Ok, so as some of you know, I will be taking along vacation with my mom this year. She's always wanted to see Europe and I've decided I'm going to do a mother-and-son kind of trip with her and show her the sites.


But last night I had a panick attack--and I wish I was lying about this or just making it up so I could have another crude thread.

But It dawned on me that if I want to continue my life long tradition of masturbating, I will need to find creative ways to steal away and do my business without her suspecting.


I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm a sad, perverted, man. But lastly, I'd like some advice on when and how to do it.

I mean, the last time I went for extended periods without masturbating was in Basic Training in the military--a fate worse than death.

So anyways.

I thought I was getting fat.....

But FALSE ALARM!

I just have my rag.

dude, just wait till she falls asleep
how much noise do u make pulling one off?

just pull that bed away from the wall, the banging head board
could give u away.

and a side note, you might need to get a doctor to look at your dick
the shit aint supposed to turn into no superglue...

eraclito said:

I'm relatively quiet. I did it once in High Shcool while my pet cat was sleeping in my bed. I had to do it super quietly cuase I didn't want that motherfucker waking up and ruining the mood by trying to get me to pet it.

ThreadCula said:

German girls have asses like apples. I will be horny the entire time.

Imago said:

Not all of them!!! Some of them look like they are directly descended from female Soviet powerlifters.....complete with 15 inch cankles....

Imago said:

Not all of them!!! Some of them look like they are directly descended from female Soviet powerlifters.....complete with 15 inch cankles....

reneGade20 said:

and again

Cloudbuster said:

Of course when I'm in England with her, I can always steal away with Cloudy and deposit my future-nation-love-juice where the sun don't shine.

Just save it for the entire time you're there. When you get back that wank will be the best ever!!!!!

I can't go for a week though.....

M

Just save it for the entire time you're there. When you get back that wank will be the best ever!!!!!I can't go for a week though.....

M

eraclito said:

I'm relatively quiet. I did it once in High Shcool while my pet cat was sleeping in my bed. I had to do it super quietly cuase I didn't want that motherfucker waking up and ruining the mood by trying to get me to pet it.

reneGade20 said:

You got something against cankles?? Cankles owners need love too!

dude, just wait till she falls asleep
how much noise do u make pulling one off?

just pull that bed away from the wall, the banging head board
could give u away.

and a side note, you might need to get a doctor to look at your dick
the shit aint supposed to turn into no superglue...

eraclito said:

I've had sex in the shower and that stuff does indeed turn into cement if you don't wash it off completely.

eraclito said:

I've had sex in the shower and that stuff does indeed turn into cement if you don't wash it off completely.

sextonseven said:

you all have some crazy weird baby batter.

JustErin said:

nothing against cankles....but like everything else, ya gotta accessorize them bad boys....!!!!

Anx said:

You're vegetarian so your stuff is different.

Anx said:

You're vegetarian so your stuff is different.

sextonseven said:

It's "Lite".

superspaceboy said:

i didn't read about this ANYWHERE in 'diet for a new america'.