Do you feel you have another "under your thumb" so to speak ?

Who and why ?

Mach said:

Hmmmm. for the first time in my life, NO.

SureThing said:

OMG! YOU RELINQUISHED CONTROL!

WYF IS WRONG WITH YOU!

HamsterHuey said:

I know.

I'm going soft.

SureThing said:

1st time as in now you don't ?

Did you ever ?

Jeez, before you know it you cannot swiffer through the house in a mild arousing way and then it is all OVER.

Mach said:

I've always had someone to take advantage of, yes.

Someone who would do anything and everything for me.

I've always OWNED.

Now I don't.

My husband is under my thumb, I guess. But I'm under his thumb too, so that doesn't really count.







Herman, were getting a pool put in, in the spring.

Soon the whole neighborhood will be under my thumb.

SureThing said:

So, how does that make you feel now ?

And ... how did it feel in the past to take "advantage of" and "own" someone ?

Mach said:

I was gonna say in my first post, that for once I feel (I can't think of the word) but ful filled?

Like, I feel normal, and happy.

I don't like to take advantage of people.

I like where I'm at now, now that everything is balanced.

And I've been taken advantage of too, I obviously don't like that either.

Oh, and I don't wanna sound liek a 'jerk' , like I take advantage of poor helpless people.

It's almost always a fair trade.

The people 'under the thumb' always want something from you too.....just because you don't 'give' it to them, doesn't mnake you a bad person.

I just like it now, now that I don't have to with hold anything, I get what I want, and my husband gets what he wants.

SureThing said:

You know, besides IstenSzek, you are always the one that makes my cats jump up in the air, as your remarks almost always make me LOL for real, you know. People that know me could tell you my LOUD laugh is REALLY loud.

Poor cats.

Do you think your husband could handle openly gay friends of his wife coming over and stare at him in his swimming trunk?

HamsterHuey said:

Awwww.


Um, he'd probably act like it was annoying him, but he'd secretly ,LOVE it.

SureThing said:

You do not sounds like a jerk. You sound like a human, that learns the rules while living. People who tell you you are a jerk are peeps who could never shed a light on their own short comings.

This is one of the reasons I like you waaay more that any political correct poseur here on Org. Nobody is perfect. I have NEVER been attracted to perfect people.

And indeed, EVERY relation,don't matter what kind, has a certain balance.

And we, my dear lady, have so much in common. Except your twang, of course. But it is GOOD I am not close to you, cuz I would hang at your house ALL of the time and pick up the drawl and flirt with cute farmers guys that would dress me up in peck and feathers soon enough.

SureThing said:

ohoh.

I dated such guys.

HamsterHuey said:

If your ever in the states you need to come lay by the pool with me.

But you can't tell my husband we met on prince.org.

Say we met on like, I dunno, crockpotrecipes.com or something.

SureThing said:

post of the YR

Heh, I like a good strong personality to crawlup against and feel safe and warm, but those peeps often take it as boss you around, make a fool of you in public.

I once HAD a guy that liked bossing me around the RIGHT way, without ever NOT respecting me. Miss him.

Not my style to "own" another but i very much much want another to own my heart. I guess its a thin line, but control.....hell no in fact i usually go the other way and spend so much time encouraging them to be all they can that Phil gets forgotten and left behind...that is one of my long term goals to work on.

HamsterHuey said:

THAT is hard to find.

SureThing said:

Yeah. It is. You know, respect is the basis for ANYTHING you want to last longer than just a short time. It took us a long time to balance the scales. We were young and dumb and full of, well, you know...

If he still had been alive I am sure we would still be involved. He was, besides my lover, also my best friend.

There are a few people who probably could have been if I'd have let them, but it makes me uncomfortable.
So no.

No, I can't say that I ever have, there are a few people who probably could have been but I don't like to be or feel I'm being manipulated so I don't or try not to do it to others.

SureThing said:

i wanna come too! i'll even bring some crock pot recipes to keep up the facade.

Ew. No.

When I was young I liked being a bossypants. These days I don't want that power.

HamsterHuey said:

Bloody loud! But lovely!

fantasyislander said:

You should!

SureThing said:

we can sit around your pool acting snobbish to all the neighbors who come and want to swim. but you have to be sure to invite some hot guys over so we can ogle them in the trunks. include a few gay ones so herman can hit on someone.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

i don't either! i don't like when someone feels too underthumby to me - i feel like i owe them something or that they're earning some kind of certificate of merit that i may not want to give them. plus, i'm just too into reciprocity and balance, and if someone doesn't do anything for me, i can do that right back for them.

Anx said:

Yeah, I don't want to be responsible for issuing certificates. . . mind your own damn self-esteem! Plus, I'm just not qualified. I'm doing a barely passable job of running my own life most days. Not likely that I'm going to do well with somebody else's.

I'm NOT so good on the you're-not-doing-anything-for-me-so-I'm-not-doing-anything-for-you part, but I'm trying to be better. I saw my therapist recently for the first time in a while, and he asked me probably three times to tell him something about how I felt regarding this or that, and three times without even realizing it I launched into how the other people involved are doing/feeling, blah blah blah, and he's like, "no, YOU! How do YOU feel?" . . . and then I'm fucking silent. It's pathological. I gotta stop.