Has anyone hot any prison stories they'd like to share.
Nevier been there myself, they're sometimes quite entertainin'
Is it really so bad, behind bars?

I didn't like it. Just the idea that I couldn't open the door and walk out was pretty freaky. Also there was a toilet in my cell, no walls around it and I had a cellmate. Many of your basic rights are gone and you're under the complete and total power of an extremely huge institutional force. Not fun.

Being crammed into the back of a windowless van with 15 other people in plastic handcuffs...not fun. Sitting in holding cells with no food for 12 hours...not fun.

I was illegally arrested walking around my neighborhood during the Rodney King riots. I became part of a class action lawsuit against the city and eventually won a little settlement money.

is was this one time when i was crammed in the hole for a contraband violation and they forgot to take out one of the hard lifers - i think his name was 'skullfuk', or at least that's what the tattoo on his groin said. anyway. so after we get the hose, we get talking about obscure firearms and of course the subject of germany comes up and i just mentioned in passing that i like to play the card game DUTCH BLITZ (because it's VUNDERFUL GOOT) and skullfuk is all, "GET OUTTA TOWN! I LOVE THAT GAME!" and we started talking about how cute the cards are designed, what with the little dutch boys and girls and the pretty little flower shapes and skully got a little misty-eyed (so i thought - it was kind of hard to tell with all the cold hosewater dripping off our naked shaking inked-up bodies) and said "i really miss sitting in a nice soft chair and cutting doilies - does that make me a big pussy?" - and what was i going to say to this man, who was at least 6'7" and had a head like a rhino - "why yes, mr. skullfuk, that is the most girly-ass thing i've ever heard!" so i cradled his large, lumpen, misshapen head in my lap and we talked about doilies until the sun came up (we could always tell because the rats in the wall would die down) and then he talked me through how to make a shiv out of a bic flair pen, which i thought was cool because i thought you could only do shivwork with a disposable toothbrush and a cheap lighter. i felt like we really connected in that hole. it was special times, sure.

other than that, no. i've never set foot in the clink.