In Sheila E's song "Toy Box",she seems to be implying that only girls can masturbate...

"Sister's got a place she goes whenever she's lonely,it's so much fun...Brother cries whenever he's lonely and he's lonely cuz he hasn't one..."

IceNine said:

I sure hope they do...talk about discouraging if you had to cut yourself off: "sorry Harry, can't do it-we're married to the Thong'd One and i have to leave you alone".

---
Aaron said: "Now, im not talking a handjob...more of an oral trick he had mastered...well, the idiot ended up wreaking his car..."
---

-BTW, i used to be able to 'reach' back in high school, no joke. I was a wrestler for about 5 yrs and was very flexible. Couldn't finish though-if you know what i mean- but i think i could now IF i could get down there. Kills your back, so don't try it at home kids, and how this guy could do it driving is beyond me.

Wonder twin powers activate...shape of a "C"!! Wa ha!

God the things i tell you guys.

3 times a day...and that's my limit!

Nope...I won't listen 2 u..I simply refuse 2 do more than that.

Christopher said:

Liar.

DavidEye said:

yeah...i was soo shocked at his stupidity that I didnt think of asking how long he was successful at it..

my shoulder hurts...
No Pain...No Gain!!!

I seem to be suffering from a bout of abstemious masturbation at the moment.

Although I did knock one out in the loo at work today.

It's hot to masturbate in front of/for your partner...

AnotherLoverHolenYoHead said:

I DO THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!

It is not only hot, it is mandatory.

SkletonKee said:

I guess size ISN'T everything!!

IceNine said:

I'm not surprised you do, Big Boy

I don't have too...too maNY WOMEN FOR THAT...

IceNine said:

Preach it brother!

thechronic said:

theC
But can't find love...tisk..tisk...

A cautionary tale for all self abusers on the Org:

The following concerns an article in "Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality" - July 1991, written by Dr. William A. Morton, Jr.

To paraphrase the first part of the article:

One morning, I was called to the Emergency Room by the head ER Nurse. She directed me to a patient who refused to see anyone except "A man doctor who took care of men's troubles." After asking the nurse to leave, he removed his trousers and about three yards of foul smelling guaze from his scrotum, which was swollen to TWICE the size of a grapefruit and very tender and angry looking, with a jagged, zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood. The patient admitted that he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. After surgery to remove the 8 rusty, one-inch staples and an uneventful convalescence he confided the rest of his story to me as follows.

Quoting article:

"An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day as he was approaching orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air, landing a few feet away. Unaware he had lost his left testicle, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he had stapled the wound closed and resumed work. I can only assume he had abandoned this method of self-gratification."

From www.worldwidewank.com The site also offers valuable suggestions for those wishing to overcome this most shameful of habits. Next week: the dangers of not wearing underpants at all times.

So narcy, how are you recovering?

bkw said:

That is the gospel!!!

:LOL:

AnotherLover said

Actually, pretty well, considering. In the bed next to me was this guy, so I don't feel so bad (didn't he read the label - 'for external use only'??). Man, those guys that stick things up their own butts. I would never do that!!

A 39-year-old married white male lawyer presented with a self- inserted perfume bottle in his rectum that he was unable to remove using various objects, including a back scratcher. He had inserted this bottle on previous occasions. Edema of the rectum and sigmoid colon precluded the successful manual removal of the object in the emergency room. A pelvic x-ray film (Fig.1) showed the object to be lodged 12 cm proximal to the dentate line. The 3 by 17 cm object, "Impulse Body Spray," was removed manually after a spinal anesthetic. The patient was discharged on the second postoperative day. He refused psychologic counseling.

(again, www.worldwidewank.com)

Gnammmete all,




i need a vib!!!


:LOVE: :LOVE: :LOVE:

VAMPY

Nep2nes said:

alright miss 3 times a day!...thats alot...4reals tho' ill race you!...Go!


and 5 or 6 times a day maybe they need some A.D.D. meds.

narcotizedmind said:

LOLOLLL

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

The more the better I it.

Christopher said:

Masturbation race?

Isn't that called soggy biscuit?

DavidEye said:

"Dancing With My Mirror" Corey Hart

luv4u said:

theC
"Tamborine" Prince

narcotizedmind said:

They should labels on those machines that say 'Sandbelt not intended for masturbatory gratification'. BTW, i watched a recent Tonight Show with Leno doing 'Headlines'--where he pointed out a vacuum cleaner ad who's fine print read "Men, do not insert penis" !!

bkw said:

=== Not if u have pimples and r going through puberty...i'd consider it excessive for the ages on this website. if u need it THAT much, find a partner (one), and REALLY enjoy!

I think one of the moderators on here blows a wad every time he gets to lock or delete a thread.

Which might explain why so many perfectly fine threads get cut off.

Insecurities?
[This message was edited Wed Sep 11 4:49:14 PDT 2002 by Tom]