If someone commented to you that you looked "tired and miserable" would you take it as a rude comment?

I guess I should put it into context... If my mother said that, I would probably think she was just concerned about my well being. However, how about if a stranger told you that? I was coming off from work and stopped in at Subway to get a sandwich and an employee whom I have spoken to on maybe 2 or 3 occasions when stopping by before, but don't know that well, made the comment.

I was a bit stunned for a clever comeback, and to make it worse she didn't say it in a joking way.

In all fairness I had worked a 50 hour week, but wasn't that tired. Anyhow,didn't dwell on it much until last night I said something about it to my fiancae and she said she thought it was rude and insulting to me. She said when someone says that, they may as well say you look like shit..haha. So now, I am curious....

I know the orgers are unbiased and it is a serious question of if that is a rude comment or just concern for someone.

Nope.


I think it's important poeple let you know when you're "slipping".
Otherwise, one day, you could look at yourself in the mirror and not even recognize yourself.

I would not see that as rude ( if it were me it happened to )

I would go home and take a good hard honest look at myself and see if there was any truth in the starngers comment

if so then I would be thankful for it ( so that I could switch my energy round )

if not I would laugh and let it be

Would you rather people lie to you?

If you really want to hear the truth, you wouldn't take a comment like that as being rude.

JustErin said:

Of course not. If someone asked me if they were fat then they should hear the truth. I think the issue with my g/f was that I didn't solicit the comment.

i don't think it's rude...i think that while her tone didn't indicate it, she was being empathetic.

why are you so defensive?....tell me about your childhood.

Yes I would. I think it's extremely pretentious and arrogant for a stranger to make a comment like that.

purplesmoke said:

Exactly. To go up to a stranger and say, "You're fat" would definitely be considered rude, even if it's the truth. This is the same type of thing IMO.

No, it isn't rude if anything she was probably stating the obvious, if you worked fifty hours you're not going to look fresh and rested... you're going to look tired because you are and miserable because you're tired do to lack of rest, she was being honest with you but that's just me and my

purplesmoke said:

The "miserable" is crossing the line in my book. It's making a judgement about your life from a complete stranger. If it were simply you "look tired", fine.

I would've responded "I beg your pardon??" with a snooty tone in my voice and a chilly glare. (I wouldn't tell even a friend they looked miserable. It's a subjective term)

I wouldn't be offensed.

Cool, well certainly I didn't think much about it until my g/f made the big deal out of it. While I don't think the "miserable" was appropriate, she probably didn't mean it the way it came out.
I knew you guys would give honest answers..that much I did solicit. Thanks