Christmas Tequila Cookies


1 cup of dark brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1 cup of granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit, such as dried
cranberries or raisins
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or
gold, as desired)


Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a
large bowl, check the Cuervo
again to be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup, and
drink. Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one
cup of butter in a large,
fluffy bowl.


Add one seaspoon of thugar. Beat again. At
this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is
still OK, so try another cup just in case.


Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs
and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of fried druit, pick the frigging fruit off floor...


Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck
in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for
tonsisticity.


Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
Check the Jose Cuervo.


Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or
somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.


Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to
fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl or something, finish
the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the
stove in the dishwasher.


CHERRY MISTMAS

It's funny cause it's true.