heartbeatocean said:

I'm not a person who puts a lot of energy into trying to fool myself. And honestly, *I* am feeling like this woman is incredibly toxic. I've spent a lot of time with her. I've seen how she is. She's not somebody that you want having any influence in your life.

I'm only pissed at feeling like my concerns were brushed off.

For the record, we spent some time talking about it this morning. She says that she didn't understand how bothered I was. While I think I was pretty clear. . . I guess I wasn't, so. . .my bad.

She says she was just trying to be nice and doesn't feel any need to go out with her again, so I guess that's that.

On to the next Thing! Because, in relationships, there is ALWAYS a next Thing. Don't know when, don't know what, but. . . it'll be there!


Thanks for. . . um. . . indulging a too-personal oversimplification of something that never belonged on the org!

HereToRockYourWorld said:

We can all learn from someone's relationship issues.

I'd definitely hold the S.O. to the "doesn't feel the need to go out with her again". Keep the date in mind and next year arrange for the 2 of you to be on some exotic vacation, far out of town. Ha!

I'm always a sucker for giving advice.

purplerein said:

very good point...and I would even go as far as saying that maybe you should have told her not to go, because you felt so strongly about it....granted that would have possibly opened up a messier can of worms, but sometimes putting your foot down is a viable option....at the very least, if she would have discussed your concerns instead of shutting down as you put it, I think you'd be in a bit of a better place with it....I could be wrong though....

considering my checkered history with exes, my wife would probably be loading a handgun at this moment....

hope everything works out....

which apparently it has.....


THE SORRY I WAS LATE TO THE PROCEEDINGS EDIT
[Edited 12/23/06 15:42pm]

How'd that "need a cock" thing work out for you?

just askin.

purplerein said:

Based on the make-up sex that we can't seem to stop having, I'd say I'm doing ok without it.

reneGade20 said:

It was tempting! Because in Normal People Land, I don't think it's terribly unusual for people to insist that their SOs not hang out with exes, and if I'm going to engage in this crazy monogamy business, maybe I want the irrational perks. But truthfully, I don't believe in telling other adult human beings what they can and cannot do. I can only tell them how it affects me, and what I'm willing to deal with.

HereToRockYourWorld said:[quote]

reneGade20 said:

And that is an awesome philosophy....seriously...even before my wife and I got married, she really had an issue with the fact that I was good friends with many of my exes....granted, I wasn't always the smartest kid on the block in all of my actions, but she had no problem at all with telling me that exes belong in the past....on the flip side, sometimes exes refuse to go away and cause drama...sometimes because they want back in, but often because they just wanna throw a monkey wrench into your shit....

me? My philosophy is what I don't see, I don't know, so I don't look for it...

and hey...its crazy in normal people land too..... maybe even more so...

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Normal People Land seems as though it's how others behave, which is the standard, the expectation. You seem to refer to this as a spectator.
What's normal is what your values and ethics are with your girlfriend and mutual agreement of such. Applicable across the board.
I informed my husband who was on his 3rd marriage,(my 1st), much older, and poor track record; infidelity was not tolerable. Managed to keep him in line, in my own way, after 25 years.
[Edited 12/25/06 4:01am]