do you agree or disagree?

My answer: disagree

what's the fuckin' point of the relationship if its open? there is no fuckin' relationship, just fuckin'...everybody. Too much confusion going on. I bring this up b/c i was talking with a guy friend of mine and he was telling me about all the drama he had been going through with his "girlfriend" during the past year. At first the relationship was open, he fucked around and she fucked around, then he got mad at who she was fucking, and then found out she was having sex with her male friends in addition to strangers. Oh and she caught him with another girl and got mad. So now they are supposedly scraping the slate clean and are trying to have a real closed relationship...but she just cheated last week. He cheated 3 months ago. During all this talking I was

The one question I did ask was while all of this sex was going on, was there any protection being used...i mean i'm not naive to the fact that people are serial sex artists in 2006, but STD's STILL do exist.
[Edited 11/29/06 14:00pm]

I've wanted an open relationship my whole life. I think they are ideal if you can handle it.

(I don't think I could handle it)

But I've always wanted one.

It beats being with the same person all the time.

I don't agree for myself. I want someone commited to only me.
But far be it from me to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do. I think (in fact I know) it's possible for others to have certain agreements about activity outside of the two primary parties in a realtionship. But I also think its a slippery slope and often you don't get what you're looking for.
So I think it can be done 'successfully', but I think that's pretty rare, too.

Disagree.

Either have a sexual with no ties at all relationship with someone or have a monogamous one with someone you love.

I would never be able to handle combining the two.

Yeah, heres my thing. I don't mean sleeping with multiple partners.

But I can't seem to find a relationship where the person fulfills my emotional AND sexual needs.

I need one for the emotional and one for the sexual.

I think theres something wrong with me, but like, I can't have both of these in one person.

luv4all7 said:

We exist....errr, ummm I mean... They are out there....

One of the problems is, you never know when you could contract a sexually transmitted disease.
There are married couples who are swingers and I assume by "open" you mean each person in the relationship can have sex with others.
I sure would be upset if my S.O. gave me a std because he had unprotected sex. I wouldn't want to suffer because of some one else's irresponsibility.

my outlook on open relationships is this: "open" don't always equate "omgz, s/he's totally cheating on me and they're slutty so they're gonna leave me! oh noez!" i admire couples who are comfortable and trustworthy enough with each other to let their lovers sleep with other people.

my thing is this, if you want to sleep with other people...thats fine, you just won't be with me at the same time you do it. yup i know some people emotionally can handle these type of relationships, but i'm one who cannot and will not. I agree with CarrieMpls, I have to have someone who is committed to me and only me.

Are there such a thing as people who can't seem to stay with one person?

Who no matter how they try end up wandering after so long?

Whats wrong with them?

Why are they like that?

luv4all7 said:

if there wasn't such a thing as infidelity, maury povich and jerry springer would both be out of work.

I can only have open agreements if I don't really love the person.....

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I would agree with this.

luv4all7 said:

Well those are the $50,000 questions, aren't they?

For as much as I say I want someone committed to only me, I think I'm also more realistic in that I think, well, things happen. Sex isn't love.
I see both sides to this one. On one hand I think sex can be just a fun activity between two consenting adults and really isn't a big deal and on the other, well, shouldn't it be a big deal? Cause it certainly can be. You're hard pressed to find somenoe who doesn't agree that sex with someone you love is sooooo much more than that.
I think its important for people to know themselves, know what they can and can't commit to and be honest with their partners about it. If you can't commit to the same things, then you're not compatible to begin with.
Maybe that's too idealistic. I don't know.

I'll take whichever one would allow me to bust a nut the most
while at the same time, allow to her bust my balls the least.

There's too many things that aren't curable to take the risk. Herpes, HIV, hepatitis...I'm not hearing enough emphasis on protected sex by those willing to share themselves.

Its me and u...nobody else brotha

Batteries.

nope. can't do it. i know its something i can't handle.

I wouldnt say I disagree, I really don't give a shit what everyone else does. But I can't do it...yet. I have dealt with it in the past, but not all that well...

It's easy for any idiot or genius to make assumptions on the way other people live their lives under the label of 'relationship', but it's the responsibility of the players in said 'relationship' to define that term. There is no all-emcompassing strategy or mould that fits every shape and size. And your perception's always skewed and spinning and untrustable like a magnet stuck on a compass when you're in love. I never did anything wise in love, don't know anyone else who has either. But only the dead and the psychopathic are afraid to be fools. I'm not, I proud to be a fucking idiot.

Number23 said:

i believe whatever two people want to do to define their own relationship is the best possible thing they can do, as long as they're completely honest with and respectful of each other.

i also believe relationships are fluid by nature, and this is something that most couples deny. i may want my boyfriend to be my lover one day, my buddy the next day, my therapist the next day, leave me the hell alone the day after that, and so on...and that's not even going into HIS needs from me. this may not have to necessitate an open relationship, but if i'm with someone and they have a wandering eye, i personally would rather they go out, BE CAREFUL, and like millie jackson said so well, GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM and then come back home.

i'm not a very jealous person. i only get jealous when i feel like someone i love has emotions for someone else. if they just wanna screw someone else, big deal. if it becomes excessive or compulsive, then i'm more worried for them (and for my health) - but considering all things in moderation, i'm not bothered by it. it can be a good safety valve for a relationship.

NAnomaly said:

Anx said:

Anx said:

Yay, I'm glad you posted that because it's pretty much how I feel as well, and now I don't have to type all that up.

open relationships, in my opinion is just sex out of loneliness..because once the humping is done, there is no intimacy. it's like an alcoholic taking a drink, or gambler hitting a casino..they're addicted to the thrill, to the feeling, and use their addictions as comfort for stress, or escape.

and as you so appropriately say, there is the whole std issue.
it only takes one time to get hiv, or hep c.

Anx said:

I actually agree with your line of thinking I don't care for open relationships but I am realistic in my thinking that I'm not the only one that finds my love interest attractive or that he may wander, getting something out of your system and a love/emotional connection with someone are two very different things but am I for open relationships, I'd say no, I don't agree with them but I don't think having a realistic view of the ebb and flow in a relationship is the same as being for open relationships though I'm sure a friend of mine would say oh, that's just semantics.
[Edited 11/30/06 7:05am]
[Edited 11/30/06 8:23am]