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Thread started 01/22/07 1:44pm

MikeMatronik

The Best Resignation Ever! Hilarious!

Best resignation letter ever:
Dear Mr X,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you.....
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n.de. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.


Taken from: http://bash.org/?719376
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Reply #1 posted 01/22/07 2:34pm

santadomino

Hello Pal,
I advise to always create something urself,
no cut paste rubbish cos we ain't gone take it no more.
S
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Reply #2 posted 01/22/07 2:38pm

FuNkeNsteiN

avatar

falloff

[Edited 1/22/07 14:39pm]
It is not known why FuNkeNsteiN capitalizes his name as he does, though some speculate sunlight deficiency caused by the most pimpified white guy afro in Nordic history.

- Lammastide
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Reply #3 posted 01/22/07 2:39pm

FuNkeNsteiN

avatar

santadomino said:

Hello Pal,
I advise to always create something urself,
no cut paste rubbish cos we ain't gone take it no more.

whofarted
It is not known why FuNkeNsteiN capitalizes his name as he does, though some speculate sunlight deficiency caused by the most pimpified white guy afro in Nordic history.

- Lammastide
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Reply #4 posted 01/22/07 2:41pm

MikeMatronik

santadomino said:

Hello Pal,
I advise to always create something urself,
no cut paste rubbish cos we ain't gone take it no more.


Fellow orger.

If you had paid attention, I posted the link to the source of the so called letter. It's called a hyperlink.

If you don't have a sense of humour, I can advise you some good books on the subject.

Have a nice and joly day!

Miguel from fucking Portugal
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Reply #5 posted 01/22/07 2:44pm

FuNkeNsteiN

avatar

MikeMatronik said:

santadomino said:

Hello Pal,
I advise to always create something urself,
no cut paste rubbish cos we ain't gone take it no more.


Fellow orger.

If you had paid attention, I posted the link to the source of the so called letter. It's called a hyperlink.

If you don't have a sense of humour, I can advise you some good books on the subject.

Have a nice and joly day!

Miguel from fucking Portugal

clapping
It is not known why FuNkeNsteiN capitalizes his name as he does, though some speculate sunlight deficiency caused by the most pimpified white guy afro in Nordic history.

- Lammastide
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #6 posted 01/22/07 4:49pm

HereToRockYour
World

avatar

MikeMatronik said:

Best resignation letter ever:
Dear Mr X,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you.....
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n.de. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.


Taken from: http://bash.org/?719376
[Edited 1/22/07 13:44pm]



Gawd, that must have felt awesome. lol
oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1!
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Reply #7 posted 01/22/07 5:20pm

JustErin

avatar

santadomino said:

Hello Pal,
I advise to always create something urself,
no cut paste rubbish cos we ain't gone take it no more.


And I'd advise that you use proper sentences, spelling and grammar.
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Reply #8 posted 01/22/07 5:26pm

fantasyislande
r

avatar

santadomino said:

Hello Pal,
I advise to always create something urself,
no cut paste rubbish cos we ain't gone take it no more.


whofarted who peed in your cheerios?? it was funny. lighten the fuck up!





rolleyes
[Edited 1/22/07 17:27pm]
There is no perfect place
Yes I know this is true
I'm just learning how to smile
Thats not easy to do
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