and listen to any type of music that struck my fancy. They wouldn't let me watch sex scenes in movies, but most parents don't. The only thing I remember them being strict about was that I couldn't go to sleepovers at my friend's houses. Plus, my dad told me that I was not allowed to ever go sky diving, be an organ donor, get a tattoo, or become a mortician. Two down, two to go. My dad gave me this cockamamy story about if you get hurt and end up on life support, they will shut off your life support and steal your organs if they see that you are an organ donor on your license. First of all, if I'm on life support, I would want to be unplugged anyway. I'm not going to be living on life support for years like that poor woman did. I'm definitely going to have to make a living will, because my father probably won't unplug me if this ever happened and my soul would be trapped inside my body, wondering around in the dark and unable to leave, because the machines are keeping me alive. Oh, hell no!!!! Plus, that's an urban legend and I don't believe that shit for one minute. I became an organ donor, because what the hell am I going to do with my organs when I'm dead, might as well let someone else have them instead of letting them go to waste. Then I'm going to get cremated and have my ashes sprinkled somewhere nice. Don't see the point in paying all that money to be buried and taking up space and destroying the soil...cremation will do just fine. He said I couldn't go sky diving because if I hit the ground and lived, he would have to take care of me for the rest of my life. If I hit the ground and actually survived from 10,000 feet, then I would be taking care of them, because I would write a best selling book about that shit and get paid. I have 6 tattoos and plan on getting at least 4 more. I haven't seen my dad in over 4 years and I only had two at that time and they are in clothed areas. My mom saw them and liked them, but I didn't show them to my dad, because I didn't want him to start crying or yelling at me. I just didn't feel like hearing it at that time. I actually wanted to be a mortician for a while when I was a teenager and I told my dad and he looked at me like I had just said that I wanted to be the best porn actress in history. Mortuary science is a good career to go into because you never run out of work...stability is very important to me.
[Edited 3/12/07 23:47pm]

HereToRockYourWorld said:



All valid points. Perhaps it is just who I am - I mean, my two brothers grew up in the very same environment as I did and they were both quite delinquent during their teens (partying hard, getting picked up by the cops, staying out all night, etc). My father did always tell me that I had to “set a good example” for them, so maybe that was part of my pristine behavior. Also, my father had/has low self esteem. He would cry often and blame his children’s shortcomings and mistakes on himself. I sometimes felt as though I were the parent, comforting him and making him feel secure. Growing up, there was a part of me that thought if I behaved in a good, honorable way, then no matter how horrible my brothers acted, at least my dad would look at me and say, “I must’ve done something right.”
[Edited 3/13/07 6:22am]

My father was laid back, but my mom was very strict... and she had the support of my grandmother, who lived with us for about 6 of my formative pre-adolescent years. They had this insane rule, for example, that besides school I could leave my yard no more than 2 hours every other day. And If I were even 60 seconds late returning, the cycle would be frozen for 3-4 days. It was virtual house arrest. And whatever I was doing -- I could be healing lepers or fighting Martians -- I HAD to play with my brother 1-on-1 for an hour at 4 p.m. It was quite the pain in the butt.
[Edited 3/13/07 7:47am]

my mom was crazy strict, i don't know...she's up there. Now that i'm older I still believe her rules were ridiculous. Too many beatings for little things.

Yes and no. Strict about being honest, polite and respectful, not strict about curfews and dating, etc.

I never had a curfrew. I just had to tell them where I was going, who I was going with and what time I was going to be home (as long as it was reasonable). If I lied about who I was going out with or where I went or came home later than I said I would without letting them know or having a good reason - I got in trouble.

I've also never been grounded in my life or had things taken away from me for being bad, my parents didn't subscribe to that kind of punishment.

Mum - no. I'm the 'baby' of the family so I could do wrong (and never did). Like Supa says, I was so angelic it's sickening. But we had an amazingly close relationship when I was younger. I was very, very lucky.

Dad - Erm, yes! Very strict, very old fashioned, a so-called 'man's man'. Part of the problem as to why we haven't spoken to each other for 16/17 years. It's a long story...

It always caused a lot of tension between them because, on one hand, my mother was/is married to this guy she loved; on the other hand, we had a HUGE bond between us so she would always stick up for me, particularly when she could tell he was being a little over-zealous. Which never went down well with him. Without trying to sound too self-pitiying - and, honestly, it's not meant that way - I could never do anything right in his eyes. Or that's the impression he gave. Amongst other things.


As much as I deplore his parental methods - and it scares me how easy it is to bring a child into this world without any particular 'skills' whatsoever - I guess all parents try to do the best they can, or as best as they know, irrespective of the results. I read something once (maybe on the Org?) which allowed me to let go of that particular chapter in my life... at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how old you are - 22, 42, 62, 82, whatever - we're *all* taking part in Life's journey. None of us know what's going to happen tomorrow, next year, in ten years' time. We're all learning our own lessons. And just because they're our parents doesn't make it any different for our Mums and Dads. No matter whether we agree with their methods or not. We're all just figuring out 'Life'.

So no-one has the answers and nobody's perfect. Even if we expect our parents to be sometimes.

Dad was the stricter of the two. Mom(RIP) would raise her voice once in a while, but Dad took care of the real discipline. Think of him as Furious Styles from Boyz in the Hood - strict, but fair. Sometimes I didn't care for his dictator-like ways(I had to develop a thick skin to deal with him), but looking back, I'm glad he did what he did. It's rough in the real world(especially for young black men), and he wanted his sons to be tough in order to deal with it. We always had happy birthdays and merry christmases, and thanks to them, I had a college education. Were they perfect? No, but who is?

XxAxX said:

can't you move out or something?

I was never allowed out of the house

ZombieKitten said:

And see what happened when you did? you pooped 3 kids. your parents sure knew what they were doing

ItsOnlyMe said:

I most certainly did not!