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Thread started 11/22/06 9:39am

funkpill

12 Types Of Females

1. Ms. Gold-Digger

Advantages
a. You have someone to manage your money.
b. She always looks good.
c. She makes your other boys jealous.
d. She makes you look good.
Disadvantages
a. When you get broke she'll be gone and take what you have left.
b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your boy comes up she'll be on his arm the next day.


2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)

Advantages
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She'll try everything more than once.
c. You're never unsatisfied.
d. She'll do all the things your girl won't do.
e. She doesn't mind being your freak, as long as she catches one too.
Disadvantages
a. Eventually, because she's a female, she'll end up catching feelings.
b. She starts to act like she's your "main".
c. She messes with ya boy and act like you in the wrong for telling that she's a freak.
d. Eventually her stuff gets old. And you need a replacement.











3. Ms. Independent
Advantages
a. You don't have to worry about buying her anything. She got it.
b. She's intelligent, sassy, confident and determined.
c. She's great for (business) conversation.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.
Disadvantages
a. She will continuously let you know, that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say forget you and get a dildo.
c. She will consider you another one her play toys, or goals.


4. Ms. Dyme

Advantages
a. She's top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a "model"
e. All the girls envy her, but she doesn't care.
Disadvantages
a. She's superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She's probably dumb as hell and if she's not her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up because every kat is gonna try to get her.










5. Ms. Tomboy

Advantages
a. She's cool and laid back.
b. She'll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course, she loves sports.
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She's easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She's a diamond in the rough.
Disadvantages
a. She'll remind you too much of your boy.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football and track.


6. Ms. Ghetto

Advantages
a. She's not afraid of any other female or male. She will fight to keep you.
b. She's down for you. She'll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She's always stays fresh.
d. She can cook up a storm. She can make the best out of a bad situation.
e. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.
Disadvantages
a. She doesn't know how to act in public.
b. Your mom can't stand her.
c. You get into it with her every other second.
d. She's willing to fight another girl looking at you PERIOD!!!!.
e. Her weave colors are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal .










7. Ms. Good Girl

Advantages
a. She's always there for you.
b. She's intelligent, classy, kind, sweet and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.
g. 8/10 you will be her first sex partner
Disadvantages
a. She's an A or B situation either:
A. You're not gonna get any until ya'll are married or she will make you wait A LONG TIME or at least till he feel like you really like her and not just tryin to get some.. or....
B. She said she never done it she said she never tried she's sitting there telling a lie.

8. Ms. Main


Advantages
a. She is the one you respect.
b. She probably may know about the others but might not care.
c. She has all the qualities you want in a female.
d. You've been with her forever.
Disadvantages
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment.
b. She will devise a plan to catch you in your act and then kick your ass.


9. Ms. Psycho

Advantages
a. She's fun and spontaneous.
b. She's down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.
Disadvantages
a. Don't you break up with her. She will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate the hell out of you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Messing with her can make your life a living hell.

10. Ms. I have a Man.

Advantages
a. She may have a man but she'll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.
Disadvantages
a. She'll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. She'll get you caught up and then leave you anyway for her man.
c. If you piss her off she'll get her man to come beat your ass.
d. She'll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.


11. Ms. Tease

Advantages
a. She's tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She's intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every kat wants her cause she's so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.
Disadvantages
a. NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable)


12. MRS. RIGHT

Advantages
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme but she is BEAUTIFUL and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy.
c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother's.
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
e. She believes in God and follows his virtues.
f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%.
g. She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Spiritually, and Sexually.
h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
i. She's always there for, no matter what your dreams are.
j. She's not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
k. You can talk to her and confide in her, she's your best friend.
l. You love being around her more than your boys.
m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
n. You can have a bad argument with her and then have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever.
o. She's always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your shit. But she's also intelligent enough to leave.
p. She's nothing like any other girls you've met. She's your woman. THE RIGHT ONE
Disadvantage: You've probably met her, or had her in your life but got too consumed with 1-11 that you let her go



Ladies: Which one are you?? hmmm

Fellas': Which one you preferred?? hmmm
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Reply #1 posted 11/22/06 9:48am

FunkMistress

avatar

funkpill said:



Ladies: Which one are you?? hmmm

Fellas': Which one you preferred?? hmmm


What female is going to say she's anything but 12. Ms Right? lol
CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE, SILKY HEN.
The Normal Whores Club
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Reply #2 posted 11/22/06 9:49am

funkpill

FunkMistress said:

funkpill said:



Ladies: Which one are you?? hmmm

Fellas': Which one you preferred?? hmmm


What female is going to say she's anything but 12. Ms Right? lol




true true lol
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Reply #3 posted 11/22/06 9:51am

DanceWme

Damn uh...Im not gonna say


falloff
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Reply #4 posted 11/22/06 9:52am

luv4all7

I'm a mix between this :


4. Ms. Dyme

Advantages
a. She's top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a "model"
e. All the girls envy her, but she doesn't care.
Disadvantages
a. She's superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She's probably dumb as hell and if she's not her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up because every kat is gonna try to get her.




And This






7. Ms. Good Girl

Advantages
a. She's always there for you.
b. She's intelligent, classy, kind, sweet and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.
g. 8/10 you will be her first sex partner
Disadvantages
a. She's an A or B situation either:
A. You're not gonna get any until ya'll are married or she will make you wait A LONG TIME or at least till he feel like you really like her and not just tryin to get some.. or....
B. She said she never done it she said she never tried she's sitting there telling a lie.
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Reply #5 posted 11/22/06 9:53am

DanceWme

OK


Im Ms. Good Girl
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Reply #6 posted 11/22/06 9:54am

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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At one time or another, I've probably been all of the above.
lol
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Reply #7 posted 11/22/06 9:55am

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

avatar

CarrieMpls said:

At one time or another, I've probably been all of the above.
lol


actually, that's not true at all. confused
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Reply #8 posted 11/22/06 9:55am

luv4all7

Yo, I just reread those, and I think I mite have a touch of Ms. PSYCHO in me!!!! eek lol neutral
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Reply #9 posted 11/22/06 9:56am

DanceWme

luv4all7 said:

Yo, I just reread those, and I think I mite have a touch of Ms. PSYCHO in me!!!! eek lol neutral

eek











me too lurking
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Reply #10 posted 11/22/06 9:56am

FunkMistress

avatar

CarrieMpls said:

CarrieMpls said:

At one time or another, I've probably been all of the above.
lol


actually, that's not true at all. confused


falloff

I'm not telling which ones I see myself in!
CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE, SILKY HEN.
The Normal Whores Club
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Reply #11 posted 11/22/06 9:59am

applekisses

[CHORUS:]
I'm every woman, it's all in me
Anything you want done, baby
I'll do it naturally
I'm every woman, it's all in me
I can read your thoughts right now
Every one from A to Z

I can cast a spell
With secrets you can't tell
Mix a special brew
Put fire inside of you
But anytime you feel
Danger or fear
Instantly I will appear, 'cause

[CHORUS]

I can sense your needs
Like rain on to the seeds
I can make a rhyme
Of confusion in your mind
And when it comes down
To some good old fashioned love
That's what I've got plenty of, 'cause

[CHORUS]

I ain't braggin' 'cause I'm the one
You just ask me ooh and it shall be done
And don't bother to compare
'Cause I've got it
I've got it, I've got it, yeah

I'm every woman [repeat and fade]
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Reply #12 posted 11/22/06 10:00am

origmnd

theres only 2 types

with and w/o baggage
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Reply #13 posted 11/22/06 10:39am

JustErin

avatar

origmnd said:

theres only 2 types

with and w/o baggage


Without baggage does not exist, for both sexes.

I'm a mix of all of them, I guess.
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Reply #14 posted 11/22/06 10:41am

Bumhole

avatar

Certainly had a couple of 9s (one springs particularly to mind).

Luckily i gots me a 12 now.
There's a Bumhole in my Heart.
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Reply #15 posted 11/22/06 10:41am

origmnd

JustErin said:

origmnd said:

theres only 2 types

with and w/o baggage


Without baggage does not exist, for both sexes.

I'm a mix of all of them, I guess.


of course we all HAVE baggage, doesnt mean we have to carry it wherever we go like a fucken security blanket or truth detector
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Reply #16 posted 11/22/06 10:44am

Bumhole

avatar

origmnd said:

JustErin said:



Without baggage does not exist, for both sexes.

I'm a mix of all of them, I guess.


of course we all HAVE baggage, doesnt mean we have to carry it wherever we go like a fucken security blanket or truth detector


Incorrect.

Bums don't got baggage, unless you count a blanket that stinks of piss.
There's a Bumhole in my Heart.
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Reply #17 posted 11/22/06 10:45am

minneapolisgen
ius

avatar

I'm Ms. Ghetto. biggrin
"I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven
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Reply #18 posted 11/22/06 10:46am

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

avatar

FunkMistress said:

CarrieMpls said:



actually, that's not true at all. confused


falloff

I'm not telling which ones I see myself in!


oh, I will. lol

At one time or another I am or have been 2, 3, 8, 9 & 11. lol And almost 10.
[Edited 11/22/06 10:47am]
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Reply #19 posted 11/22/06 10:49am

cborgman

avatar

can't wait to see spats' repsonse...
Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton
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Reply #20 posted 11/22/06 11:02am

NAnomaly

Oh, what the hell, why not... I'm 3 and 12.
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Reply #21 posted 11/22/06 1:56pm

missfee

avatar

i'm 3, 7, & 12
I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince.
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Reply #22 posted 11/23/06 1:01am

funkpill

CarrieMpls said:

FunkMistress said:



falloff

I'm not telling which ones I see myself in!


oh, I will. lol

At one time or another I am or have been 2, 3, 8, 9 & 11. lol And almost 10.
[Edited 11/22/06 10:47am]




2 huh?? wink


eek 9???
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Reply #23 posted 11/23/06 4:49am

reneGade20

avatar

It took almost fucking up my shit with a #2, #5, #6, a few #9s and a combination of a #10 and #11 to realize I had a #12 all along....she's certainly not EVERYTHING listed for #12, but she definitely has more than a few of the attributes....

...I know....I suck..shrug..but I have made and continue to make amends.....
He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot)

the video for the above...evillol
http://www.youtube.com/wa...re=related
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Reply #24 posted 11/23/06 4:53am

gemini13

Give the choices, I'm

3. Ms. Independent
Advantages
a. You don't have to worry about buying her anything. She got it.
b. She's intelligent, sassy, confident and determined.
c. She's great for (business) conversation.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.
Disadvantages
a. She will continuously let you know, that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say forget you and get a dildo.
c. She will consider you another one her play toys, or goals.
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Reply #25 posted 11/23/06 7:09am

novabrkr

funkpill said:


11. Ms. Tease

Advantages
a. She's tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She's intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every kat wants her cause she's so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.
Disadvantages
a. NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable)


I think I've met her confused

This must be the type that gives out all those "oh, sorry I forgot to return your call - let's see next week, okay?" -lines.
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Reply #26 posted 11/30/06 9:38am

origmnd

this reminds me of the scene in The Exorcist. the father tries telling the excorcist the various personalities exhibited, so far, by the demon child
and he interupts and goes "theres only one".
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Reply #27 posted 12/01/06 2:03pm

AnckSuNamun

avatar

minneapolisgenius said:

I'm Ms. Ghetto. biggrin

a. She doesn't know how to act in public.


falloff
rose looking for you in the woods tonight rose Switch FC SW-2874-2863-4789 (Rum&Coke)
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Reply #28 posted 12/01/06 2:25pm

Ace

funkpill said:

Fellas': Which one you preferred?? hmmm

Independent.
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Reply #29 posted 12/01/06 2:34pm

july

I'm very familer with these women.


9. Ms. Psycho

Advantages
a. She's fun and spontaneous.
b. She's down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.
Disadvantages
a. Don't you break up with her. She will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate the hell out of you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Messing with her can make your life a living hell.

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