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when is a father not a father? a child custody case that was decided a couple of weeks ago has stuck in my mind.
a man and a woman have a short lived non-cohabitational relationship. it ends after there is a drunken argument where the man hits the woman. the woman finds she is pregnant but does not tell the father as she said she believed him to be sterile. she is not interested in raising the child and before giving birth makes a private custody arrangement with a non-familial couple in another city. someone alerts the father that he has a child and it is about to leave the hospital to the custodial parents. he gets a dna test that proves he is the father and he attempts to gain custody of the child. he claims to have not gotten any assistance from the government bodies involved. he has now lost custody to the new parents that have been raising the boy for the last 9 months. in the judge's ruling he denys the father any access to the boy for one year to allow for bonding to occur  but lauds the father for his attempts to put his life together.
so... no easy answers. 
the woman chose a stable family for her child which is good. a father who wants to be involved is shut out which is not good. i disagree with the decision to keep the father from the child and think some of the rulings here were based solely on this case and do not reflect on paternal custody as a whole. the most fucked up part of this story is that the adoptive couple are requesting child support. 
some story links globe and mail canada post  She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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I work for a law firm. Had a similar thing happen.
Child was with a couple who were wanting to make it official to adopt child, plus they had kept childs whereabout hidden for 5 years  . Natural father found out about child and the adoption matter. Father went to Court. Judge allowed adoption (seeing as couple is all the child knows, home environment).
Judge ordered that the natural father gets visitation access with the child, which has been going well. The judge should of given that child to the natural father 
At times the Courts are fucked up as well as the Laws  
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I know "fathers" who are not fathers...but this guy was never given a chance. The Normal Whores Club | |
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My daughter's father is not a father. | |
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It sucks, but you have to be careful of the choices you make. A man who got into a drunken arguement and hit his woman is a red flag in a custody case. Granted he didn't know she may have been pregnant, but if the mother had thought he would be a good father she would've given custody to him and went on her way. Of course she may not have known that it was his child as she had assumed he was sterile.
I'd say that this is just an unfortunate circumstance. As much as it hurts that a father who wants to be there for his child is not allowed, I can't fault the court for not giving a child to a man who has a very recent history of drunken, domestic violence. That type of thing sets a precedence in the courts that could endanger a child in another custody case. That adoptive couple is fucked tho for asking for child support. A two income household is enough to care for a child. [Edited 2/18/07 13:30pm] I graduated bitches!!! 12-19-09   | |
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childs interest first
fine that it has a stable family good they want to raise the child as their own....good....no support should be sought Father has interest...its his child..should be involved on a supervised level Man thats fucked up | |
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gemini13 said: My daughter's father is not a father.
co-sign
some may remember the story i've told about my friend who cleaned her life up after a meth addiction and fought to get her daughter back from the foster family who wanted to adopt her. they're a loving and happy family now.  There is no perfect place
Yes I know this is true I'm just learning how to smile Thats not easy to do | |
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not relevant edit [Edited 2/18/07 15:49pm] | |
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PurpleRighteous1 said: That adoptive couple is fucked tho for asking for child support. A two income household is enough to care for a child.
i mean really... before the father was on the scene did they intend on asking child support from the mother? perhaps they thought if they threatened child support payments he would back down over custody.  She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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emm said: PurpleRighteous1 said: That adoptive couple is fucked tho for asking for child support. A two income household is enough to care for a child.
i mean really... before the father was on the scene did they intend on asking child support from the mother? perhaps they thought if they threatened child support payments he would back down over custody. yeah, they got some balls asking for child support. that is really messed up. There is no perfect place
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If the child is in a loving family, it doesn't matter that the adoptive parents ask for childsupport.You don't have to be rich to give love to a child.
I absolutely don't agree that the father can't see his child. And the fact he hit his girlfriend... Everybody makes mistakes ( I DON"T AGREE ) but that doesn't mean is not able to love his child ... everybody deserves a chance to be with his son or daughter. Let the man prove his love and responsebillity to be a good father for his child. There are gonna be questions later by the child  The Borg... Partypoopers of the galaxy.. ( Medical Hologram )
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