Are you able to accept things that happened and move on from them?

Are you some one that holds on to the past with a death grip and cannot let go.


I have always been one to accept it as it WAS, learn some thing from it and move on.

Today I heard "September" from Earth Wind and Fire.
This song used to hold significant meaning to me and my past. I would think that hearing the song now would tear me apart but it didn't.
I was able to listen, sing and dance about in my truck. I remembered back to what it meant to me in the past- I said a thank you for what the past experience taught me. I enjoyed the song- it made me smile instead of cry.

So- it made me think about how I deal with the past.

Just curious how all of you deal with the past.

Do you keep bringing it up and go over it in your head?
Do you try to reenact it and use it to cause others pain or do you move on and learn from it?



PEACE

Move on and up..

parts of the past can be sad, and there may be questions unanswered but dwelling on them too much affects your present and future

I accept the good the bad and the ugly

Life is full of surprises, but things happen for a reason even if we dont know why and what that reasoning is.. but thats what makes it so interesting

I love Earth Wind N Fire.


Are you able to accept things that happened and move on from them?
Depends what it is Val. I always move on, but I don't always forget or ACCEPT.

Are you some one that holds on to the past with a death grip and cannot let go.
About certain things yes. My mom comes to mind. A lot of stuff my mom has done, I have such a hard time letting go of, and I'm only just coming to terms with some of the things, now, years and years later.


I have always been one to accept it as it WAS, learn some thing from it and move on.

GOOD!

Do you keep bringing it up and go over it in your head?
Yes, yes I definelty do. Ecspecially if its something that cut me deep, or that I cannot accept is true and has happened, or if its unresolved with the person it happened with. Like if we've never talked it through. I tend to beat things to death.

Do you try to reenact it and use it to cause others pain or do you move on and learn from it?

No, I don't use it to cause others pain.
[Edited 3/8/07 16:04pm]

Shanti1 said:

No

Yes

Yes

retina said:

aaarrggghhhhh

The past is what makes us who we are, without experience both good and bad we would not be who we are today. Learning and growing are what is important in my eyes. We all do good things and we all fuck up.
When another harms us we tend to hold on but when we harm another we want them to forget.....
We tend to forget the good stuff that happens from others but we always remember the good we have done for others.

It is important in my opinion to learn, grow and treat others as we would wish to be treated.

Accepting my past helps me be better in my future.I dont hold on to pain in the way of holding a grudge but understanding that pain helps me grow, not that it does not still affect me because i am human.

Regret....none.....but i am sorry for much i have done.

I am also proud of much too.

It all balances in the end.

SureThing said:

I think it is important to get past things like what our parents do to us. Both of my parents did some messed up shit when I was growing up but I learned to realize they did the best they could with the skills that were handed down to them. I have vowed that if I ever become a parent that I will learn from the messed up stuff they did to me and end the cycle. It is the least I can do.

Besides- it is better to let all of that go then to let it eat you up inside.

I just farted.

My future's so bright,
I gotta wear shades.

Illustrator said:

To you too!!





[Edited 3/8/07 16:31pm]

Wow, Val.

That song means a lot to me too. It's one of the features of the vocal group I'm in.



And I eventually move on from the past, however it's kinda different for me right now, because someone from my DISTANT past is now a part of my present and I'm sure is to be a big part of my future.

But yeah, you have to let your burdens go and push on through. And the only way is through, in my experience..




.:
[Edited 3/9/07 4:35am]

Flambe said:

I guess a valuable lesson to learn is that the past is not always a bad thing to be part of your future.
I suppose like Mdiver mentioned- it is important to carry some of that with you to help appreciate the present and future.
We cannot forget the present when talking about the past and future. Though for me that has always been the hardest part- the present!

I am so glad that I can think about the past and not be sad or mad really- though I spent 10 yrs trying to make things work- i learned a lot about myself and my needs. I have to remember to take the good stuff from the whole experience and be thankful for that as well as the not so good stuff.

Are you able to accept things that happened and move on from them? Yes, though I allow myself as much time as needed to do so. It is natural to go over events to process then and transform them into positive life lessons

Are you some one that holds on to the past with a death grip and cannot let go. NO, though again I allow myself to dwell as needed to not surpress things in unhealthy manners



Do you keep bringing it up and go over it in your head? Only as needed to process the info and move forward
Do you try to reenact it and use it to cause others pain Lord NO or do you move on and learn from it? Yes






.
[Edited 3/9/07 4:58am]

Are you able to accept things that happened and move on from them? For the most part or eventually yes.

Are you some one that holds on to the past with a death grip and cannot let go? Some things I do hold onto as a way of never forgetting the lesson. Like fire, it burns so don't play with it.


Do you keep bringing it up and go over it in your head?

Do you try to reenact it and use it to cause others pain or do you move on and learn from it?


I don't always bring it up but I do go over it or relive it in my head especially if it's a lessoned learned type of thing. I'll relive the feeling over and over to reenforce this is what happens when you do what ever (again like don't play with fire). I never forget the lesson or experience from having done whatever. I don't use it to cause others pain but others are indirectly affected or not, it depends. Because once I've experienced something negative and I've marked it a lesson learned then that's it. I'm not doing, believing or open to experiencing it again from anybody and I don't care who it is or what they claim or say because I’ve already been there and done.

Shanti1 said:

That's beautiful. I try to deal with it the same way.

Tremolina said:

I really surprised myself actually that I was so happy instead of sad. Though later on in the thread I think I realised that I have more trouble with the present then I do the past some times..so I will need to take a look at that and see what I can do to improve that.



Thanks for your input