Do you ever feel like you are a total failure as a mom or dad?
My son had a routine vision screening at his daycare Friday. Well, the results were not great.

Well, they were not even good. Sooo, after crying in my bathroom for about 10 minutes. I am sitting at my computer tonight, filled with Budweiser Select, wondering why I did not notice that my boy's vision was poor.
Anyway, sometimes (rarely) these screenings tend to be inaccurate because of the kids' ages (my son will be 4 in May). I am hoping this is the case.
I love my son. This is the only child I will ever have (seriously). Anyway, I am being a whiney baby. Boo Hoo... glug glug glugg.....booo hoo hooooo glug glug glug. I love my son....and beer.

Not noticing ure sons vision does not make u a bad parent hon....I never knew my son was dyslexic until he was in second grade. When kids are young we tend not to always pick up on the little things so relax and put the beer down. Im sure u are a terrific parent and give that little boy all the love he needs and at the end of the day that's what counts, besides he is still very young and usually it takes the professionals to pick up on those things. Give ure son a hug and know that we are never perfect...but we are perfect in our own way and our children love us unconditionaly.

I have three kids and I feel like a failure all the time. Then, I look at how some other people raise their kids and I become Mother Theresa.


Always, don't worry so much about it. No one has the parenting thing down perfect.

I am sometimes filled with the darkest anxiety when I consider what I have done and what the future holds. I kid you not.

At other times, I just let Lucy put her used bib on my head and we both laugh hilariously!

I admire you and all the parents on the org. I wish I had a child of my own.

M

2the9s said:

sometimes I wish he was an infant again. It was easier for me then to be his mother then. But now he has his own personality. he is an opinionated loud mouth, like his mama. And I am raising this little man all by myself. I taught him how to pee standing up by myself, ( a fact that I am very proud of.....oh my God I am crying right now). His dad is dead and even though he betrayed me I wish he was alive so I wouldn't have to be mom and dad to this boy all alone. I keep feeling like I am not doing everything I am supposed to do. Now this vision thing has really got me worried. But I am just hoping that he'll be fine. He's a smart boy. I do not want to screw this kid up.
[Edited 1/30/07 18:15pm]

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

I hear ya!!!

Much love and respect to all parents.

2the9s said:

Just love her and be thankful for the blessing you were given.
I have no doubt that you are a great dad.

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Amen...my hat's off to you all
My Italian grandmother had 14 kids and my mom had six of us...I really don't know how they did it.

I would think a lot of vision and auditory problems are realized in school. We had vision tests in grade school way back in the 60's. If there is a problem thank god it's diagnosed early and can be corrected. Otherwise, your child would struggle and not learn at his capacity. Don't feel remorseful. See what can be done to diagnose it and treat it.

are you an eye doctor? no!
is your son old enough to vocalize that sometimes things look blurry?? no!
that's why they check stuff like that through school!

don't be so hard on yourself. you sound like a fantastic mommy

alwayslate said:

The fact that you are worried about 'screwing him up' indicates to me that you won't. Like emm pointed out you are not an optomitrist (are you?) so why would you necessarily notice? I had to get glasses when I was in 3rd grade...my parents didn't notice my poor eyesight. I would think most parents wouldn't notice (unless they are optomitrists). I think you are being way too hard on yourself, I'm sure you are doing just fine.

when a baby is born, it should come with an operating manual, with regular up dates!
this is what i thought when my son was born,8 years later, i still think the same!

i have found that being a parent is like being on a never ending rollercoaster, with many ups and downs. its one big learning curve.

as others have said, picking up vision problems can b very hard. kids adapt very easily, and often these things are not picked up until they start school, when they r in a different enviroment to home, (the place they have spent the most of there lives in, and therefore adapt to change more readily in). how could you have known if a problem exsisted b 4, unless you r a trained eye doctor/g.p. etc

be kind 2your self, parenting can b hard on 2 parents, and u r doing it all by yourself!

b proud of your achievements (i couldnt toilet train my son, i had 2 get his dad 2 do it). you sound like a great mum, dont beat yourself up.

heres to your future on that rollercoaster thats life, may it have be full of ups.
(one for you)
(and one to give to your son)
[Edited 1/31/07 3:13am]

I always ALWAYS feel like I have no business guiding two children in this world. I fuck up all the time.


But I also love them with all my heart, so I try to focus on that and just hope for the best.

Don't sweat it, none of us are the Huxtables.

jerseykrs said:

co-sign (1 kid in my case,not 2)

wow, well said! (is it 2 late 2 re-edit my post?)

jerseykrs said:

Your a great dad....

The kids always look happy and well cared for when you photowhore them here

alwayslate said:

.. Always...cheer up ! You are definitely not a bad parent!! Not at all. Matter of fact you sound like a wonderful mother. Children's eye sight changes continuously as they grow. Like some of the others have said before, feel blessed that your daycare takes the time to exam the little ones, this is actually an added benefit for you and your little one. Raising children is one of the most difficult challenges a person has to do. There will be many a time you will feel like you should have "caught" something that should seem obvious. Don't beat yourself up over such things...EVER. Just as our children are growing and learning, every day is a learning experience for parents as well. Unfortunately children don't come with a instruction manual, and even if they did, it would only be based on one persons child, not the many different scenarios that each of us face. No 2 children are alike ( well except maybe twins), they grow, learn, change at different paces. All we can do is love them the best we can, show them things we know, and in the end hope that we have done what we feel in our hearts is the right thing.

alwayslate said:

OMG, yeah, like every single night after I put them to bed. I lay there and think, did I do this right? Why was I so hard about that? Why didn't I just do this?

We all feel that way. Parenting is like thee most difficult and one of thee most important jobs. But your worried so it shows you care.

And OMG, how is it YOUR fault about the vision.

Sorry about it though.

jone70 said:

amen! i was seven before anyone noticed how blind i was. seriously, i have horrible eyesight. my daughter is four, and knowing how bad my eyesight was/is is the reason i took her to the optometrist when she was a baby. otherwise i wouldn't have done anything. but ya know what? the doc told me that yes, she will need glasses but there wasn't really anything to do about it yet anyway. so, it might have been that even if you had taken him somewhere to check it out they would have told you to just wait til now anyway.

and i feel like a failure everyday too. like SureThing said, i will go over everything that happened in the day and think "did i react the right way? maybe i was too hard on her? maybe i should have given in b/c it wasn't that big a deal? maybe i shouldn't have given in and stood my ground?" the fact that you are worried about this shows how much you love him. so just keep loving him and things will be fine.

and i'm raising my daughter on my own too. i know how hard it is to be the mommy and the daddy.

emm said:

realized i am not a parent so i should shut the up


but you still sound like a fantastic mommy

emm said:

Let's change all that.

If it was one of those vision tests where they stand away from a pic and cover one eye and so on and so on he may not have a problem he is four and probably did not want to do what the person wanted him to do. Those tests are bogus for young kids. You are a great parent cause you give a damb. there is a more definative test for kids you can request from an opthamologist.
[Edited 1/31/07 9:57am]

retina said:

even though i put all that weight back on?


ahhh i won't even give you the option

emm said:

Cute.

emm said:

I don't mind the weight at all. I want a woman, not a girl.

One time, when my daughter was 11 months old, I was driving home from the supermarket and I noticed she had gone really quiet. Usually she would babble away or just scream for the whole journey. Anyway, instead of checking she was okay, I just enjoyed the quiet!

It wasn't until I got home that The Wife said "Where's our daughter? That's a melon, you fucking idiot!" Oops!

You've got to laugh!

fathermcmeekle said:

Or maybe you don't!