Okay, I'm on a rampage again.

I don't like cheese. I can tolerate it on pizza, if it is a light amount, but nothing else. All kinds of cheese are equally evil in my eye. And whenever I order a hamburger or a chicken sandwich that involves cheese in anyway I always stress to the server "No cheese" like 50 times.

Of those 50 times, about 25 times the damn thing comes out with cheese anyway. And the server is always like , "Well, I wrote it down...guess they didn't read it." And then they just stare at me like I'm going to eat it anyway. And I ask them, "Could you please make me one with no cheese" and they smile and agree and take it back.

So, I'm assuming they are going to make me another sandwich, you know maybe give the defective one to the homeless or something, so I figure it will be a few minutes before they come back. But damn if 5 seconds later they are not out with the sandwich, sans the dreaded cow byproduct.

So my question is are they making me another sandwich and just damn speedy about it or are they just taking the cheese off. And if they are just taking the cheese off, how can they assure me there is no cheese juice on my sandwich. Are they not just giving me a sandwich haunted by the memory of lost cheese?

I'm on to the bastards.

You're all cheese fans, aren't you?

It's generally fresh smegma anyway.

GottaLetitgo said:

I hate to break it to you but they are probably spitting on it too, in revenge for you sending it back.

Haystack said:

I hate that word.. lol

2the9s said:

Oh dear God, that's why they are always wiping their mouths and smiling sheepishly.

I like cheese okay, but I hate the american cheese they put on hamburgers. I went to a fast food place recently, and said "no cheese." of course there was cheese on it, and I politely asked for one without.

They treated me like I was really asking for a favor, and when I got the second burger, there was a little piece of cheese hidden in the middle, like a "fuck you" from them. What if I was deathly allergic to dairy?

they were so offended I pointed out their mistake! I threw the thing away because I didn't know what else they might have done to it.

seriously. tell 'em you're lactose intolerant. if you get cheese on your burger thing or whatever, send it back. tell them you can't eat it because it will make you sick.

as a vegetarian, i have NO problem sending food back if i ordered something meat-free and i find meat in it. as far as i'm concerned, it's inedible. just that simple.

Anx said:

yep, in a decent restaurant. but as I pointed out, in a fast food place it's not so simple.

I guess, then, the best advice is "don't eat fast food"

NDRU said:

hell, i don't!

or if i do, i resign myself to what i could possibly be getting...which makes me end up changing my mind about 99% of the time.

GottaLetitgo said:

Anx said:

Next time, I'm going to feign lactose intolerance. I am just going to throw up or something. That will teach them.

GottaLetitgo said:

i think when you bring dietary restrictions into the conversation, the stakes become a little more, uhhh, litigious? and they take your requests a bit more seriously. which is dumb. they should just respect the fact that you don't want any damn cheese.

I don't think the "spitting in the hamburger" thing is as common as people fear. I've worked at several restaurants, and never saw anyone do that. I did see cooks drop NY Strip steaks on the floor, and wipe them off and serve them tho, LOL, because they didn't want to tell the manager or the server that they F'ed up and it was gonna take another 15min for a new one.

Any food you send back is supposed to be thrown away if the guest touched it or handled it. If they didn't touch it, they'll usually bring it in the back and the servers and cooks will pig out on it. If it's appetizers, sometimes they'll give it to the people sitting up at the bar and see if they want it (for free).

Years ago when I worked at A&W, this huge group of church people came in like 10 min before we were supposed to close, and ordered a shitload of stuff. We had to turn the grill back on and mess up the whole kitchen again to make it all. I drew pentagrams and 666's with the ketchup and mustard on all of their hamburgers, LOL.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

I say "with, uh, no cheese" The "uh" brings attention to the "no" If I just said "no cheese" it wouldn't work half the time.

NDRU said:

i can picture it now! "with -UGH! GOOD GOD!!- no cheese, please"

you don't like cheese?? omg, i'd hate to live in your world.



cheese.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

sounds like James Brown ordering a burger sometimes I stutter: "with no, no cheese." I know literally that means "with cheese" but it works.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

We should form a club! The Anti-Frommage Movement. Stop that bowel blocking menace in its tracks.

I love cheese, but I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a "cheese head". That might get me killed over here in Minnesota....especially if the Packers have a better record than the Vikings.

GottaLetitgo said:

viva la revolucion!

GottaLetitgo said:

so what are you trying to say?
[Edited 1/24/07 10:38am]

Not liking cheese is like admitting to racism, hating children and idolizing hitler.

I hate cheese.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Down with Kraft! They are not slices of cheese, they are slices of evil.

novabrkr said:

Um..can't I just not like cheese because it tastes like cardboard?

GottaLetitgo said:

neon-orange slices of cheese by-product.

I don't like cheese either too much.

Only is it's melted.

Cold cheese is gross.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

I know. When we were little thats all we got. Those slices, and I hated them.

But my friends always had the good stuff at there house. The deli cheese.

I couldn't wait till I grew up, so we could get regular white deli cheese.

Now we do.

It awesome.

Cooper Sharp.

But I still can't just eat it rite outta the fridge.
[Edited 1/24/07 10:39am]