I found out a close colleague of mine took his life last week. We spent three years in film school together as classmates. We grew up as artists together. We will forever have that experience and connection. I can't believe he did this. He had two small boys and a beautiful wife and they were deeply in love. He was an accomplished artist and musician.

I need to talk about this with everyone. I need to talk about it with nature. Peace to the depressed, may you find your source of light.

Oh my...I am so very sorry- for you, for his family, for him.

This is so very sad to hear. My heart goes out to everyone effected by this.

Sorry HBO.

i'm still angry with a man i knew that took his life when his wife was pregnant
how tortured does one have to be do do that?

and why is it that of all the people i know that have taken their own lives
(and that's quite a few... shocking when you think about it)
that they are all men? and all except one were adults with families?

My sympathies

heartbeatocean said:

Sorry to hear about this, how tragic!!

emm said:

I personally know of several women who have done it. And well, I find it wrong to feel anger toward the people who go that far.

And I'm so sorry to hear of your news, HBO. It's quote sad when everyone around the deceased has no idea why they've decided to go that route. Makes you wonder how much attention we truly pay each other. Please don't take that the wrong way--it wasn't meant as such.

By the way, the book you recommended me is on its way--I'll orgnote you with my findings and insights. Thanks again. My prayers to you and Cayce's family.

INSATIABLE said:

anger was only one of a myriad of emotions. but i know what you mean.
he was such a brilliant man...


heartbeat it's never easy to learn of someone's death much too young
wishing you the time and space to process it all

emm said:

My first response was anger too. I spoke to my elderly friend Phyllis last night. When she was much younger, Phyllis attempted suicide and very nearly succeeded. She was married with three young children. Her daughter found her and she survived. She told me she felt like she was doing a favor to everyone if she left this life, then people wouldn't have to deal with all her problems.

That helped me understand a lot better. Maybe Cayce wasn't doing it to hurt people, but to help them... It's a total loss of perspective, but I know he had a history of severe depression. He talked to me about it once about nine years ago.

INSATIABLE said:

He told me about his struggle with depression years ago and we talked quite a bit about exploring meditation which I thought would help him. But he was like a brother to me, who I didn't get along with that well, though we held a deep respect for each other. We had a big conflict in grad school and were out of touch with each other in recent years, so my feelings about this are complicated. I have to say he was one of the biggest believers in my artistic work EVER and I'll always treasure his words and feedback.

What insatiable said

I know none of you know him, but here's a little about him. You could honor his memory by giving it a click.

http://www.rememberingcay...gspot.com/

Thanks everyone for the loving words.

heartbeatocean said:

That is so touching. What a wonderful man.

INSATIABLE said:

The best part is the video "I was never able to pick a favorite angel"

heartbeatocean said:

I'm sorry about your colleague HBO, sadly we don't always see a person’s despair it can be missed especially when things seem to be great for them, or appear to have everything together, we just can never tell how much people are actually hurting, depressed or how close they maybe to the edge.
[Edited 2/18/07 16:45pm]

I'm sorry for your loss.
I've known several people who died this way. It's so terribly sad, depression is such a hard disease to deal with. Maybe more men actually follow through with it because it's so hard for some of them to share their feelings. I don't know, I've been depressed to the point of wanting to die but have never crossed the line to actually doing it because it leaves so much pain for the survivors.

Grieving is so interesting. I can laugh at the memories and then when I don't expect it I have to just stop and cry. It's such a shock.

NAnomaly said:

Agreed! I recently had to quit my job because of depression. Even though my idiot boss knew about it, he had no friggin clue what I was going through. With medication, hopefully I will get better. Sorry, didn't mean to jack this thread and make it all about me, just agreeing with what NAnomaly said.

Rough day at work. I keep tearing up at my desk, big headache, hard to concentrate. My boss had no idea either, but I told a co-worker.

heartbeatocean said:

That's hard to have to try to concentrate at work when you're grieving the loss of someone you knew.

psychodelicide said:

I just have to go through it, I guess. Take it as it comes.

My heart goes out to you and to him and those who loved him!

I've been thinking of you today, hon. I'm so sorry that you're in this pain.

I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy. I'll keep you and his family in my prayers.

emm said:

IMO, this is really a powerful testament to the damage we do to men in a society that endorses, promotes and fosters the suppression of emotion. Men typically don't have outlets except anger, depression and rage.

Ocean, I'm sorry for your loss I hope that you can keep his memory alive with the beauty he shared and not his desperate last act.

heartbeatocean said:

A few months after my cousin was killed I ordered lunch and wasn't even thinking about her at the time and I looked down onto my plate and saw Spanish Rice and instantly burst into tears. It was her signature dish during the holidays. I totally relate to what you are saying

heartbeatocean said:

What a striking man. Very handsome in a different way. I can see how/why people would be drawn to him. It's fantastic that you are able to memorialize him the way you have