Y'all are a weird bunch...

I don't mind talking on the phone at all. It's much closer to real communication than what we're doing on here. In fact, I've never gotten used to internet communication, not even e-mail. It makes me depressed after a while and then I have to take a break from it completely. That never happens to me with voice or face-to-face interaction.

I'm horrible at this. It's not even on purpose. I just get busy, forget, blah blah blah.

retina said:

i know you'll be shocked to know this, but my feelings are exactly the opposite.

i think what we're doing on here is far closer to honest communication than what someone would get from me on the phone. why? because i have the time to figure out exactly what i want to say before i put it on the screen. this is what i mean to say, not what i'm forcing myself to say because otherwise the person on the other end of the phone is holding a chunk of plastic full of dead air to their ear and getting annoyed.

face to face communication is the best. that's where i'm happiest and most relaxed. i like reading body language and expression. that helps me communicate with someone a LOT. if that's not available, i'd just as soon take my time writing out how i feel than to deal with the phone, unless i just have to. and i realize people i care about are phone people. i just deal with it.

Oh God.

If I say

'Lemme call ya back'

It means I'm never callin ya back.

Pretty much everyone who knows me knows this.

Anx said:

Agreed. Save for the face-to-face bit. Other than my closest friends and family, my heart races to dangerous speeds when I have to be social in a "physical" setting. It's absolutely absurd, inconvenient, and unexplainable.

Anx said:

Interesting that you chose the word "honest" there, since I'd say honesty usually comes with a spontaneous response rather than the kind of well-planned, deliberate communication we conduct here. I don't know how many times I've stopped myself from spewing out the reaction I honestly had to some posts, and instead posted something more controlled. I wouldn't necessarily call it dishonest, but it sure isn't very honest either, and definitely nowhere close to as honest as a completely spontaneous response would be.

What I wanted to say with my post had nothing to do with honesty or lack thereof though, but rather with how this type of communication makes me feel. I wish it made me feel good since it enables me to connect with people far away, but I must admit that it's just so artifical that it makes me depressed. I shouldn't even be here right now, especially considering that I'm feeling really low lately.



Agreed.


grammar edit
[Edited 1/30/07 12:16pm]

jerseykrs said:

So we've heard.

retina said:

i'm not of the "first thought = best thought" school.

Anx said:

Me neither, but the first thought is usually more honest than the second or third thought, that's all I was saying.

evenstar3 said:

retina said:

you know what is weird, I seem pretty happy to talk for hours on the phone to people I have never met.

If it's just an acquaintance, then I am really horrible at calling people back. I'm just forgetful.

jerseykrs said:

same here

retina said:

i guess i'm more interested in being understood than in being candid. probably a personality flaw on my part, but it's one that i embrace.

Anx said:

I'm the same.

And I'm not sure I agree that first thoughts and gut reactions are any "more" honest. I think there's something to be said for being deliberate and well-planned out. Just because you take an extra second or two to put the thoughts together and make careful choices on word selection, tone and style doesn't mean it's any less sincere or genuine. Just that you appreciate thoughtful communication.








~Anx's #1 fan~

CarrieMpls said:

well, it's good to know i'm not a TOTAL antisocial freak.

years ago i dated someone who LOVED to argue. i'm not a big arguer. i'm more about finding the common ground and shutting the hell up. anyway, he'd goad me into these arguments, and i'd just sit silently until i could form exactly what my argument to be. this would piss him off to no end. he'd yell "SAY SOMETHING!!!!" at me and i'd yell back "WAIT FOR IT!!!"

maybe it's the writer in me that makes me like this. if i'm totally comfortable, i can ramble about silly stuff without thinking too much about it. but i consider that just bullshitting around.

Anx said:

Even when I'm talking to someone about random BS sometimes I pause for just a few seconds, just to make sure it comes out the way I want it to.
And I'm BIG on the pauses in difficult discussions or arguments. I always need to make sure I'm saying it exactly the way I want to say it.
Typing or writing affords even more opportunity to fine tune.

CarrieMpls said:

WTF is this ongoing dialouge with Anx and CarrieMPLS?!

Anx come home baby.

SureThing said:

call me!

SureThing said:

I've learned to stop being jealous of Anx and his elitist ways.

Imago said:

No you haven't!!!!

jerseykrs said:

Imago said:

Well, don't group me in with your shit.

Anx actually WANTS me.

SureThing said:

Only when he needs a friend to go shopping with him. Otherwise, he doesn't much care for your boring vagina.

Imago said:

Did he tell you that?

SureThing said:

no


I had to come up with ...erm... below-the-belt tactics.


We're so faming on Anx now that it makes me sick. He's turned brother-against-sister.

Imago said:

And like a typical straight man he's sittin back lovin it.

SureThing said:

Jerseykrs will go gay long before Anx goes straight.


Of course, that's kind of a given though.

Imago said:

when IMAGO compares and contrasts my sexuality with jersey's, it's time to break out an excel spreadsheet.

Anx said:

Hey, do you think I'm cuter than Dan?