I'm in a really down mood right now and I think some jokes will help...shoot, they'll help us all. Who's got jokes...who's gottem!

Why wouldn't the lesbian wear makeup when she ate dinner?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i unno...why wouldn't she?

BobGeorge909 said:

She found it impossible to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on her face

The airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc.

Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."


Ed sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"


When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Ed, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit."

"It's The Box Office."

SammiJ said:

bud-um :cymbal crash:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

gotta luv the lesbos

Sammi!

BobGeorge909 said:

i knew u got a chuckle out of it

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheelchair?

~__~

BobGeorge909 said:

You really do

What do lesbian horses eat?

FruitToAttractBears said:

not ballin'...i unno...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

obviously not hay...

BobGeorge909 said:

Mare pie

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

sounds tasty....in a peverse way...

BobGeorge909 said:

Rolaids!

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

FruitToAttractBears said:

regretfully laughing...is there an emoticon for that?

FruitToAttractBears said:

...u got me...i unnno..

BobGeorge909 said:

See you again same time next month!

BobGeorge909 said:

That work?

FruitToAttractBears said:

...NOT funny!

BobGeorge909 said:

Oh but it is

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to
The woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
" Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every
Shape, size, color and material
Imaginable.
"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types
Of bras to choose from ."
Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:
There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the
Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple..
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

SammiJ said:

I suppose U're catholic?....



I out y'all...thanx 4 the jokes...someone else wants to use the computer....




c y'all 2morrow...maybe...

have a good night


The Gay Flight Attendant

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight
attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food
and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
announced to the passengers:

"Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing this big
scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up,
that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather exotic
looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to
raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said:

"In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat:

"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, Bitch."

guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first
football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and
all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were
killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the res t of
the game, all they kept screaming was: ''Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback! I'm like...HELLOOOO? It's only 25 cents."

BobGeorge909 said:

Yep, it's funny,
but the Olson twins are anorexic sisters, not lezbos.
Fine line, I know, but still....

BobGeorge909 said:

Here's a joke for ya:

A man boarded an airplane in Sydney, Australia, with a box of crabs.

A female crew member took it and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did.

Shortly before landing, she couldn't remember who gave her the package, so she announced to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in Sydney please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up.

So she took them home and ate them herself !

Hope you feel better.

psychodelicide said:

crabs...never had 'em, never will...