When I see these sorts of posts I always want enviornment control to the sensitive side. Someones on the edge and dont want to see them pushed closer...


As I generally do, I feel the truth is somewhere in the middle of it all... You will get a wide swath of answers when you throw a thought into the ring but the balance is healthy. Perhaps the extremes cancel themselves out and then you have something you can utilize.

Sounds like my life.... I feel you my friend

Things will get better though....they will.

Agh, Justin. Do you have any alcohol?


May I have some? We can cry together.

Number23 said:

This is why I love you. Even though I did just post a hug emoticon.

We take love where we can find it though my friend.... and say what you will about the illusion of it all.... at times the illusion is better then nothing.

Justin, there is nothing I could say that would make you feel better. Reading your words truly hurt my heart. Being a person who has had bouts of depression for over 20 years now, all I can do is say I know how you feel. I can't do much from over 3,000 miles away but if you want to talk to someone, send me your number and I swear I will talk to you as long as you need or want to.

You are one of the very real reasons I never left the Org permanently. I love you Justin.

yeah, ok, i give up.


justin, you need help. not alcohol. if i were there i'd give you a hug in person. unfortunately i'm not so scorn me if you wish but this will have to do.

i'm a good listener if you need someone to talk to. orgnote me.

fantasyislander said:

for what it's worth... I think you are a very sincere person, and a sweet gal to boot.

Sweeny79 said:

i could almost feel that hug

and i needed it too.

alwayslate said:

I'm just tired of covering for myself. I've got no sense of time - an hour feels like ten minutes. A day feels like a few hours. Even though I'm upset, time isn't dragging. It's speeding up all the time. I don't think I need a shrink. I know what's wrong - everything. I just need a rest from it all.

Stymie said:

Seriously???

fantasyislander said:

If you're talking about me, I didn't scorn you. Again, why am I not allowed to disagree with you?

Unfortunately, there's nothing anyone can do to pick Justin up. We're all alone in this. Completely, utterly, wonderfully, beautifully, alone. He may find a Band-Aid here or in the bottle or who knows where else, but a will not end his pain.

It's unfortunate, eh? If you find a way to end the pain, hit me up.

INSATIABLE said:

you have every right to disagree with me. disagreements and differing opinions make this world interesting. maybe i'm just a little sensitive when someone is depressed to the point of hinting or considering suicide. suicidal thoughts and alcohol do not mix. dismissing comfort and encouragement from any source to someone who feels it's useless to carry on is a very stupid (IMO) thing to do.

Sweeny79 said:

I wish your love wasn't an illusion.

I think everyone has felt what you are feeling at one time or another. It's huge, emotionally, that you have voiced your emotions on this website. You are to be commended for reaching out for help.

I'm 41, and have had bouts with success and failure, happiness and depression... I've gone to therapy, that helped. I've self medicated, that helped for awhile, but really - friendship, family, talking to people, getting up and getting out are the only things that will keep you from lying on your couch thinking that you're alone because two people called you in a week or that you have no money.

You should call people... don't wait for them to call you. You can get up and go to the park, sit on a park bench, watch the children play at the playground, read a book, etc...

Life is what you make it. Just reach out... someone will be there.

Justin1972UK said:

Absolutely!!! You were on my side once when nobody else here was. Everytime I see your name online, it makes me smile. You are very good people, Justin and you deserve to be happy.

My life everyday is a struggle: whether it is my job, my disabled son or my family problems. I feel like giving up almost everyday but I don't. I get up everyday and brush myself off to try again. Why? Because I know I will find the happiness and peace I deserve. I can't make you want that for yourself. My wish for you is for you to be able to look at each day as another chance and to put whatever you feel is a past failure as that: the past.

I know it is some people's thing to shit on those who put their personal business on the internet but I would rather know that there are people out there who know the hell we go through. It's not just words on a screen to me. I hope you know I mean everything I say.

fantasyislander said:

Y'know what? Sometimes alcohol is the only thing standing between myself and the relief of what's under the Golden Gate Bridge. How about you let it be, sweetheart? Just give me freedom of speech and be nice?

June7 said:

Not in modern day Britain, sir. It's paedogeddon! If you so much as make eye contact with a child on a bus journey, it's 20 years of bread, water and daily beatings. And quite right too, castrate these sick pediatricians.

June7 said:

totally agree with everything written here. but i'm wondering if it will help. what i mean is, for someone who is seriously depressed (as in, chemical imbalance in their brain) at times it seems absolutely impossible to actually get out and do something. when my sister was going through her serious depression (which she's not out of, btw) it was impossible for her at times to get up on her own, to get dressed, to get out of the house and do something. if things are that serious for you, i think it's a good sign that you're posting here. but if that is all you can manage to do then seriously, ask for help here. if you need someone to make the call for you, if it's that serious, then give me whatever info i need to find a doctor near where you live and i'll call and make an appointment for you. give me the number to a friend or family member near you and i'll tell them they need to make sure you actually get up and go to the appointment.

Stymie said:

No, Muffin, it's not just words. You can just tell. I've heard your voice on your answer-machine and you are you. Even before I heard your voice, I knew that you were real.

To everybody else - panic over.

I opened some Irish Whiskey and I'm calm again.

INSATIABLE said:

sorry to hear that. guess we just view things differently. free speech live on.

Justin1972UK said:

Like I said in the orgnote--do what you have to do to continue existing. If it were as easy as seeing a doctor, we'd all be "balanced". Life's not all sunshine and movies. Love you, and you have my number. Call me collect if you must. Money's nothing.

Justin1972UK said:

glad i was wrong about the alcohol! and glad that the panic is over.

Stymie said:

Both of you are awesome- thanks for sharing! we all need to remember and think about the things that have been written.
Orgnote to Justin
Some things are too private to speak about here.




[Edited 1/28/07 14:42pm]

the answer.....


Heads up!
[Edited 1/28/07 14:41pm]

June7 said:

What do you do when it's the people around you whom make you feel crazy?

I'm a bit drunk now - better hungover than dead I s'pose. But I still have that thing in my mind. It's fading.

abierman said:

I am so afraid of flying but I remember looking out the window on the way to Vegas and that magnificent view.

Stymie said:

That place is magical, it made me overthink lots of stuff happening in my life.....it helped me seperate the petty bullshit from the crucial matters.....everyone should go while they can!

Blech. Been there, and I'm sorry.

Do whatever you gotta do for yourself, you know? Ya got one life. . . nobody should have to go through it feeling like that.

Number23 said:

Spoeaking of cheerios....who pissed in yours?

Be nice, if there's anyone who understands depression, it's me.

You know I love you to death, but there's nothing wrong with people well wishing others, is there?

abierman said:

It sure is. I went there when I was 16- (long time ago ) It was magical.
In Sept 2001 I saw the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. It was nothing compared to the real thing but Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons in Wyoming hold the same sort of magical powers over you when you are physically there.
Breathtaking!!!!

Seeing that pic makes me want to go back to the Grand Canyon now that I am older and wiser and can appreciate it more. Though at the time I did do a lot of writing and it was very cleansing for me.