Basically, Splonkees are traditional poems from Europe that include only letters of the alphabet (numerics are no good), optional references to genitals and at least one emoticon per line. Basically, they're like haiku in so far as they're a load of pretentious crap.

Let's hear your Splonkees on any subject at all.

Here's my effort. This is about Lost, the TV show.

'People stranded
Island of loneliness and viewing figures
Bullshit like one-eyed-banjo that people will get bored of
My life's worth more.
What's on the other channel, hopefully dangly bits?'

Many fish swim here
They procreate with their genitals
After the storm
they discuss Plato and eat grapes
Oh if only they had legs, i would marry them

Nintendo Wii

'Swing your handset
Games with new meaning - clitoris has new meaning too!
Geeks have weapon to encourage previous non-gamers
Batteries for handset like batteries for faux cock of vinyl'

Celery


it rests in my hand
dip it in the sauce
until its gone
watch it disappear
and then smile because the sun is here

LleeLlee's breaking the rules
But that's ok
She's cool like that
oh, and vagina
[Edited 2/17/07 17:53pm]

Circumcision or bust
Allow entry or docking not-allowed
Poem for the foreskin or lack of
Anybody enjoy gherkins?

Carrie came to London
And bought a pair of shoes
the man in the rain coat flashed his genitals
She's coming back next year
to buy the other one

LleeLlee said:

LleeLlee understood not the concept
of at least one emoticon per line and her
stinks.

Girl, Interrupted on TV other night
Winona mighty cute , layered performance
Angelina Jolie chewing scenery
Crazy, one-dimensional characters easy to portray
Flick better than remembered

Stiffy.

LleeLlee said:

Haystack said:

I miss you truely! However, that was shite!

CarrieMpls said:

Desperate toss in of genitalia but acceptable!

Haystack said:

Ok well, here you had me righttttt up until you tossed in a gherkin....

quite small and well, insignificant really!

LleeLlee said:

It works!

Ace said:

SCORE 10!

ok so well... I lack a gift for this so I became a critic... sue me!

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Sue Muse, for knowledge of Splonkee
no gift for said art,
Spam javelin and beef curtains
I yearn for lego

Muse, pouty lips
Californiacation, chill pepper socks on genitals
Give it away give it away now
How I think of thee muse fondly

LleeLlee said:

Just beautiful, man.

splonkees, mighty splonkees
until today a stranger to me
now i know your name


grim edit
[Edited 2/18/07 9:46am]

alone, in my room
thoughts of you on my mind
another lovely sunday

A wank
Masturbation,
Bringing my self to joy.
Quick one off the wrist
Self abuse is the music of the damned

Cloudbuster said:

Cloudbuster is back!
welcome him with open arms
and other open bits

He holds the door open :
and i walk through
i find an eyelash on the floor

that belongs to him.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

treasure trove of love :
IrresistibleB1tch and her Ark


is there room for me?
[Edited 2/18/07 11:39am]

Cloudbuster said:

you're looking good
can fly?
because i'd rather eat out
tonight