In terms of what a person looks for in a romantic or sex partner, lookswise. Where does it come from? Why do some people like big, hairy lumberjack men and others, thin and pretty men? Why do some like large, voluptuous women and others, thinner, less curvy ones?

Is it background? Family? Genetics? Experience? Culture? Parenting?

meow85 said:

all of that.

meow85 said:

Personally, I think a lot of it comes from your parents or prime carers during your childhood years.

I think that when it comes to choosing partners, those who had good parents tend to seek idealised versions of them. Those that had bad experiences during their upbringing may look for partners that are far removed from their parental figures.

Physically, I think we subsonciously look for attributes that are similar to our own.

All the above is very sweeping and general, but I think that can be one element of how preferences develop.

I think it is too easy to claim where it comes from. I think that preferences shift and are created because of our life experiences, be they from childhood or yesterday.

HamsterHuey said:

I agree.

pheromones.

it all depends on what you've been drinking.



That Pabst Blue Ribbon is a MOTHER FUCKER I tell you.

what i find physically attractive has nothing in common with my parents. my dad was a big muscley guy with no body hair. not my type. i guess my mom while i was growing up was kind of intellectual and a bit of a culture vulture in her own limited smalltown indiana kinda way, and i admire those qualities in people i'm attracted to on an emotional level. but physically? nope. i don't know where my physical attractions come from.

What i find attractive has nothing to do with my parents. I think the reason i have been into blondes so much is because the first girl i ever had a crush on was sooooo blonde and sooooo pretty. And we were good friends as well. I guess it had an impact on me as far as what i find hot.

great question cause my siblings and I have totally different mates.everything from my brothers goth girl to my baby sisters african american boyfriend to my other sisters nerdy pillpopping husband. I can remember having crushes on darker skin men since jr. high. and always finding darker haired ethnic women as attractive. I have never fancied blond fair skinned people. my family is a great mix ofpeople too.

Love

nepal.

MikeMatronik said:

awwwww....

JustErin said:

People waste so much time with scientific explanations, that they forget Love.

absolutely no idea ...you just are attracted to who you are

meow85 said:

I think it has to do with experience & culture more than anything else. Growing up, most of the girls I knew were curvy women of color(black, latina, asian). That's always been my preference.

I think that for people like me, people who have a very specific "type" it must some how be genetic. Like there is something missing in my genes that someone who has the physical traits I find attractive could provide.


That's my

What draws me to someone is the way a person thinks, first and foremost. I love strong people who care about the world around them and intelligence. Then what they look like becomes secondary.

my preferences don't even come into consideration once I met and grew to like someone.

ZombieKitten said:

Hopefully for most people that'd be the case. But what I was referring to was strictly physical.

HamsterHuey said:

I wouldn't say that it's so easy to tell where preferences get their start.

Why, for example -since we are on a site devoted to an unconventionally attractive person -might someone be attracted to a small, feminine male as opposed to the traditionally masculine ideal? I'm sure there's a reason for it, especially since said preference is more common than you might think.

Or why might someone be attracted to people with light colouring, even though blue eyes and blonde hair are recessive traits and a genetic disadvantage?

I'm not sure selective taste was just a spontaneously occuring behavioural trait. It had to have come from somewhere, or we evolved with it for a specific reason.

meow85 said:

yeah me too!
I seriously never expected myself to be married to someone who looks the way he does, hairy back and bald and all - not attributes I might have looked for at all, but he was hot anyway

ZombieKitten said:

I'm currently in not-so-unrequited lust with someone who apparently stopped physically maturing at 12. He's a grown up, but you wouldn't know it to look at the guy. Lemme tell ya, that came as a surprise to me.

purplerein said:

Does a sherpa bring it?

well being that i already answered the other thread about what my "type" is i guess i should try to take a shot at where it comes from.

I'd say it definitely changes as you mature, i, throughout most of my schooling and highschool, liked preppyish traditional hot girls. but as soon as i was out of highschool and out on my own trying to become myself, still working on that part, i got really into punk and goth gals. and now i'm still into those looks but i have other interests as well when looking at physical features. for instance, lately i've found myself attracted to mixed races, where for a long time, not because i'm a racist or anything, i just wasn't attracted to people other than completely white girls.now i'm liking the mixed races, mainly mixed with white though. once again i'm not racist i'm just more attracted to certain features. (one famous girl that would reflect what i'm trying to get across is rosario dawson). i've probably confused people as i know i confused myself.



*edit* i fear lashings from this post so i am going to just reassert my thoughts. this thread was about preferences. now i have shared my preferences but this does not mean theres no exceptions i do find people outside of my hightest preference to be hot as well. but i focused only on my most preffered looks.
[Edited 12/12/06 23:25pm]

meow85 said:

my first boyfriend was like that!
I had taken a photo of him (he was 20) and my photography teacher thought it was a child!

ZombieKitten said:

It's funny because I'm normally attracted to much older, slightly femme guys. And that's not even bringing up my thoughts on other girls.


This guy's 19. Only two years younger than me, so not as cougar-esque as it probably sounds.

I'm mistaken for 14 or 15 all the time, and people think he's 11 or 12.

I know my attraction (lust, but not love, which thankfully keeps things simple) is returned. We're not in a relationship of any sort, the reason being he's got a girlfriend. He won't do anything because of her, and I've actually got a lot of respect for him for that. Most 19 year old guys wouldn't think twice about fooling around given the opportunity.

So a great big goes out to A. You're a good guy.


[Edited 12/12/06 2:53am]

meow85 said:

ZombieKitten said: