ever seriously dated someone, the two of you broke up, then you got back together again? Hasn't happened for me, but if it has happened to you, how did things end up? Was it better the second time around? More importantly, did it last the second time around or did you realize that the second time was a mistake, and that the inital breakup should have stayed a break up?

your thoughts please.

NEVER WORKS!!!!!

DO NOT DO IT!

Please trust me on this one. You think your ex has lost all those irritating habits and incompatibilities? Think again. They're your ex for a reason. Leave it alone.

SnakePeel said:

i'm not in the situation personally, i just wanted to see how people felt about it. i always appreciate your responses though.

I think the only way it can work is if theres a really long time in between....a number of years I would say.

That depends why you broke up though, because the point of the time in between is for offending parties to have learned, grown and changed, and therefore not be the same person you broke up with. They cant do that in a couple of months. However if you broke up for reasons unaffected by this, then no I dont suppose it will work....

SnakePeel said:

Boobs and willies it never works!

I got back together with my ex after a while, married her, have a baby on the way and couldn't be happier.

It depends.

Bumhole said:

OK, dude...a quiz.

How long did you date previously?
How long were you split up?
Were you still friends during the split up?
What CHANGED between you to allow giving the relationship another go?

Bumhole said:

Depends on why you broke up to begin with. And a LOT of things.

SnakePeel said:

What do i win if I get the quiz right?

Bumhole said:

My cynicism will end...at least temporarily.

CarrieMpls said:

For sure. There can't really be a hard 'n' fast rule on this one, surely - each situation, each couple is different.

Here endeth the sermon.

yup. i did it once. it was with someone i was insanely in love with and had been with for almost three years. we were split up for about six months, then got back together for, oh, three weeks or so? pretty much long enough for me to realize i was more in love with the memory of our relationship than i was with keeping it going.

SnakePeel said:

okay...i don't really want to go into personal details on a website, but:

1. many years
2. less than a year
3. absolutely not!
4. honesty, and us both realising (thankfully not too late) what we meant to each other. I'm not advocating this for anyone else () but the time apart helped us to appreciate how important the other was.

the situation determines if a breakup/makeup relationship works out...my wife and I were engaged and living together when we broke up....stayed separated for about 4 months with little, if any contact....looked for all intents to be a permanent thing....but the women who I saw in the meantime were all crazy...I mean, why would you think that if I just broke up with a FIANCE, I would be chomping at the bit to get into a seriously involved relationship, complete with a move-in date? Anyway, we both ended up realizing that we were better off together and we eventually got married....that was 15 years and some change ago...hasn't been all roses and butterflies, but in retrospect it was probably the best move for me....

Granted there are those who will say I was nutz myself, but hey, no one's perfect....

not to me ... however - i have a great gal pal friend .... who did this ... and is still married to the guy ... i think he is a jerk somewhat ... but ... hey people change ....

she dated him when she was like 17-18 .... he was her "first love" ... high school sweetheart kinda thing ... i met her when she was dating a buddy of mine (when we were like 22-23) .... and .... she later went on to date some other dude .... we fell out of touch ..... THEN apparently ... she slipped her hubby a note - something like "hey -i always wished we would get back together and if there is a chance" .... etc .... apparently .... he had kinda the same feelings for her ... so it was a happy ending in some ways ... although ... she did confide in me recently - that he is kinda being a dick lately (so purrhaps my initial theory that he is a jerk/asshole was correct??? - and people do NOT change???)

SnakePeel said:

People can change, but the odds of you both evolving in a way that will now make you compatible are slim to none and Slim just left town.

Been that; done there.

I always look at the probability of change as being interwoven with the realistic expectations of both parties.....if you expect wholesale change, then you will be disappointed....but if you both can come to a compromise or some agreeable middle ground, then things should work....again, its an individual experience thing...what works best in some cases is if you look inward and adjust some behaviors that cause friction, instead of looking outward to someone else to conform their behaviors to your expectations....

Ace said:

EGGG...XACTLY!

SnakePeel said:

Okay, I take it back; SnakePeel's my BFF again! :parisandnicole:

SnakePeel said:

Seems to me someone is living with his ex-girlfriend...who is now his girlfriend again...

applekisses said:

Ah. But 95% of the time, it doesn't work. And I never said it was a decision that I didn't regret.

SnakePeel said:

That's true.

I've done it a few times and it never worked out. I went back and forth with one guy for about 10 years.

Me in my youth.

I can't say that I've officially had a second time around, two of my ex's and I broke up but I can't honestly say that we got back together it was more of spending time together thing but if asked our response was no we weren't dating just hanging out so for me so far I haven't made it past the first time yet.

I cant even imagine wanting to do this.

Thats just me tho.

It all depends on the circumstances of the split and how committed you are to one another. Sometimes distance in the form of a split can help a relationship, sometimes it can't.

I think a lot of people go through multiple relationships looking for something they will never find because they can't accept that in 90% of relationships the passion fades after a while. If you can go past 8 years together, I think you can more-or-less last the course because by then you're starting to see what a long-term relationship is really all about.

nope...cause in the back of my mind was when will the old issues come back...and they always did...move on Missfee, move on

Reincarnate said:

I sorta agree with that....but I would add to it by saying that I know some folks who have been together significantly less time who "get it".....and some folks who have been together longer who still have no clue.....I know a couple who were married for almost (if not) 70 years....but spent the last 40 living in the same home as complete strangers....not even speaking to each other....both are deceased now (one just this past week), but I can't imagine a life like that...

Sorry...I know thats off point, but the topic kinda rustled that up....

reneGade20 said:

dont you have a sand dune to reconnoiter or something?

purplerein said:

that's cute but he's not completely off topic, my parents are like that right now, they were divorcing several years back but changed their minds deciding to give it a second try and now they tolerate each other, you won't find them in the same room together unless there is company over or they have to be and they only talk to each other when they have to and the level of frustration and discuss in their voices is mind blowing.

purplerein said:

DAYUM...no need to be snarky about it.....