applekisses said:

Rite.

What do you mean you weren't athletic enough? Like you weren't into sports?

SureThing said:

I guess... But, his daughters were both very petite and thin (which I am not ) and played organized sports. I work out, but I don't play on any teams or anything. Maybe it was his way of saying he thought I was fat, I'm not sure.

applekisses said:

Thats weird. How old are you?

WTF sports did he want you to play? It's not like this was in highschool was it?

What a weirdo.

applekisses said:

I think most people just don't understand how much negative comments about the way somebody looks hurt . I keep hearing stupid comments about my skin being very light, though sometimes there are also comments of people who tell me how beautiful my skin is. It does hurt a lot, especially as these people seem to think that I could easily change it by just going outside and getting some tan . Just like skinny people tend to think that fat peole just need to eat a little bit less and will look like Paris Hilton. I think most people are just not happy with the way they look and by belittling others they feel somehow more beautiful themselves .

SureThing said:

I'm 35 and this was like two years ago
And I'll be damned if I would change anything about myself for that crazy mofo.

Serious said:

You're a sweet and sensitive girl

The other thing I have noticed is that people just can't seem to say anything about how one should try to be as healthy as possible and be at a good weight without being accused of saying that they think every woman should look like Paris Hilton. I have never, ever seen anyone on here say things like that and yet, I see comments like the Paris Hilton one thrown back at people all the time.

applekisses said:

Thank you, so are you

JustErin said:

Mhm.

I also agreed with when you said this:

The problem as I see it is that there are many people who think that it's not ok to make fun of one thing and yet it's ok to ridicule someone about something else they either don't agree with or don't like.

I was waiting to see the responses to that, but there weren't any.

JustErin said:

Well, and this is just my perspective, I see that the same folks who are saying that people should be at a "good" weight don't see that those who are bigger than average can also be healthy...and it's a proven medical fact. I'm living proof of that...and so are many others here.

applekisses said:

Oh ya? Like who? Certainly not me.

I think people with a little extra weight can be very healthy and I have said that time and time again. People who carry a fair amount of extra weight around their bellies are not healthy due to the kind of fat that collects there. People who carry extra weight also put a lot of stress on their joints (but that's not really being unhealthy, I guess). Those are the medical facts.

That's all I have ever said, and yet, I am often lumped into the mean girl catagory...and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that the people who are doing the lumping think that I couldn't possibly understand where they are coming from, which could not be any farther from the truth.
[Edited 1/29/07 12:09pm]

JustErin said:

For the record, I didn't call anyone shitty, I said I wish I could treat people shittier. Uptown is one of the people I was referring to in the body of my post but I've seen him say such things about people when other fat threads come up and I tend to expect less from men.

As for the rest of this thread, I have never ever made fun of someone for their looks. Even if I ever had, it does not justify the bullshit that goes on here all the damn time.

Stymie said:

Ya, I know you didn't. I just didn't know how else to word what I was trying to say. I did want to say something to Uptowny about it because I thought that comment was pretty cruel, yet I didn't see anyone say anything about it directly.

JustErin said:

Yep...Dan (Imago), dreamfactory, UptownNY...those are some names off the top of my head. I know a few of us have gone around and around about it.

applekisses said:

I personally think that Dan is rather on point with what he says and I often say the same things he says.

Anyway, ok.

Again, Surething I agree with most of what you are saying.
People who work very hard to be in great shape should be rewarded--it's the right thing to do.

But I still think you're gonna get your ass skewered.


And as for JustErin, I agree with you too. Just becuase you think a fat person is not attractive, and you say so, doesn't make you a bad person--it just means you aren't attracted to fat people.

I mean, I'm not attracted to skinny girls anymore than I am to fat girls--and I'm not Hitler or anything.

Imago said:

What if you say this?

"Guys who say they dig fat girls, just can't get with a skinny girl."

or this...

"This morning I got into it with some rhino who tried to squezze into the seat next to me on the subway. I wasn't having it, then she got pissed off and mumbled something under her breath. That's when I went off."

i think it's people's perception of what fat is that has changed and become distorted. IMO size 11, or 12, or even 16 isn't fat, depending on the person who is wearing it. size 14 on a girl 5'1" would probably look fat, size 14 on someone 6'1" is a very different thing. (example, a friend i have who looks considerably more overweight than i do wears the same size skirt as me. i'm 6'1", she's 5'5")

and ffs, tyra still isn't what i consider "fat". she looks larger than she used to, yes. but big freakin deal. she's not fat.

Imago said:

I do remember a thread dreamfactory started about how no one could possibly think fat men were sexy and challenged anyone to find a celebrity that was overweight and attractive. That's a little fucking disrespectful.

Imago said:

I have zero issue with JustErin not being attracted to heavier people, that's groovy. It's her choice and her preference. More power to her. In nothing she has said, have I seen her straight out insult people. That is my only issue with some of the people in this thread.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning. I am a big girl but everything about me was normal: cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. And my doctor acted like he was shocked because my weight hasn't caused some health issue with me. Heavy people can be healthy. Now, even when I was 110 pounds, I never looked down at people who were heavier than me. It does not bother me when people are heavier or thinner than me. I will never for the life of me understand why this subject keeps coming up other than to make fun of the 'fatties'. Now, people can come from a place of concern or they can come from a place of being an asshole. I think a lot of it comes from wanting to see a reaction and I can't really think of anything more pathetic than that.

applekisses said:

THe first statement implies that people in general would rather date a skinny girl over a fat one----true. Very true. Maybe hurftul, maybe there are folks here who would disagree, but in general, that is true. Rock stars don't run out an find Rosie Odonell's to date you know.

As for the second one, it's rather mean spirited. But I've heard skinny wafish jokes told before too. Some fat female comedians even do very funny skits about it, to include ones who aren't really fat--Jeanine Garafalo or whatever her name is. It cuts both ways, though the thinner girls have the upper hand here, because most of them enjoy being skinny.

Imago said:

Oh Boyyyyy.

applekisses said:

That's not what I said.

Is said, that magazines aren't putting Drew Carey on the cover with his as opposed to Brad Pitt (or something to that respect).

What I meant is that it's natural for people in general (society) to want to see healthy people. And yes--society has a standard deviation for what is considered good looking and healthy--Fat is never in that definition. ever. That is why porn specifically singles out fat as "chubby chasing", etc. It's not classified in your normal definition of beauty. And I frankly don't understand why it should be.

SureThing said:

Am I wrong?

Imago said:

Yes, you are.

Imago said:

No, I totally agree. It's just that if I said it like that, I'd get 'my ass skewered'.

People seem to have more tolerance towards you though.

applekisses said:

nope. But the F@CK you that you orgnoted to me might be.

Imago said:

I don't think so.

Imago said:

THAT is 'calling someone out'.


Oh Lord.

Imago said:

i believe that you are wrong, and you aren't wrong at the same time. i don't think it can be said that men prefer to date skinnier women more than heavier women, but everyone believes that b/c thats what media shows. it gets more air time so it just perpetuates the myth. i think that if any kind of survey were actually done the numbers would be more equal than anyone thinks.

at least, i hope so!