NDRU said:

So you think that once you've been truly depressed you'll be a "sober depressoholic" at best, for the rest of your life? That's really disheartening if that's true. I used to be able to go through very rough times without "falling off the wagon" as you call it, but these days my skin is much thinner. I'd like to think and hope that it's possible to get back to that former state of having a relatively high "default level", if you know what I mean. I haven't achieved that yet though, so maybe you're right.

UCantHavaDaMango said:

Aw..thanx rani!
I know EXACTLY what you mean. My love has almost all the same problems I do except the eatting disorder and it gets really tough sometimes but we just chill out and try to be there for eatchother and help as much as we can. But its alot better cause we are both doing alot better. But we still have our days. 2 unstable people in a relationship isnt always so easy, but we have love so we rock it. =]]

hisfan4ever said:

I'm not upset at all, I was just SureThing.

XxKristinaxX said:

That's wonderful to hear.

XxKristinaxX said:

Yeah, instability can definitely get in the way of growth in a relationship. My man and I are both musicians (he is a total BADASS on blues guitar! Seriously!) But, it's been 3.5 years, and we've only played a couple of gigs, and written a handful of songs together. It sucks when we think about how much music we should have made by now. All we can really do is look to the future, take baby steps in the right direction, and try not to beat ourselves up over lost time.

Oh, dear.

UCantHavaDaMango said:

WoW..that is awesome!! =] My boyfriend plays guitar but isnt really serious about pursuing music. He's going to college in the fall to be an art teacher, and i'm ALL about the music. I'm a singer but not really too sure where i'm going. And that makes us think alot..bout are we gonna make it or not since we're going in 2 different directions but we know we are madly in love so we have faith in that. And dont worry! Im sure those songs are just waiting to come out...and they will at the right time! =]

XxKristinaxX said:

Aww...thanks! I'll definitely let you know when I post new recordings on my page.

I'm sure you and your man will find your way, even if that means going in different directions for a while. My hunny and I had a long distance relationship for 1.5 years, while I was in college, and now we're together again. It was very hard, but we kept in mind that school is temporary, and that there is life afterwards.

retina said:

I'm not really sure. It's just the belief I have for myself.

But it gets easier to stay sober as time goes by, and changing your lifestyle/surroundings helps avoid the pitfalls. I think plenty of recovering addicts can be challenged and not fall right into using--ie they develop "thick skin"

Similarly, once you admit your depression, recognize the triggers, and try to avoid them in your life I don't think you need to be depressed, even when you are challenged.

I do think you can get to that high default level you speak of.

INSATIABLE said:

That sounded quote rude, by the way. I'm sorry.

INSATIABLE said:

lol...tottally fine

XxKristinaxX said:

Were you actually diagnosed with bipolar? Or are you just treated for those symptoms?

Just curious. I've known people who have suffered from the extremes of bipolar disorder. It's not easy to live with, for you or those around you. But it's also manageable through medication.

Good luck.

2the9s said:

Well I'm treated for those symtoms and they say I'm bipolar...but they said they still are trying to figure out my whole system..if that makes any sense..lol.

retina said:

I don't think I would even know what it felt like enough to recognize it if I were able to truly pull out and not fall back down now and again.

XxKristinaxX said:

Yeah, it does make sense. I think doctors generally don't want to offer a diagnosis for something like that so quickly, especially since "mental illness" is very often an array of symptoms, some of which manifest themselves over time.

Good for you for being willing to put it out there, btw. It's better than suffering in silence.

So sorry to hear about what you are going through right now. I have suffered with depression in the past.
I hope you find the help you need.

Lots of love and peace to you

retina said:

you apparently need to exercise a lot and eat bananas (probably a whole heap of other things too, I should look it up in my Food Doctor book) to get your brain chemicals up to a consistent balanced level - and that is just the physical side of it.
Emotionally, I guess do things that make you feel good, talk to people, make something that you are proud of. I think you can get up to quite a high default if you can do those things.
I know this sounds daft, but they say smiling makes you happier - probably because people respond in a warmer, more positive way and that is like sunshine for your soul.

ZombieKitten said:

Yes, smiling and doing what you enjoy can definitely restore brain chemicals. It's one of the few good pieces of advice I got from my doctor.

Seratonin is your brain's natural response to stress, so if you are constantly stressing yourself out, or dwelling on misery, you body is constantly being depleted of the feel-good seratonin in order to compensate.

The more you feel good by yourself, the less you need to rely on your brain chemicals to get you through. That can help you to get to that higher default level, making it easier to respond to stressful situations.

and bananas, avocados, sour cream, sunshine...good stuff

If it weren't for my daily cocktail of anti-depressants, I'd be too shy to even crank my own dick.

NDRU said:

did your doc mention exercise too? avocadoes

If you're really mentally ill having music as a career prospect isn't the wisest thing. People who make it in the music business and seem overtly weird are just overtly weird, that's not the same thing as having a mental disorder. Anti-social, depressed individuals who have psychotic symptoms are an easy target for the exploitative nature of the society as whole and cutting yourself off completely from the social order (i.e. seeking out an alternative way to survive, such as pursuing a "career" in pop music) is usually not going to work for them. They'll end up failing in their efforts because they don't have the strength to operate within a market that is still driven by capitalist ideology, and frankly speaking most aren't capable of being too realistic about their aspirations either.

XxKristinaxX said:

Hi Kristina

first, a big coz it's very brave of you to start this thread... second, although I've been told I probably don't I wouldn't be surprised if I'm bipolar myself or at least something quite similar. If you need to talk to anyone please feel free to orgnote me any time ok? I won't know what you're going through (same as ANYONE else won't really know what you're going through) but I'm a good listener


take very good care of yourself

retina said:

retina said:

whew...I thought I was gonna lose an eye on that one..lol

CarrieMpls said:

Well, I don't mean that you wouldn't ever fall back down again. I just mean that you would have a better platform to stand on, that you could return to that after each fall. As it is now, I fall all the way to the bottom as soon as there aren't strings that keep me hovering in the air where the platform ought to be.

INSATIABLE said:

HA!

I love you but you're a retard.

NDRU said:

Thank you both for caring and trying to help.

All of it good advice, except for the part about using smiles as a cause instead of an effect. It just doesn't work like that for me at least.

.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Every once in awhile, I bust out Madonna's debut album, play "Borderline," and say to my husband, "Honey, she's singing my song!!"

Pffft. I've been diagnosed with two different personality disorders. Beat that.