A coworker and I were discussing this the other day. He said he was walking downtown when some dude came up to him and asked "Hey man you got 50 cents? " He said "No" dude said " You Got A Dollar? He said "No" dude said "You Got 2 dollars" He said "No" Dude said " WELL F*** YOU THEN M-FER" And followed him down the block cussing him out. Mine was a guy who stopped me after I just walked out the door of Shinders bookstore on Hennepin Ave. He said "Hey man can you help a brother who's down on his luck with some spare change? I gave him the 75 cents I had in my hand and started to walk away. He said "Hold Up! I Know You Got Some More In Your Pockets!" I looked at him, Shook my head, And started to walk away. He followed me, Got in my face and said " What?!! You Can't Talk Now? You Can't Talk? I had to fight every urge I had, to beat him down right then and there. But I gathered my composure, looked him in the eye and said "Look, I gave you what I had, Now leave me alone before I take it back!! I know those of you who live in bigger cities then Minneapolis have it worse. Do share.

When I was 13 I gave $5 (a lot of money for me at the time ) to an older lady begging outside a 7-11, and she asked in this really bitchy tone if that was it. I just kinda mumbled and walked away

I try not to carry cash if I'm in parts of town I know I'll get asked for money, because I can't stop myself giving it away.

There's a guy who panhandles in downtown Brooklyn who loudly excoriates you if you don't give to him. He shouts at people as they walk away, losing those others who walk soon behind.

He's a regular and there's enough random foot traffic where he hangs that it must work on some level.

My worst experience was seeing two older, grubby panhandlers making out...full on sucking face and groping right there on the sidewalk.

This guy asked me for money so he could buy him food. I had 2 slices of pizza and offered him one and he said " I dont eat that shit" I was like u aint hungry..He mumbled 'bitch' I just laughed and walked away

JustErin said:

i'm so sorry

I've never had a bad experience with panhandlers. I'll give some money if I've got it, if I've got the time I might stop to hang out or buy them a coffee or something to eat. Some of the nicest people I've ever met have been sitting on the sidewalk asking for change.

And some of the most unpleasant I know rush right past beggers with their eyes turned away, or sneer from their workplace windows about what a mess downtown has become.

i feel bad when i don't have change to give them.

FlyAway said:

i do to. a week ago it was freezing here in Chicago. this lady was sitting underneath this thing that was made for people to walk through during construction. she was begging for change and people were ignoring her. i felt so bad. i didn't have a dime to give her-me myself hadn't eaten all day that day but at least i was able to eat and be warm when i got home .

Ive never had a problem with homeless/panhandlers cause i treat them like just another human being. When they ask i give them what i can and make an effort to look at them as I do it, if I don't have the cash, hey im not rich, i still make eye contact and tell them not tonight.

I think a big problem is people don't treat the homeless as humans they treat them as a parasite and I think thats why some of the homeless get all in your face when they are being ignored.

brownsugar said:

sometimes i've been able to make up for it, tho...

for example, if i have paper money and buy something, then i have change. a couple of times i've run into the people asking a second time, and was able to offer help.

lazycrockett said:

yeah, sometimes all people need is a hello (or a "bonjour" in my case) or a nod. some acknowledgement of their humanity. especially when you see the same guys all the time, they're part of the neighborhood as much as anyone else.

In england they're always courteous.

I kick em anyways.

maybe it's because i lived in new york for six years, but i don't trust panhandlers and i won't give them money. i've seen and heard about too many people playing the "i'm so hungry" game to get money for drugs - and if i'm too broke to afford a decent drug habit, i have no business enabling some stranger's addiction.

i worked at a community center when i lived in new york, so i always had a few "street sheets" in my backpack which gave food shelter/counseling/shelter resources in all the different neighborhoods in NYC. if a panhandler approached me and i thought they looked REALLY in need, i'd give them a street sheet or tell them to go to my job and ask for more info.

meanwhile, i'll never forget what my friend nuar said when one of the little homeless punk rock urchins on st. mark's place asked her for change: "i'd like to help you, but change comes from within."

I rarely have problems but the worst was actually recently when Karen was in town. We were walking back to my car in Uptown and a man stopped us and asked if we liked poetry, I think. He looked homeless and was obviously panhandling. I said, I'm sorry, we don't have time right now and smiled. He got belligerant and said, well you had time to stand on the corner just now (as we had been chatting and saying goodbye to Jon and Ellie). He yelled a bit more about me being a liar and rode his bike away. All I could think was what an ASS! Instead of saying, no, I don't want to listen to you and I'm not giving you anything I was being polite. Apparently he doesn't like people with manners.

FlyAway said:

i've always felt this way in the past, at least in germany. but lately, there's a new group of women who've moved into the country, similar to the gypsies in italy, who are so clearly faking. they come up to you pretending to be mute, with a fake baby in a stroller, an explanation card of their plight in five different languages. i feel that if they were able to take the time to have their plea card translated for panhandling they should have the time to visit the ridiculous amount of help centers in this city dedicated to alleviating these problems. germany may be itching for money as of late, but the social system is still very accomadating compared to most countries. there's not a single reason for a person to be cold or hungry here. it's when people go out of their way to be dishonest & take advantage of the generosity of others that just gets my goose BOILING.

Ottensen said:

yeah, i've seen those types here tho. haven't given them anything. if they're selling a homeless person's paper, it's different tho. i'll occasionally buy one of those.

They're always really courteous in Scotland too, in my experience. I mean there are some who give you lip but if you ignore them they go away, and they're not as bad as these stories!

I tend not to give them money cause Im broke anyway, unless Im feeling extremely generous, but even then - I would never give them money if they stood up and asked me for it! They always sit down nice and quiet here, and if you say "no" they always say " have a nice day" or something. That I can deal with - cause you can still be a nice person when you're down on your luck

I have a picture of my ex wife and my mom standing over a sleeping bum in NYC.












I've already come to grips with my impending eternity in Hell.

My worst experience was when one of them picked up broken off piece of the curb and flung it at me. We got into a shouting match, thank god there was a cop nearby though that dealt with him.

I stopped giving money to them. When I run into them and they ask for money, I just explain that I don't carry cash around anymore, I only use my debit card.

susannah said:

The British have dignity and self-respect. Even when they beg.

There was an old guy I saw outside a Jamba Juice (something about old people, I can't resist giving them $). There was something about this dude that moved me - I gave him $20.

A few days later I went back to Jamba Juice & he was out there again w/ some other homeless guy. His eyes were glazed over & red, I knew he was drunk. They asked me for change on the way in & I told them politely that I didn't have anything. Then I cut over to Noah's, they asked again - I responded politely again. On the way to the car they asked AGAIN & I didn't say anything back, but got called all kinds of bitches

meow85 said:

Yup! That's been my experience as well.

My grandfather gave some change to a panhandler outside of a baseball stadium and the asshole threw it back at him!!!

I never give panhandlers money. I just ignore them when they ask.

CarrieMpls said:

You should have told that moron to sell his bike if he needed cash.

If the panhandler is polite and respectful and is not aggressive or rude in how they ask for money, I gladly give to them whatever I can spare at the moment, or buy them something to eat. The times I didn't give, despite knowing I could've done so, I felt terribly guilty and the guilt ate at me for quite some time afterwards.

Though I realize many of these people use the money given them to buy booze or drugs, I cannot help but feel compassion. It must be a terrible and dehumanizing way to live, being homeless, and also possibly living with an addiction of some kind, and live every day seeing people pass by you, actively attempting to pretend you don't exist. When I look at them, I try to always keep in mind "That person is somebody's son or daughter, or brother or sister, or maybe someone's father/mother." They each have a unique life story of their own.

Anx said:

Word.

I'm basically the same. The two areas of Seattle where I spend the most time have tons of panhandlers. I almost never carry cash, so I can truthfully say that I don't have anything. But if I did, I don't really want to give it away, especially when I know it's probably supporting an addiction. My bank account balance is currently negative, you know? Which isn't to say that I couldn't give more money away. I could. If it would get somebody off the street, I would happily do so. But it won't.

Honestly, this way-liberal city has pretty damn good services for the broke and homeless (and I've gotten close to using them ). I should go back to carrying the info sheets. I did that when I was in Americorps, and I think they're probably more helpful in the long run.


I might feel differently if I'd never had bad experiences, but I have. On multiple occasions I've given people food when they claimed to be hungry and had them growl at me (presumably 'cause isn't wasn't food they were craving). I've gotten the "what, can't you give me more than that?" response (does that ever actually WORK for them? ). Generally when people ask me for help I want to give it, but in this context, I just don't think it's really good for anybody involved.

WillyWonka said:

i think everyone's conscience works differently and there's no right/wrong answer or accepted etiquette, BUT: i personally think more good is done by volunteering at homeless aid organizations than from engaging in panhandling. or else give that change to a charity that will use it to buy meals for people who are going without. at least you KNOW your efforts are going toward keeping someone fed or sheltered.

i might have felt the same about giving to panhandlers at one time, but i've seen a LOT of cons and scams in my adult life. a LOT. and i don't have the kind of money to gamble with kindness.

evenstar3 said:

I SO would have taken my money back