Wassup people; First time poster on this board, long time lurker. Anyway, I just wanted to discuss and hear some thoughts about this subject. Anyway, a few fridays back, a friend of mine was educating me on the tips of safe sex and why not to have unprotected sex; which creeped me out. Now, a few days ago, shes telling me things like "Oh, I'm not sure I'm pregnant" and I'm like... don't you wear protection? and shes like "No" and I'm thinking in my head, "This is the same lady who was disucssing safe sex with me. Theres one thing trusting your partner, but who wants to get someone pregnant at my age (BTW I'm 22 and shes just 18) but apparently I'm starting to know people who do this a lot but usually pull out, or they haven't gotten pregnant before. Me personally, I wear a condom at all times, though I have had a the taste of bareness before

anyway, whats your thoughts and stories on this?

You're joking, right? Withdrawal is no guarantee of birth control and you should be covering it w/a jimmy-hat until you're in a long term relationship where you've both been tested. Even that's no guarantee of anything, if your partner's gettin' some bareback strange...

Oh, she's not my partner; in fact I don't have a partner
But I just don't understand the logic behind it. And I agree, you have to think about yourself first

hi lurker

pulling out's way too risky i know two girls who've gotten pregnant from it.

I DO NOT understand why people dont use protection. Condoms..birth control.

I know a guy who was struggling to take care of an unplanned kid. He had sex with his crazy baby mama again and what do ya know...she got pregnant again!
He had to get another job Its sad and sick.

pulling out is better than not...

there is no guarantee ever, even with condoms, they break...

chicks can forget to take pills...


if you're having sex it's the risk you take, period.


that said...love with no glove is A HUNDRED times better.

badujunkie said:

The only safe sex is no sex!

Take all the precautions possible. Even vasectomies fail sometimes...

Unfortunately a lot of people are still having unprotected sex and this is why STIs are so common.

JustErin said:

Sexually Transmitted Idiots?

badujunkie said:

Condoms rarely break when used properly (ie. well-lubed, with space at the tip, before they expire), and pulling out is barely better than not.

Yes, it's a risk, but I hate to see the value of condoms downplayed.

I don't doubt that it feels better. I even think it feels better without them as a female. But except in relationships with absolute trust ("monogamy" being no guarantee of that, obviously; see the current sticky thread on HIV), it's not worth it. Not to me, anyway.


properly-edit
[Edited 12/6/06 16:03pm]

CoolTarik1 said:

infections!
they got all PC on stds now

DanceWme said:

Yes indeed. There's always a risk, no matter which method you choose.

UCantHavaDaMango said:

This is true.

It's also kind of pointless. Very few people are going to choose not to have sex because of the risk, and it's not necessary. A person can make choices that will make sex quite safe. Certainly safer than driving a car, or playing most sports.

Of course, we still have to wear our seatbelts and helmets, right?

I feel like there is this silly scare factor that always comes up when safe sex is discussed, and with it can come this attitude of, "oh well, it's risky no matter what, so anything goes." This worries me.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

I agree with you but I think DanceWme was just trying to say that if a person is REALLY terrified of getting a disease or REALLY doesn't want a kid the only way to make %100 sure that you won't be dealing with those issues is not to have sex. Of course, most people are going to anyway. If you are an adult and you are having sex and your not in a long term monogamous relationship you have to protect yourself. I will add my and say the condoms SUCK. It is a million times better without it. But, it's a million times smarter to use one if it's necessary.

hokie1 said:

Right. I think my thing is that everybody knows that. You don't have to know anything to know that if you avoid having sex, you avoid the risks of having sex. So, why do people so often bring it up as though it were useful information?

It's like if you asked how you could make driving safer, and I told you, "Well, there might be some ways, but they aren't as much fun. Really, the only way is to not drive."

That's a stupid thing to say. True, but stupid. The useful thing to say is that you should wear your seatbelt, have airbags, use your turn signals, obey speed limits, blah blah blah.


I think that it's our fucked-up cultural attitudes about sex that are the real reason that abstinence comes up so frequently in this discussion, as though it were a viable strategy for very many people.

Reply to 'Love With No Glove ?'

Yeah, I am married. Birth control and Married in a very truthful relationship.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Good points! I think people say it because we've heard it so much! I think when I am talking to someone and they are being sort of casual about the whole protection issue and about the consequences of unprotected sex I need to remind them how shitty and STD would be or how HUGE of a responsibility kids are. I guess I do it too!

hokie1 said:

I'm sure I've done it too! It's SUCH a common part of The Things You're Supposed To Say About Safe Sex. We're culturally programmed.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

You'd be surprised how many people don't know even this much.

coolcat said:

Leaving actual mentally retarded people out of this, how is that possible? Isn't it pretty obvious that if you don't do something, you avoid the associated risks?

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Sorry... I quoted the wrong part... What I meant is that some people don't know that sex always carries a risk of pregnancy and disease...

ie: Some people don't know that the only 100% way to be safe is no sex. They think condoms are 100% effective etc...
[Edited 12/6/06 16:48pm]

coolcat said:

With all of the people screaming the dangers from the hilltops, I sincerely doubt that there are very many people who think that.

And even for those people, the useful message isn't "the only safe sex is no sex". The useful message is, "sex has risks, here's how to mitigate them:". And they truly can be reduced so that sex is very safe. Not perfectly safe. But very safe.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

My mother said to me: The only way to be safe is to not do it! Thank God she also said: But IF you are going to do it anyway this is how you protect yourself.

I really appreciate how hard that was for her. Of course she's looking at her 13 year old daughter (or however old I was--can't really remember) and hoping to God she doesn't ever have sex But, she was smart and realistic. She did the right thing. :

hokie1 said:

And good for her. I know it's hard for a lot of parents, especially the majority whose parents never told them ANYthing useful about sex.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

exactly!!

No Glove, No Love.

I can't wait for the release of the One Second Condom!!

Check it out: http://www.gizmodo.com/ga...212829.php



Then I will have a condom that takes as long to put it on as it does to use it.

Stax said:

Oh my gawd, I love the little movie.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

i love the sound effects in the little movie. all that clicking and smacking.

how about http://www.theyfit.com ?? too bad they aren't in stores!

we don't expect any other product to be one size fits all... why should condoms?
perhaps if men had something sized specifically for them the "hundred times better without" comments would stop