So anyways, I'm sitting on the shitter today taking a large, but very smooth and effortless dump, due to the high fiber mostly vegetable diet I've been partaking in as of lately. Moreover, since I've started drinking Acai' and eating more fruits, my fecal matter is coming out relatively smell free--well, at least in comparison to the vile ass explosions of my coworkers. But this is really material for it's own forthcoming thread, so I'll get back on track here.


Anyways, while I'm on the shitter, my friend John comes in and takes a piss in the closest urinal next to my stall. He must have noticed my stylin Pumas (it's casual Friday), and he started talkin' all sorts of smack to my mom. He was all like, "How's yo momma and my kids?" and "Boy, she sure was wild last night" and "dude, this bathroom smells like her perfume", etc. etc.

I was totally mortified, becuase what John didn't realize was the fact that in the stall next to mine, sat our Site Manager, like a big big wig.
I wiped my ass like uber fast (I'm not even sure if I didn't just smear some of it around), flushed, and ran out of the stall. Without even thinking I walked up to him, and whispered like right next to his ear in an utter panick, "Dude, @#$%% is in here! We're not alone!."

He looked petrified. He looked at me and said, "oh shit! really?" , and I was like "Yeah! OMG!". Mind you John still has his dick in his hand and we're sitting there giggling and talking about someone in the stall next to ours, when a bunch of our Bangalore Indian developers walked into the resteroom and saw us standing unnaturally close to each other giggling and whispering.

We both suppressed to urge to stop laughing, finished up and washed our hands, and he was giggling to himself so hard his face turned red and he could barely walk. As we were walking out of the bathroom his elbow was on my shoulder for support (he was laughing just that hard), and wouldn't you know it, a group of our DB2 guys were standing in the hallway near us talking and they all turned and looked at us in unison -- Two full grown men walking out of a bathroom leaning on each other giggling.





God, this has been a funny day.

.
[Edited 12/8/06 13:04pm]

Send this one in to the writers of "The Office".

The only thing even mildly exciting that's happened at my work today was when my coworker and I got told off for playing music too loudly in our little office.

evenstar3 said:

Most of my work days are boring too. Hence, me logging on to the org from time to time.


But today's been crazy...and fun.

evenstar3 said:

What kind of music were you playing?

OMG that is toooo funny. That's funnier than the jokes I posted this morning.
You and your friend will never be able to explain that one.

AsianBomb777 said:

I feel crazy today everyone around me is being so boring, though!

TMPletz said:

i was trying to get him into this band: http://www.myspace.com/wh...semovement

Go back to the bathroom and wipe your butt Mister

ThreadCula said:

1sexymf said:

Oh My god, I can't even walk past his desk without laughing. We just turn away from each other knowing we'll just bust up laughing our arses off


It's like we're in high school or something.

ThreadCula said:

~woot~

I get to post my underwear phothos tonight!

AsianBomb777 said:

AsianBomb777 said:

phothos? you mean like "pathos"?

JasmineFire said:

underwear pathos

AsianBomb777 said:

Sounds like a very fun day. I wish I had that much fun at work.

JasmineFire said:

AsianBomb777 said:

Oh Dan, TM!!!

AsianBomb777 said:

Cheeky, please no more undie shots.
They frighten me.

littlemissG said:

I checked them. They're not stained.


But I'm going to take a long bath with anti-bacterial soap right now anyways.

jerseykrs said:

Dude, we are sooooo gonna giggle together in men's bathroom's in Miami!

Mind you John still has his dick in his hand

AsianBomb777 said:

Hell to the naw!

jerseykrs said:

look, i've posted erotic slash fiction about you two on housequake, and even *I* find that image unsettling.

Anx said:

omg! where?!

jerseykrs said:

Oh yes, I think so.

My office lately has been a cross between Melrose Place, Days of our Lives, and Judge Joe Mathis.

gemini13 said:

Spend more time in the company bathroom!