heartbeatocean said:

EXACTLY!! My mother's been on my case lately to mary someone rich and start popping out the kids. She really wants the grandkids more than she wants me to marry a rich man.

Once, after the end of one of my relationships, she told me that she totally supported artificial insemination.

I thought that the whole getting a professional career and getting to know myself and to allow myself to grow as a person before bringing new life into this world actually meant something to her.

Sometimes it gets me down but I really want to be more stable before I start having children. Nothing distrupts a childhood more than instability and half crazy parents.

JasmineFire said:

That's exactly how I feel. My parents went through a divorce about ten years ago and after that my mom started championing single mothers, and suggesting I may just want to have kids on my own.

Yesterday, a friend who I hadn't heard from in forever sent me pictures of her newborn. I have to admit I felt a little jealous. Must be I'm getting old too.

I'm saying...


About 2 Decembers ago, I dreamt I was holding my baby daughter. And, I was sooo chill with it, it scared the dreaming me.

I was just a content little father, walking around with his daughter held against his chest.

JasmineFire said:

I got this email a while back that said there's never a "good time" to do something and people shouldn't wait to things in life because something else hasn't happened first, like waiting till you get to a certain point in your career before having childen, or waiting for whatever reason to take a trip you've been wanting to go on. It was a really great email

Ya know I set my mother straight from the start I told her that if she wanted grandhildren she would be getting them from my sister first who is now 20. She told me that she understood and was not really ready to be a grandmother. I am sorry that your mother is pressurng you like this but she needs to understand that it can not happen until you are ready and you are the only one who can decide when you are ready. I know this is easier said then done, but just be firm in what you want and let her know what you want out of life and when you want it to happen. Hope everything works out for you ok.

Janfriend said:

That's a personal choice. I think it's important to be able to support your kids.

heartbeatocean said:

Oh, I agree. I just thought that it was sending a message of: People may think they're not ready for something when they really are

Janfriend said:

I also am not interested in having a child without a partner. With my marginal income and ambitions, it never felt like a desireable or realistic option to have kids alone. Too stressful.

I agree with you about the travel thing though. I've taken a lot of risks in that category and now can say I've seen the world (at the expense of other things, but not a single regret).

Janfriend said:

i know that i'm pretty much at the point where the next step in my life will be getting married and having kids but i have no desire to do so while still in school and without gainful employment. So really, I'm not quite ready.

Your message is a good one, though.

Parents can give bad advice at times.

Last time I spoke to my dad about my relationship-problems, I mentioned the fact that I really wanted to have kids one day, and that I couldn't forget the idea that my boyfriend has to be the dad.

So he said...deadly serious...stop taking the pill, and become pregnant. He'll be there if he wants to, if not, you still have the child.

MarieLouise said:

...wow...

remember, soon you will be able to simply clone yourself, regardless of your age. tell your mom you plan to do just that. ease her mind a bit

Janfriend said:

I thought you were gonna say that you were adopted!