I think it's about time that I officially offer my advice-giving services.

Update: new-and-improved! This will be a weekly feature, with Handclaps and I alternating as your Org Advice Giver. Badass.

Sag said my old desk was ugly, so I got a better one:



Though this is a more accurate depiction of my writing situation:




Ok! I'm ready. I give good advice. Ask me anything. I can give advice about sex, work, relationships, fashion, interior design, ethical quandries of all sorts. . .try me!

And then follow my advice and report back.




Handclaps-edit
[Edited 1/11/07 13:16pm]

any ideas on what to feed a sickly cat that will only lick the gravy off of his canned food?

cheers

I want to kill this woman at work. What should I do?

emm said:

Aww. Well, it depends on what's going on. Has the kitty been checked by a vet? It could be something as simple as a dental problem making it painful to eat. It could also be something serious, such as renal failure. If it's renal failure, keeping the kitty hydrated (and medicated, per vet instructions) and rotating between various appropriate diets can help. Heating the food will make it more aromatic and appealing. There are also bottles of "gravy" on the market to add to pet food to encourage critters to eat, but it would be best to find out first what the actual problem is.

Good luck.

DanceWme said:

Probably you shouldn't kill her, unless some greater good would be served and you're willing to do the time.

So! Why is it that you want to kill her? Maybe we can kill the desire rather than the person.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

I work with children and she treats them so unfair. She yells at them all the time and she doesnt have patience. Yesterday, this 9 yr old boy asked her if she could help him with his script(which she is suppose to do) and she said "No, go home and ask ur mother or something but leave me alone". WTF?!?!?!

I need a s l a m m i n argument, one that will convince Eternaldragon for once and for all, that Evolution is in fact happening an Creationism is unscientific nonsense.


thanks in advance! shit, I waited for this since 2 years



.
[Edited 1/11/07 9:53am]

DanceWme said:

Wow. Is she above you on the chain of command? Is there somebody above both of you who you trust? It sounds like somebody needs to talk to her about whether or not she's in the right line of work.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

She is above me but I have spoke with people above her. They want to check her interacting with the children more.There is someone watching her but they are taking extremely long doing something about it. I cant wait till she's gone

lol

DanceWme said:

sounds like u need to this woman !!..j/k..don't lose your job..she'll get what is coming to her..Vengeance is mine sayeth the lord..

hisfan4ever said:

Dancelot said:

Some people are truly not open to new ideas or understanding, and you'll never get through to them. Why is it so important to you to convince this person? Is it about them, or about the larger cultural issue?

The best argument for the truth of evolutionary theory is to point out that, given enough time and given the reality of genetic science, evolution couldn't NOT happen. Evolution is absolutely, completely inevitable if our current understanding of genetics is correct (not complete, just correct). Explaining how it could NOT occur is a huge, huge hurdle, and I've never known anybody who could leap it.

However, if you are arguing with somebody who is a proponent of the idea that Earth is only a few thousand years old, you're out of luck. It takes such incredibly convoluted reasoning to dismiss the mountains of evidence for a very old Earth that you cannot possibly reach such a person with reason. They are beyond reasoning with.

So, it comes back to understanding your own reasons for caring. If it helps, realize that they are clinging to something that they believe that they NEED to be ok in the world. All of us cling to the things that we believe we need. They are trying to survive. They may be confused, true, but you're unlikely to convince them to let go of a rope when they are convinced that they are going to fall into a firey pit if they do. The need to feel safe will trump the need to feel rational for most people, so if you're dealing with somebody for whom those things are in conflict, you may as well give up.

But I know and understand your frustration.

hisfan4ever said:

Ok, is your name Melissa? No? Then this is not your advice column. Thanks.

DanceWme said:

It sounds like you have already done everything in your power. Now it's just a matter of having to pick up her slack, as far as making sure the kids get what they need. It isn't fair, but it's obvious that you care, and with her being so terrible and her superiors being aware of it, surely she'll be gone before too long.

Would there be any opportunity to get parents involved? Do any of them know her well enough to have complaints? Often outside complaints really move things along (which isn't really fair either, but hey).

How does one go about giving advice to the advice columnist?

This is for Handclaps and you

How should i get my mother to see that she takes no personal accountability for her choices in life and that said choices are key to her end result and frustrations

reminder : my mother has dementia and cant carry on logical conversations but for a brief moment

thanx

HereToRockYourWorld said:

There's a few parents that want to kill her too
But I do believe she will be gone really soon

Thanks a lot !!!

sag10 said:

I'd suggest orgnote.

Assuming they are an org advice columnist, of course. If not, try the contact information listed in the column.


assumption-edit
[Edited 1/11/07 10:16am]

Dear Melissa,

When someone at work or on the street tells me to smile and I'm not really upset or depressed but I'm maybe just TIRED and don't feel like smiling, is there a polite way of telling them to piss off? Also, what's it to them if I smile or not? Who made them boss of my face?

Sincerely,
Frowns'R'Beautiful

DanceWme said:

Ooh, have the parents write letters! That should really speed things up. Try it.

My Ex is moving out of state next month. How long should I be sad over it?

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Oh I will do that right now

I'm gonna have sex with this thread and everyone on it. Twice. Uh!

Cloudbuster said:

oh yeah!

Mach said:

Ah, good, chime in at will, Handclaps.

You are only personally accountable for your actions if you are capable of understanding the potential consequences and deciding whether or not to take that action. A person who is no longer mentally capable of keeping the concepts of actions and their consequences straight in her own head for more than a moment is not actually personally accountable for her actions. Adults with substantial dementia become childlike in that way.

Of course, there was a time when she was personally accountable, and you may all still be living with the consequences of those actions. But is there any point in her grasping her responsibility at this point?

I guess my main question is, why does it matter to you if she sees that reality or not, at this point? Not saying it shouldn't matter, just. . . for you. . . why?

HereToRockYourWorld said:

I was speaking of her past choices in her mentally healthy days



and really ...at this times it does not matter

I just wanted to see what you would say

great advice BTW

Anx said:

Dear FRB,

A few weeks ago I would have congratulated you. I used to believe that random people only told very pretty people they encountered on the street to "smile", out of their own selfish desire to see a pretty person become even more pretty by smiling. So, you could have concluded that you are pretty, and each time this happened to you, it could have been a reminder.

Unfortuantely, that theory has been blown out of the water, because it happened to ME the other day. I was floored. I briefly considered being happy about being pretty, but I'm not one who likes to visit Camp Delusional too often, so I decided that my theory is wrong.

Now, I think those people are just insenstive doltheads who are blind to the reality that, yes, frowns can be beautiful. The moody make the world go 'round.

I do not think you are obligated to say anyting at all. If you must respond, I would suggest sticking your tongue out, possibly allowing a bit of spittle to fly in their general direction as you do.

Good luck.

Mach said:

Gotcha. I still think it's hard, because the consequences don't stop happening, and it still might feel good to think that somebody had taken responsibility for their actions. I think it's one of those situations where you really do have to let go (and I know you know that).

My grandfather has dementia. It's rough. Take care.