This is the best thread ever.

I love retina and so should you assholes.

Imago said:

ZombieKitten said:

He likes me you know.
We share special orgnotes.

Imago said:

ZombieKitten said:

Imago said:

My father does that brilliantly though. He takes an already quite humourous anecdote and enhances it, and people are usually hanging on every word, though I think it's generally understood that he likes to make a few improvements in the stories.

retina said:

I know what you're saying....."bullshitters" . Maybe there should be an emoticon symbol.

retina said:

See? There was an emotion.

!!!!!

Fauxie said:

I actually like people like that though, who aren't saying it to impress but to be funny and everyone knows it's lies.

xplnyrslf said:

is not bad for that

Imago said:

Ever since he described the semi-brawl he got into outside of a bar, I've been lusting as much as you have. He was all hot and sweaty and the testosterone was flowing....Sorry!! Off topic!
[Edited 3/11/07 20:25pm]

ZombieKitten said:

Perfecto!!

My 'best friend' is an expert at this, but also that thing where whatever you've done or seen or heard or whatever, he'll either rubbish it or at least give an example of his experience which will be slightly better. If you say you got some foodstuff at the supermarket on special offer, he'll say it's full of something harmful, can be bought cheaper somewhere else, or is cheap and not up to the quality of such and such a product. The truth improvement ties in with this as he'll tell little lies in ensuring he comes out on top.

And then there are his penis issues. He's nearly 40 and a bit of a randy sod and sure he's had his fair share of conquests, but when we've been drinking and he's perusing myspace for Thai girls to chat to does he need to relate details of his one-night stands and boast of his 12 inch penis? Does he forget that although I wasn't interested, and furthermore was appalled by his actions, that he once showed me pictures of him being sucked off by some young Thai girl he was seeing?

No more.

xplnyrslf said:

Fauxie said:

I like him already.

Imago said:

Dude, he was truth improving to the tune of at least 500%

Fauxie said:

oh. I thought you said it was 12 inches.

Imago said:

No, and this will sound weird, but that's because it's my life so it's inherently so, but don't forget he was married to Mon before. I mean, that's a poorly thought out truth improvement.

I'm done with the friendship for now. If he wants to try to work things out then fine, but I'm not going to be the one who again has to make the conciliatory moves to smooth things over. I should've been stronger over the last fews year over actions at times that appalled me.

Fauxie said:

Never put up with another friends bullshit. They turn into emotional blood sucking leeches.


I only ever put up with friends like that because they were hot, and it made me look more popular and stuff. But I never cared two shits what they thought--I knew their heads were empty



Shit, that says alot about me.

Imago said:

I'm not sure we can be friends anymore. I'm not hot, my head is not empty, and I'll never ever suck you like a leech.

Fauxie said:

Yes you are, no it's not, and yes you will.

Imago said:

Another Smiths t-shirt, dim the lights, tuck it under and speak with the accent God intended you to have and you might have yourself a deal.

Oh, and you'll have to change your myspace profile so that your interests are 'movie and dog' or something like that.

Fauxie said:

omg

ZombieKitten said:

He'd make the cutest little Thai girl.

They're the most entertaining thing about myspace anyway, bless 'em.

Who I'd like to meet:
Smart guys who have the same interesting and intelligent. Being gentlemen is A MUST. Handsome will be more considered!!!! HAHAHAHA!!

My personal favourite was the one with the headline "Palpable on the earth".

That's deep.

I have a cousin who exaggerates everything so much that I usually just tune her out b/c I don't know what's true & what's fake

I know that's not being a very good friend/cousin but I don't know what else to do in order to preserve my sanity She doesn't exaggerate about detrimental stuff, but the fact that she does it at all is just annoying. She'll talk about how she's SO broke & down to her last dollar, but then she'll turn around & talk about having just bought beer/cigarrettes/champagne - you ain't that broke if you can afford all that shit.

I'll talk to her one week & she'll be like, "I've gained so much weight, blah blah blah..." Then the next week she'll be like, "I was so skinny last week, I swear I gained like 20 pounds in a day!"

It's just so boring to listen to - why invest? It's just what she's feeling emotionally @ the time, not what's actually happening. I mean her emotions are valid but damn, at some point don't you have to get in touch w/ the truth vs. your bullshit?

I dunno, it's all so fucking boring... which is why I either tune it out or let the phone ring


.
[Edited 3/12/07 4:47am]

ItsOnlyMe said:

for somebody to say that they are "just around the corner" when they are late, when the truth is they are really like 10 minutes away and just saying that to calm my nerves is just flat out lying.

now for the other things pointed out in this thread about people "dressing" up the truth by throwing exaggerated things in certain stories or statements that said, for some people it's normal for them to do that.

I mean sometimes i catch myself doing it once in a while, in the context of telling what i told somebody about something that may have pissed me off, but i do explain the difference between what i actually said, and what i was actually thinking in my brain (what i really wanted to say to that person)...some people don't do that and have you thinking that they laid a person out, when really they didn't.

i dunno. this thead is making my brain hurt.
[Edited 3/12/07 5:10am]

Fauxie said:

I just finished reading one of David Sedaris' books again, and he too does that so well. It's hilarious. Makes the storytelling so much better IMO.

minneapolisgenius said:

i have a similar skill, well kinda

i can take an excellent humorous anecdotes and fuck it to hell up

if i ever begin telling you a story, do us both a favour and remind me to shut it