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Thread started 01/01/07 9:44pm

Milty

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Why is Superman always getting his ass kicked?

I mean really, if it's not the comics, it's in the movies or it's on a cartoon. Take for example the Justice League animated film, Supes is getting beat all over the place. How can The Greatest Hero of All Time who happens to be invulnerable, get caught in some goo machine?

ok i gave him the Kryptonite thing. Ok fine...everyone has to have a weakness but lately (and I mean like years), he has been getting his boy scout ass beat.

I just don't get it.
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Reply #1 posted 01/01/07 9:45pm

luv4u

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He's no wimp once he gets that uniform on smile
canada

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REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #2 posted 01/01/07 9:51pm

Milty

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luv4u said:

He's no wimp once he gets that uniform on smile



well when i say he's getting his ass kicked, it's in his uniform. otherwise, no one would know it's Superman.
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Reply #3 posted 01/01/07 10:03pm

thesexofit

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Superhero's suck
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Reply #4 posted 01/01/07 10:29pm

ZombieKitten

Milty said:

luv4u said:

He's no wimp once he gets that uniform on smile



well when i say he's getting his ass kicked, it's in his uniform. otherwise, no one would know it's Superman.


wave hi Milty! biggrin
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Reply #5 posted 01/01/07 11:24pm

luv4u

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Milty said:

luv4u said:

He's no wimp once he gets that uniform on smile



well when i say he's getting his ass kicked, it's in his uniform. otherwise, no one would know it's Superman.



He never gets his ass kicked when he's wearing his office clothes with his geeky glasses as Clark Kent.
canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #6 posted 01/02/07 2:38am

novabrkr

Try wearing blue all-body pantyhose on yourself and see how long you will last in the public.
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Reply #7 posted 01/02/07 4:38am

Imago

He's wearing underwear for the world to see, and he doesn't even have a semi-prominent penis line. It's like he's packing nothing between the legs.
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Reply #8 posted 01/02/07 4:57am

Number23

Imago said:

He's wearing underwear for the world to see, and he doesn't even have a semi-prominent penis line. It's like he's packing nothing between the legs.

Let me explain. I'd assume the evolutionary process on Krypton has robbed Superman of his genetalia. He concieves through mystical methods the writers havn't smoked enough skunk to explain yet. But why has the process of natural selection shrunk the men of Krypton's willies?, I hear you query. Well, due to the infinite but cylindrical nature of our universe (a bubble bubbling off the multiverse - think of a soapy sink), if Superman had sex he'd not only shoot his seed straight through the skull of the lady (or fellow) with his shotgun ejaculation, but said semen would be fired at such a humanly untangible perception beyond lightspeed it would eventually hit him on the back of the head, killing him as well as his paramour. It wouldn't be a pretty sight for the police and Columbo himself wouldn't be able to figure out the chain of events.
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Reply #9 posted 01/02/07 5:05am

Imago

Number23 said:

Imago said:

He's wearing underwear for the world to see, and he doesn't even have a semi-prominent penis line. It's like he's packing nothing between the legs.

Let me explain. I'd assume the evolutionary process on Krypton has robbed Superman of his genetalia. He concieves through mystical methods the writers havn't smoked enough skunk to explain yet. But why has the process of natural selection shrunk the men of Krypton's willies?, I hear you query. Well, due to the infinite but cylindrical nature of our universe (a bubble bubbling off the multiverse - think of a soapy sink), if Superman had sex he'd not only shoot his seed straight through the skull of the lady (or fellow) with his shotgun ejaculation, but said semen would be fired at such a humanly untangible perception beyond lightspeed it would eventually hit him on the back of the head, killing him as well as his paramour. It wouldn't be a pretty sight for the police and Columbo himself wouldn't be able to figure out the chain of events.

falloff
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Reply #10 posted 01/02/07 6:09am

Milty

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Number23 said:

Imago said:

He's wearing underwear for the world to see, and he doesn't even have a semi-prominent penis line. It's like he's packing nothing between the legs.

Let me explain. I'd assume the evolutionary process on Krypton has robbed Superman of his genetalia. He concieves through mystical methods the writers havn't smoked enough skunk to explain yet. But why has the process of natural selection shrunk the men of Krypton's willies?, I hear you query. Well, due to the infinite but cylindrical nature of our universe (a bubble bubbling off the multiverse - think of a soapy sink), if Superman had sex he'd not only shoot his seed straight through the skull of the lady (or fellow) with his shotgun ejaculation, but said semen would be fired at such a humanly untangible perception beyond lightspeed it would eventually hit him on the back of the head, killing him as well as his paramour. It wouldn't be a pretty sight for the police and Columbo himself wouldn't be able to figure out the chain of events.



ah i see. so that's why he's a big Nancy
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Reply #11 posted 01/02/07 6:55am

Number23

Milty said:

Number23 said:


Let me explain. I'd assume the evolutionary process on Krypton has robbed Superman of his genetalia. He concieves through mystical methods the writers havn't smoked enough skunk to explain yet. But why has the process of natural selection shrunk the men of Krypton's willies?, I hear you query. Well, due to the infinite but cylindrical nature of our universe (a bubble bubbling off the multiverse - think of a soapy sink), if Superman had sex he'd not only shoot his seed straight through the skull of the lady (or fellow) with his shotgun ejaculation, but said semen would be fired at such a humanly untangible perception beyond lightspeed it would eventually hit him on the back of the head, killing him as well as his paramour. It wouldn't be a pretty sight for the police and Columbo himself wouldn't be able to figure out the chain of events.



ah i see. so that's why he's a big Nancy

nod That's all it is. He just doesn't want to shoot himself in the back of the head with his own semen.
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Reply #12 posted 01/02/07 7:07am

Krytonite

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Milty said:

I mean really, if it's not the comics, it's in the movies or it's on a cartoon. Take for example the Justice League animated film, Supes is getting beat all over the place. How can The Greatest Hero of All Time who happens to be invulnerable, get caught in some goo machine?

ok i gave him the Kryptonite thing. Ok fine...everyone has to have a weakness but lately (and I mean like years), he has been getting his boy scout ass beat.

I just don't get it.



Since Superman is invulnerable and has the strength to move a planet, he has no worthy opponents except for Lex Luther, Darkseid, and Doomsday.
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Reply #13 posted 01/02/07 7:36am

Sinister

Krytonite said:

Milty said:

I mean really, if it's not the comics, it's in the movies or it's on a cartoon. Take for example the Justice League animated film, Supes is getting beat all over the place. How can The Greatest Hero of All Time who happens to be invulnerable, get caught in some goo machine?

ok i gave him the Kryptonite thing. Ok fine...everyone has to have a weakness but lately (and I mean like years), he has been getting his boy scout ass beat.

I just don't get it.



Since Superman is invulnerable and has the strength to move a planet, he has no worthy opponents except for Lex Luther, Darkseid, and Doomsday.


He technically is a sponge...he absorbs the sun's energy and that gives him his strength. What you describe he should not technically be doing moving planets and such....Just because people write him doing it does not mean he should be.

Thing is (and this is all my opinion mind you) he is a flawed character. His perfection makes him nearly impossible to write a believable story for him. If any of you have read the comic Invincible there is a character there that is a Superman type. He defeats enemies in seconds saves the world in minutes and has the same powers as Superman. But the comic wasn't about him he was but a suporting character cause if he is unstoppable and its about him why even read it?

Superman gets into way too many slugfests all the while we are to believe him to be clever. If he was clever he would use his super speed all the time and just knock Lex Luthor on his ass instead of talking with him. So they lower his power, IQ, make things made of Kryptonite ect ect but that gets old.
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Reply #14 posted 01/02/07 8:13am

MickG

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Without peral, there is no drama.
Without drama, there is no story.
News: Prince pulls his head out his ass in the last moment.
Bad News: Prince wasted too much quality time doing so.
You have those internalized issues because you want to, you like to, stop.
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Reply #15 posted 01/02/07 8:38am

Milty

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Sinister said:

Krytonite said:




Since Superman is invulnerable and has the strength to move a planet, he has no worthy opponents except for Lex Luther, Darkseid, and Doomsday.


He technically is a sponge...he absorbs the sun's energy and that gives him his strength. What you describe he should not technically be doing moving planets and such....Just because people write him doing it does not mean he should be.

Thing is (and this is all my opinion mind you) he is a flawed character. His perfection makes him nearly impossible to write a believable story for him. If any of you have read the comic Invincible there is a character there that is a Superman type. He defeats enemies in seconds saves the world in minutes and has the same powers as Superman. But the comic wasn't about him he was but a suporting character cause if he is unstoppable and its about him why even read it?

Superman gets into way too many slugfests all the while we are to believe him to be clever. If he was clever he would use his super speed all the time and just knock Lex Luthor on his ass instead of talking with him. So they lower his power, IQ, make things made of Kryptonite ect ect but that gets old.



but that's the thing about Superman is that he's such a boy scout. he'd rather talk it out b4 slapping Lex into next year.

i tell you this for free....Batman ain't having none of it. he will slap you.
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Reply #16 posted 01/02/07 8:39am

Sinister

Milty said:

Sinister said:



He technically is a sponge...he absorbs the sun's energy and that gives him his strength. What you describe he should not technically be doing moving planets and such....Just because people write him doing it does not mean he should be.

Thing is (and this is all my opinion mind you) he is a flawed character. His perfection makes him nearly impossible to write a believable story for him. If any of you have read the comic Invincible there is a character there that is a Superman type. He defeats enemies in seconds saves the world in minutes and has the same powers as Superman. But the comic wasn't about him he was but a suporting character cause if he is unstoppable and its about him why even read it?

Superman gets into way too many slugfests all the while we are to believe him to be clever. If he was clever he would use his super speed all the time and just knock Lex Luthor on his ass instead of talking with him. So they lower his power, IQ, make things made of Kryptonite ect ect but that gets old.



but that's the thing about Superman is that he's such a boy scout. he'd rather talk it out b4 slapping Lex into next year.

i tell you this for free....Batman ain't having none of it. he will slap you.


But if you notice he is only a boyscout in some instances now...if he is rolling with Batman then he is a bit more hard. It just depends on how he is written at the time...nod
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Reply #17 posted 01/02/07 8:43am

Milty

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Sinister said:

Milty said:




but that's the thing about Superman is that he's such a boy scout. he'd rather talk it out b4 slapping Lex into next year.

i tell you this for free....Batman ain't having none of it. he will slap you.


But if you notice he is only a boyscout in some instances now...if he is rolling with Batman then he is a bit more hard. It just depends on how he is written at the time...nod


i dunno. he's always asking Batman dumb stuff like ,"why'd you kick that nun in the head?".

upon which Bats replies,"cuz she was asking for it".
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Reply #18 posted 01/02/07 8:45am

Sinister

Milty said:

Sinister said:



But if you notice he is only a boyscout in some instances now...if he is rolling with Batman then he is a bit more hard. It just depends on how he is written at the time...nod


i dunno. he's always asking Batman dumb stuff like ,"why'd you kick that nun in the head?".

upon which Bats replies,"cuz she was asking for it".


lol well not in the current stuff...it's more of a mutual respect thing now...and Superman is no boyscout anymore...
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Reply #19 posted 01/02/07 11:56am

scififilmnerd

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Sinister said:

and Superman is no boyscout anymore...


Why not? confuse
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Reply #20 posted 01/02/07 12:23pm

uPtoWnNY

Krytonite said:

Since Superman is invulnerable and has the strength to move a planet, he has no worthy opponents except for Lex Luther, Darkseid, and Doomsday.



DC has toned down Supes' strength since they revamped him in 1986(which was the smart thing to do). He's still top dawg, but the planet-moving sh!t is out.
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Reply #21 posted 01/02/07 12:28pm

Sinister

scififilmnerd said:

Sinister said:

and Superman is no boyscout anymore...


Why not? confuse


Mainly they made him more realistic...You can have values but you don't have to be a carebear about it. It makes him more interesting as a character.
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Reply #22 posted 01/02/07 12:30pm

2the9s

It's kind of like how I'm alwasy kicking LeeLlee's ass.

shrug

Same thing.
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Reply #23 posted 01/02/07 12:38pm

Sinister

2the9s said:

It's kind of like how I'm alwasy kicking LeeLlee's ass.

shrug

Same thing.

smile
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Reply #24 posted 01/02/07 2:01pm

scififilmnerd

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I like Superman. I've even got a Superman t-shirt. biggrin
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Reply #25 posted 01/02/07 2:08pm

Milty

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scififilmnerd said:

I like Superman. I've even got a Superman t-shirt. biggrin



i got a Green Lantern t-shirt. i like Green Lantern.
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Reply #26 posted 01/02/07 5:24pm

RONNYRON

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Krytonite said:

Milty said:

I mean really, if it's not the comics, it's in the movies or it's on a cartoon. Take for example the Justice League animated film, Supes is getting beat all over the place. How can The Greatest Hero of All Time who happens to be invulnerable, get caught in some goo machine?

ok i gave him the Kryptonite thing. Ok fine...everyone has to have a weakness but lately (and I mean like years), he has been getting his boy scout ass beat.

I just don't get it.



Since Superman is invulnerable and has the strength to move a planet, he has no worthy opponents except for Lex Luther, Darkseid, and Doomsday.





Well said Kryptonite.


This is my take on it, from 1938 to 1986 - SUPES was pretty much invincible and could indeed move planets!... something had 2 be done, so in a huge revamp after CRISIS on INFINITE EARTHS (JediMaster back me up) - he was depowered considerably, no longer able 2 move planets, SUPES now breaks a sweat lifting an aeroplane, it just makes it a fair fight an a lot more interesting, otherwise, where's the challenge, and then of course, there's KRYPTONITE.

SUPES did go toe 2 toe in a smackdown with CAPTAIN MARVEL (SHAZAM!) in The Justice League Unlimited animated series and came out on top by using his brains and experience.

Young Clark in the SMALLVILLE tv series seems 2 do pretty well 4 himself again, except when KRYPTONITE is involved and with a bunch of Phantom Zone crims running around loose on Earth in SEASON 6 - it's also making it interesting.

But enuff geekiness, I have more than a few SUPERMAN t-shirts, don't think he's a wimp, but rather the first and greatest SUPERHERO of them all, sure BATMAN, SPIDEY, WOLVERINE and the rest are all cooler, but there's a God-like majesty that only SUPES has, and all those dudes look up 2 him... wink



http://www.myspace.com/ronnyron2007
[Edited 1/2/07 17:28pm]
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Reply #27 posted 01/02/07 6:17pm

uPtoWnNY

RONNYRON said:

This is my take on it, from 1938 to 1986 - SUPES was pretty much invincible and could indeed move planets!... something had 2 be done, so in a huge revamp after CRISIS on INFINITE EARTHS (JediMaster back me up) - he was depowered considerably, no longer able 2 move planets, SUPES now breaks a sweat lifting an aeroplane, it just makes it a fair fight an a lot more interesting, otherwise, where's the challenge, and then of course, there's KRYPTONITE.

SUPES did go toe 2 toe in a smackdown with CAPTAIN MARVEL (SHAZAM!) in The Justice League Unlimited animated series and came out on top by using his brains and experience.

Young Clark in the SMALLVILLE tv series seems 2 do pretty well 4 himself again, except when KRYPTONITE is involved and with a bunch of Phantom Zone crims running around loose on Earth in SEASON 6 - it's also making it interesting.

But enuff geekiness, I have more than a few SUPERMAN t-shirts, don't think he's a wimp, but rather the first and greatest SUPERHERO of them all, sure BATMAN, SPIDEY, WOLVERINE and the rest are all cooler, but there's a God-like majesty that only SUPES has, and all those dudes look up 2 him... wink



http://www.myspace.com/ronnyron2007
[Edited 1/2/07 17:28pm]



That 1986 revamp got me reading DC superheroes again. I ignored them in favor of the much cooler Marvel characters. But John Byrne's 6-issue "Man of Steel", Frank Miller's "Dark Knight Returns" and George Perez's work on Wonder Woman brought me back. Today, the stories are out of sight, and Supes has better villains to fight(Darkseid, Brainiac, Metallo, Mongol, Imperiex).

After Joss Whedon finishes the Wonder Woman film, I'd like Warner/DC to work on Justice League. They can start off with Supes, Batman, WW and introduce the Martian Manhunter.
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