Just wondering where it leaves u. Its easy to get thru shit when u know uve got at least one person out there to relate to, someone who cares. Its disorienting when u discover u dont.

Sorry, just a rant.

Try this Tom:

http://www.prince.org/msg...&tid=21263

But that's normal actually.

Many people who were geniuses felt different and reported not having many good friends, let alone a best friend.

Maybe ur a genius, Tom.

No, not me.

Im in this situation. I have good friends but not a best, i learnt that im my best friend. I had a best one but he was only a fucking betrayer and in this case i prefer 2 b alone.

Lilith said:

Sorry to hear that Lilith...Sometimes we have to find the best friend from within ourselves. And only then can we actually recognize the true honesty in somebody else.

Tom said:

While certainly not bragging I believe I have the opposite problem. I have too many "best friends". If I were to ever be married I would have a hell of a time picking the best man.

To have a best friend you have to be willing to be a best friend.

Lilith said:

I bet it's cuz he didn't like Marilyn Manson, right?

lovemachine said:

IMHO No, I do not see it as bragging ..I remember back in my school days...I had so many friends and they all considered me their best friend and I considered myself their best friend also. I could not hang around with just one group. I use to feel I had to go from one group to the other just to aknowledge them and show them how I felt about them. I even remember one day skipping one of my groups and them leaving a message in my locker asking me if they did anything to hurt my feelings and that they had missed me at lunch time...cute ..It is a good thing but as you said you might get cought up in situations when you feel you have to choose and it becomes hard... I still have a few of my friends from school. It is great to know people who you have known almost all of your life.

TailGate said:

When I think about it I guess having many friends is not really a problem for me so I don't know why I said "opposite problem".I just have a large number of people that I am willing to share anything with. To me this is what having friends is all about.

I also have a number of people that I have been friends with for virtually my entire life. It is pretty cool to have people in your life for that long of a time.

D

yes, i have...sort of...what i really realized was that i had no real friends, and that my best friend was by definition my only friend. in theory, there is no such thing as a best friend. anyone that you can attribute all of the qualities that make up a 'true' friend is just that, a friend. if you know more than one person that fits the bill, then consider yourself lucky, you have two 'real' friends, and so on and so forth, so then what would make one better or 'best' if they both/all meet the qualifications of what makes someone a true friend? i guess it could depend on your own personal definition of what makes a person a friend, which is why i think we can all agree we like some people more than others based on those self-ascribed qualities. but because most fall short in one area or another can they really be considered 'true' friends? or just acquaintances that we enjoy being in the company of once in a while. that is what i consider most of the people i 'hang' around with as, most see them as my friends. this might make more sense if you make a list of everyone you consider to be a friend, then ask yourself this, what is the most important quality, or what word to you best describes what a friend is or should be? while it may be different for each person, you'll soon see how many people you know are eliminated right off the bat, come up with 3 or 4 and you'll be lucky if anyone is still on the list, and if there is, it's probably your 'best' friend, but if all you did was define a friend to begin with, what does that make everybody else on the list?

Oh, what a friend we have in Cheeses!

WillieThePimp said:

Bill is my best friend.

All my close friends have moved on and we've lost contact,I would say that my other half is my best friend but sometimes it still gets lonley.

Much love Pochacco

ask Bill...he doesn't... An he manages.

I'd settle for people who wouldn't just sell out and betray at the first chance they get...

.
[This message was edited Mon Sep 2 11:15:57 PDT 2002 by Starmist7]

Read below only if youre really bored, lol:

My best friend of 9 years, Becky, and I abruptly ended our friendship. The very first day we met we *clicked* BIG TIME and hung out like crazy ever since.

A few years later we're both in our late 20s and started to settle down from our partying years. She had a kid (the father of it ditched her) and moved out on her own. From then on, any time we would go anywhere like to the mall or out to dinner, I got treated like the "father" not only by the cashier or the waitress but by her. She would never pay for anything and would basically mooch off me and everyone else. Her personality also changed drastically. She went from being a free-spirited do-anytying kind of person, to becoming completely self-absorbed and selfish. Conversations were one-way. It got so bad that those of us who hung out with her didnt call ourselves friends, we were "members of the Becky fan club", lol. Over the past year I noticed the both of us kind of going seperate ways, but I hadn't met anyone else to kind of assume that role/fill that void, whatever you want to call it. The shit hit the fan a couple weeks ago, when on a whim, she stiffed me on concert tickets, and I decided to cut her off and look elsewhere for a close friend.

The rest of the people I hang with are all knee deep in the gay scene. Theyre fun to party with but they're also very fickle. One week they're your best friend, spill their guts to you, sleep with you, or whatever. The next week they don't remember your name. Be it the drugs, attention deficit disorder, or whatever, theres nothing substantial.

I was out last night and had some run-ins with people at the bar. When I got home and was ready to grab the phone I had a reality check. So I signed on here and posted that message, as sad as that may sound lol.

I just tweaked because I realized how hard it is to find a close friend/best friend. Probabbly harder than finding a bf or gf. The one I knew for so long I assumed would always be there. Just freaked me out.

Thank u folks for your posts and orgnotes.
[This message was edited Mon Sep 2 19:28:12 PDT 2002 by Tom]

ohhh Tom...i soo feel you and your story...your bestfriend reminded me of a Til Tuesday song called "limits to love":

Weve known her ever since she was a kid
she was the kind of girl who repeats her mistakes
Her parents never minded what she did
She was a fallen angel with dirt on her face
But past a certain point u stay behind
the two of us could never read her mind
the million ways she had of killing time

so we just gave up
yeah we just gave up
'cause sometimes, you know
there's limits to love

We'd get impatient with her now and then
oh, shed smile and say, "now your not being nice"
I guess her definition of a friend
was someone long on love, and short on advice
We gave her money but the money's bad
She took the dollars and just tore them in half
We got so angry, we just had to laugh

but we just gave up
yeah we still gave up
'cause sometimes, you know
there's limits to love

She'll get in trouble but she will scrape through
oh, she's the kind of girl who can always find help
I'd say she's stupid, but it'd be untrue
oh, you've got to be smart
if you're fooling yourself

We tried to love her, but our love unwound
(so our love was weak)
We talked about her when she wasn't around
(so our talk was cheap)
and still we felt that we were letting her down
'cause we just gave up
yeah we just gave up
'cause sometimes, you know
there's limits to love
Sometimes you know
there's limits to love

-aimee mann

dont know why i thought of that song...but whenever i have friend issues, it always pops in my head.



[This message was edited Mon Sep 2 20:07:42 PDT 2002 by SkletonKee]

SkletonKee said:

xoxoxo skeletonkee

Searching for it now on Winmx. lol

i havent seen my two best friends in a few yrs... even harder since i moved to LA a while back... sucksss

Yes. It's weird because you wonder why?

I have found that it is probably because you can outgrow people. Or, you just go different directions...

Friendship is intimate. And some people really struggle with getting "too close", for fear of pain or rejection or whatever.

I also believe that until one can learn to get rid of unreasonable expectations, forgive faults and mistakes, true friendship is hindered.

~honesty~ ~communication~ ~trust~ ~patience~ ~forgiveness~

I bet it's cuz he didn't like Marilyn Manson, right? [/quote]

No, not 4 it...I respect other ones tastes. He betrayed me trying 2 make me fight with my boyfriend. He isnt proud 2 admit his faults...Now he's dead 4 me

Sorry to hear that Lilith...Sometimes we have to find the best friend from within ourselves. And only then can we actually recognize the true honesty in somebody else. [/quote]


I agree with u and im doing it infact i was blessed finding new good friends that r giving 2 me alot of satisfactions

lovemachine said:

right. you don't want to single out just one. would be unfair to the others.

Nep2nes said:

you, on the other hand, probably have MANY best friends. right?