I really hope you get through this.


M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Miggy. I'm fine now. I've had a drink. It;s okay. I just need to change my scenery.

My head is aching like my calf-muscles after a long walk. I'm just tired now. I'm not an insaniac ot anything.

you don't have to say you're fine. you aren't foolin any of us. you just aren't as low

i always wonder when someone who has seemingly managed to extricate themselves from the site suddenly returns back. obviously you needed whatever semblance of comfort this place affords. obviously those of us that are here every day need that same comfort.
fucked up as that may be.

advice is easy to give. it's harder to act on.
we can't do more for you than offer words of encouragement and be here to listen to you vent.
that is not insignificant but it doesn't get you out of the quick sand.

and the only way to do that is to reach out to those that can grab on to your hand.
be that family or someone that can guide you through the next step.
and we will be here ready to listen.

emm said:

That's sort of true. I never leave though, I just stay away for a while.

The last time was Steve Irwin's death. I stand by what I said then (even if it has been deleted).

Steve Irwin, dead or alive, was not a friend to animals. And everybody went off at me.

The alcohol has calmed me down, but I feel like I have a rock in my brain.

I'll never be right.

oh and be physical. body's natural release of endorphins... or is it seritonin?

whatever... it makes one feel better
and it will help shake the rock from your head

emm said:

Yeah, working out a ton is a huge part of what rescued my azz.

instead of getting fucked by life...it's time you do the fucking.

you have the ability to change your life for the better, if you'ld get your head out of your ass.

nothing...nothing is ever that bleak.

you do not have a terminal disease.
you have a roof over your head.
you have two arms and two legs and a brain.
you're doing better than many many people.

go out and change your life for the better.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

i had a bitch of a year last year, and it's true - when my head started to feel like a really dark and scary place, i hightailed it over to the gym and worked it out, and seriously - honestly - for real - it worked.

no matter how much like chapped ass i may feel, physically or mentally, if i can motivate myself to get to the gym, i ALWAYS feel better for it when i leave, and my head is always much more clear when i'm done. it doesn't solve my problems, but it helps me work out all the stress and poisons so i am able to use my brain to address the problems.

beyond that, i'm kinda down with what number23 and imago were on about in the beginning of this thread, though i also think the support of people on here is not for nothin'. but when you feel THAT down, there's nothing that can be said that can really pinpoint the pain and connect with what you're feeling. talk therapy is great, even if all you can do is talk to a friend or family member.

though for what it's worth, when i'm super extra uber depressed and overwhelmed, i TRY to remind myself that the present is not necessarily indicative of the future. it doesn't cheer me up to remember that, but it does put my situation in a little bit of perspective. i mean, i'm doing a HELL of a lot better right now than i was just a month ago. i may be in shitsville again tomorrow, but i'm at a place right this moment that i thought i may never get to again. right now is just a snapshot of your whole existence. it's not a freezeframe of everything you'll ever know from now to the end of your life. if that makes sense. which i hope it might.

Anx said:

Good thing to remind yourself of that from time to time. I know I need to keep telling myself that lately!!!

Reply to 'I Can't Carry On'

yes you can.

Shanti1 said:

yeah, i have to tell myself that too.

fantasyislander said:

we all do.....it is called life I suppose.

Shanti1 said:

yeah well, life sucks sometimes. it sucks big hairy donkey ass.

fantasyislander said:

well be thankful for your healthy daughter and your family.
Some of us do not have either.

Shanti1 said:

there are a lot of things some have that others don't. i am very grateful for my daughter, she is such a joy and love to me but sometimes even looking at her won't shake this.

fantasyislander said:

Sorry to hear that.

Shanti1 said:

Yep. Sometimes the most comforting thing in the world is to remember that time marches on and nothing ever stays the same.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Yep

Number23 said:

But you do banter, which means you more often banter with...?

HereToRockYourWorld said:

True. Even in the lowest low there must be some respite due to time marching on and things constantly changing, as you said. I don't know, but I think it's a matter of just doing whatever it takes to keep going and then during a slightly better spell making some decisions to change aspects of your life. That's how I've dealt with things in the past. Sometimes I've been incapable of anything so I waited until a time came that I could and in the meantime done my best to eat, drink and sleep and just survive until then.

For Justin? It's only an emoticon, but it's sincere. It is what it is, and yes isn't the answer to everything, but I don't think they hurt. Most people are sincere here and like me hope you can weather this and make your situation better. Just do your best to take care of yourself and keep going.

Justin1972UK said:

Glad to hear it!!

I've had my days too and it's just a one day at a time thing.

M
[Edited 1/28/07 22:37pm]

Justin I know we've disagreed in the past but I wish you well and that you find that light at the end of the tunnel as soon as possible I agree with what many have said here - that none of us unfortunately can give you any REAL comfort only words, however what's behind them is very real

be well

Justin-


I hope you are feeling at least a little better today.
Like MIGUELGOMEZ said- it is a one day at a time thing.

Anx said:

Justin, I think that Anx is pretty much on the money here. I hope you're feeling a bit less low today. But please, do yourself a favour and make an appointment with the doctor and ask them to arrange some therapy for you. If you tell them how you are feeling they may well recommend anti-depressants and counselling. The therapy will be free and, bloody hell, it may well change your view on your life.

Justin1972UK said:

YOu can run, but you cannot hide. You will bring the problem with you and therefor will not be able to start over, cuz you will run into the same problems.

OFten, thesekinds of problems are caused by something inside of you that you are afraid to deal with.

I suggest, look into yourself and look what you can set right.

You may not think it, but you can take control of your life and change it. It's a huge step but if you're trapped, you may have to. It will change the way you feel and think. It's the best thing I ever did.

PreacherMan said:

I think a change is needed in his way of thinking and looking at himself, to be able to take control. It is all very closely related.

I mean, sometimes a change is indeed good, Justin, to re-awaken stuff that seems dull and to drag you down, but never forget you need to change the way you think to be able to put it right. Or make it better.

Or bearable. Change does not come in one step; you need to make many and will stumble alot along the way.

And Justin, you also mention your friends. I kind of had the same shit going on as well. But it meant my own depression and darkness dragged my friends down; I was only able to see the negative side of things and could only bemoan myself.

I wore out my best friends' patience and they kinda let me go; they could only help me up to a certain degree. At first I was not able to pick myself up, but that is what I needed. I did need the support of my loved ones, but I needed to do the work myself; I could not expect them to do the work for me.

Maybe that also applies to you; maybe you have radiated so much negative energy it was hard for your friends to handle. Again, this is part of being able to take a gooood, loooong look at yourself, trying to asses what is dragging and keeping you down.

In my case, I needed to perk up my own self-image; I loathed myself. Now, at least, I am able to love myself a lil' bit sometimes.

.

this helped me

What's it about?

Justin1972UK said:

This might be kind of a wierd time to do this but.....

I am in the process of creating one of those friends threads where you pledge your undying devotion and love to all your org friends and you made my list. I'll post yours early

JustinUK1972

You should really try and get over your ideas about being middle age and all that shit because I can't even look at your picture but for 3 seconds before I want to bang the living daylights out of you I have actually enjoyed becoming your friend. You say you don't remember, but for sure I was a real bitch to you. Maybe you're just surrounded by bitches, I don't know Either way, I really acted very viciously towards you about stupid shit but you liked me nonetheless

One of my best threadjacking moments happened in your thread:

http://www.prince.org/msg/100/186622

Thank you for not freaking out about it. You have to admit, we made your thread more exciting

You are one of the few here who have actually turned me into a Kylie Fan! Believe me, before you got to my head, I thought she was a damn joke but alas, she has some pretty amazing stuff out there. Glad you proved me wrong And I don't know what your obsession with Dynasty is but I LOVE IT! There is this drag queen at a bar I frequent who used to be a linebacker. A real linebacker in the NFL! Seriously! Well he dresses in the craziest ass outfits and his wigs are very Chrystal Carrington I always think of him as Crystal's evil twin And everytime I see him, you're with me in spirit and thought Can't wait to meet you oneday, hopefully in the not too distant future

.
[Edited 1/29/07 12:06pm]