My family goes to a mostly Korean church and tomorrow night I will be playing Santa in front of the 300 or so parishoners. I've never played Santa before except for once in 5th grade and that was just because I was the "fat kid". I'm nervous because I think the kids there will totally not buy my performance. There is also the possibility that my 5 year old might out me.

Any advice?

Its a MUST u say Ho Ho Ho

don't tell them that you know Captain Chaos.

do NOT picture the audience in their underwear in order to overcome nervousness

DanceWme said:

I'm afraid I'm going to screw that part up. I'll say something like Ho Ho Ha or something.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

If I say my wife's, my ass is sleeping on the couch.

GottaLetitgo said:

purplerein said:

The first rule of CaptainChaos is that I don't talk about CaptainChaos.

GottaLetitgo said:

no *%#$%@ profanity!

Just smile

What's the rule on getting thoroughly liquored up before playing the Claus?

Good luck.
Ultimately, remember this. Most of the folks will just be anxious to get home and get ready for the next day.




We just revieled to my nephews (6 and 7 years old) that Santa is a myth, and now Christmas is going to suck.

Imago said:

6 and 7 ? Damn!

DanceWme said:

They've been suspecting it all year, so my sister finally broke down and admitted it to them.

They were completely un-phased, while we [the grownups] were all traumatized.

Imago said:

Thats how old I was when I found out. Horrible!

DanceWme said:

Well, last year, the youngest one (only 5 1/2 at the time) looked at his bike and said, "Mommy, my bike is made in China." My sister responded with, "Everything is made in China now honey." He scratched his head and said, "But I got this from Santa. What's the purpose of making toys in the North Pole and all his elves if it's made in China?"

That day was rough.

Imago said:

Smart kid. My dumbass niece would've asked ...Is Santa chinese?
[Edited 12/23/06 15:56pm]

DanceWme said:

So mean. Just make sure your niece grows up to be a hottie. She doesn't need to be smart or talented, if she's a hottie.

Imago said:

In a needless aside, when I was originally posting this, I asked my wife how large the church was and she said why and I said no reason and she asked, "You're on Prince.Org again aren't you?" The she asked why I had to write about everything here and just did not understand my deep connection with the Org. Quite frankly I think she is just jealous.

Back to being Santa, I just want to be convincing because there are a lot of children in the 2-5 year old range and I don't want to be the guy who causes the long conversation about Santa's origin on their way home from church.

Well the experience went well. For the most part, I gave an Academy Award performance as the old fat jolly elf. I think I also scarred a couple of children for life too but I think every faux Santa does that. But most of the kids believed that I was the Claus and one girl went on for 10 minutes about how she was going to bake cookies just like last year but she was going to do a better job and she hoped I didn't get sick last year. I said I didn't and she beamed like she was really concerned she had food poisoned Santa last year. Not everyone was convinced, one girl saying there was no way I could be Santa because Santa does not have freckles. Whatever! Anyway I had all these people who wanted to pose with me at the end, including adults with no children in sight. There is just something about the magic of Santa I guess.

GottaLetitgo said:

That is sooo cute!