In a social science class we once discussed if people would like a bit of jelousy from their partner or not. Suppose your partner does not act jelous or a bit jelous if you are talking to someone else or someone else flirted with you. Would a bit of jelousy from your partner make you feel like he/she cares compared to them not feeling or acting a bit jelous?
Or maybe not jelousy but curiousity.
[Edited 2/28/07 20:26pm]

I used to. It was a perverse way of validating my worth to my significant other.



But it's a game that often boils over into hostility. So no--not anymore.

Jealousy is completely normal.

It's how you deal with it that's key.

I'm ok with my guy feeling jealous, I am not ok with him acting out on it.

No.

I like a little jealousy from him. I mean, I wouldn't want him goin around stabbing every guy that looks at me. But, if he didnt seem to be jealous, I would wonder.

DanceWme said:

Yeah, that's what I mean.

when it's a joke/light-hearted, sure. anything more than that can get annoying.

Nah, not really. I'd get disturbed really fast.

There is "flirting", and then there is "coming on to".

Albeit, the lines may be very close and varied for individuals, I think that the first is pretty harmless, and might even be the thing that attracted you to that person initially. Obvious "coming on to" a partner certain is reason to sit up and take notice though. Either the person directing it at your partner is very disrespectful to the both of you or if your partner is encouraging it, you may want to understand why they are opening that door.

Jelousy is an ugly thing and should never come between a couple.
People just need to be attentive to their partners and their relationships - that applies to both of them.

MuaPetahl said:

You know the weird thing Mau is that I've known you far longer than I've known any of the other orgers.

Noticing someone flirting with or talking to me is one thing, getting jealous because they are is a whole other thing. Dealing with somebody with jealousy issues is nothing but a headache and unnecessary drama. IMO

a teeny bit is nice if it is accompanied by trust

nothing like a a little proprietal handholding in the presence of other hunky men

ZombieKitten said:

There it is.

SHANNA said:

or should that be proprietorial

Well, I understand the question.

It's like junk food. It tastes good but you know it's not good?

I don't really want her to be jealous, no. But on some level it's nice to feel like somebody wants you enough to care if other people do too.

But basically, no.

I guess there's a fine line. Knowing some one cares if some one else is trying to steal you away probably feels kind of nice. I must admit I have never been with any one that was the jealous type.

I have always been given my freedom and fully trusted with it.
[Edited 3/1/07 4:08am]

I'm a jealous person, so I know where jealousy comes from, but I HATE a jealous guy.

Only because I've had it to thee extreme. I always tend to end up with psychos. Plus I'm a flirt, so the 2 don't mix well.

But I could see how some people would like they're man to be jealous.

Would a bit of jelousy from your partner make you feel like he/she cares compared to them not feeling or acting a bit jelous?

Good Lord NO ... jealousy in any form, specially a public display would not make me feel good about myself or my partner or our relationship








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[Edited 3/1/07 4:37am]

I guess it comes down to extremes and how you deal with the jealousy. If you discuss it and do some thing positive with it- it could be good.
It is also about boundaries I suppose as well.

My ex always acted like he could care less what I did and I thought that was great at first but I guess it comes to extremes. Some times him turning the other way when he saw someone flirting or me flirting made me feel like he did not care.

So some thing in the middle would be nice I suppose.

Its a really fine line as many have stated, i like my other half to care enough that i am not out there putting it about but also free enough that my personality is not quashed. Like Charlotte said its nice to have a hand hold when they want to show that my heart is theirs

My boyfriend can take his jealousy a bit too far.

Polar opposites.....

To me, the only thing that will get a jealous response from me is out and out disrespecting her space or if I'm standing RIGHT THERE and some guy figures that would be the best place to have a "who's is bigger" contest.....flirtation, however, doesn't really bug me at all...

...on the other hand, my wife is a DEADLY shot from about 100 yards....