2the9s said:

Thank you David. Everyones words are helping in their own way. I am by no means mad at mom, I know she just doesn't think straight lately. I worry all the time about the decisions we are making with BOTH our kids, but who the hell gets a manual? No one.

Hey, think about it this way. She's a wonderful woman, but look at how she's acting (and how much she's hurting you and herself) by refusing doctor-prescribed meds. I consistently ignore doctors' advice when it comes to pill popping at the drop of a hat, but there are extreme situations that warrant medication, of course. Debilitating depression, schitzophrenia, etc--obviously, there are times when you've just got to bite the bullet and do it, when you compare how things will get if you don't.

Again, I'm sorry she's being so hurtful. As you know, she doesn't mean it in the slightest.

You remind me a lot of my dad. He raised me all by himself and I get choked up just thinking about how well he did under the circumstances. I'm so proud of single parents. It's not easy.

I have known kids of friends and a boy I grew up with who both needed meds ( diet and other concepts werent going to change it) and were not taken care of.... that is cruel! Both recall hard childhoods filled with people that couldnt tollerate them and teachers who were flat unkind. Left feeling like they were bad all the time....

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Just reading this post makes me want to self-medicate.

I have known kids of friends and a boy I grew up with who both needed meds ( diet and other concepts werent going to change it) and were not taken care of.... that is cruel! Both recall hard childhoods filled with people that couldnt tollerate them and teachers who were flat unkind. Left feeling like they were bad all the time....

As some may or may not know, my son has ADHD. He has managed it for the last three years without the use of medication, which his mother and I have been happy about. However, after careful monitoring, we feel it is time to revisit this. A choice that has not come easy, nor does it sit well with us. We feel it is the best option at this point though. His grades are slipping, even though he is brilliant. He has gotten suspended numerous times over things that if he just took the time to think, he would have made a better decision.


Well, my mother has a "no drug" view on life. So much so that she refuses to take the medications her doctor says she needs, and she and everyone around her suffer accordingly. Over the last few weeks, she has been on my case daily to NOT consider medication as an option. I listened to her, and took her feelings into consideration. I read every piece of anti medication literature she gave me (I have done plenty of research on my own as a responsible parent, but she somehow thinks we just haphazardly say MEDICATE HIM).

She fails to accept that he is OUR son and we are going to make the decisions we feel are best at the time. My father continues to tell her that she needs to understand that.

Well, after telling her that we plan on trying the medication again, she told me that as of today she no longer has a son and is disowning me because I refuse to listen to her and agree with turning my son into a "zombie". She has moments of suicidal tendencies and of course spoke of not seeing us again because she feels like dying. All this after I told her this morning that I am in love and she cried tears of joy.

I just don't understand how she can not respect the fact that I am his father, his mother is his mother and we are going to parent the best way we know how.

It's unspeakably difficult to have a parent who requires care that they refuse to get. I know that first hand. It's so tough to be torn between loving and honoring your parent, and standing up for your own decisions and your right to run your life and your family as an adult. For that I feel for you, Jersey.

That being said, you know that she is speaking to you from her own fears and her own limited perception. The things she is saying are in no way based on whether you are doing the right thing (you are, in so many ways) or even how she truly feels about you. She loves you more than anything, and as you know, with the strongest love sometimes comes the most irrational reactions. Try to remember that when it hurts.

You have my undying admiration.

are you or your son consuming Fluoride (in toothpaste or water?) if so, stop. Hope everything works out.

As some may or may not know, my son has ADHD. He has managed it for the last three years without the use of medication, which his mother and I have been happy about. However, after careful monitoring, we feel it is time to revisit this. A choice that has not come easy, nor does it sit well with us. We feel it is the best option at this point though. His grades are slipping, even though he is brilliant. He has gotten suspended numerous times over things that if he just took the time to think, he would have made a better decision.


Well, my mother has a "no drug" view on life. So much so that she refuses to take the medications her doctor says she needs, and she and everyone around her suffer accordingly. Over the last few weeks, she has been on my case daily to NOT consider medication as an option. I listened to her, and took her feelings into consideration. I read every piece of anti medication literature she gave me (I have done plenty of research on my own as a responsible parent, but she somehow thinks we just haphazardly say MEDICATE HIM).

She fails to accept that he is OUR son and we are going to make the decisions we feel are best at the time. My father continues to tell her that she needs to understand that.

Well, after telling her that we plan on trying the medication again, she told me that as of today she no longer has a son and is disowning me because I refuse to listen to her and agree with turning my son into a "zombie". She has moments of suicidal tendencies and of course spoke of not seeing us again because she feels like dying. All this after I told her this morning that I am in love and she cried tears of joy.

I just don't understand how she can not respect the fact that I am his father, his mother is his mother and we are going to parent the best way we know how.

lilgish said:

I'm sorry, but that is just slightly alarmist clap-trap. Yes excessive amounts of fluoride will cause problems, but use no fluoride at all and your teeth will fall out! May I direct you here for the most informed info:

http://www.who.org

mrdespues said:

jerseykrs can check out the info for his self. One has to treat their children, but can also wonder why adhd and the like is on the rise.