So, Gotta comes to me a couple of months ago and says he's going to blow our cover. And I say cool, it's your party, do what you have to do. Between you and me, he's a bit of an attention whore. The Admiral always told me as much but I kept defending him. But he said he was tired of living a lie and so I said fine and he came out and kicked my ass to the curb.

And at first, the Captain was fine. Gotta exiled me to an island filled with sexually curious myopic Swedish women with low self-esteem and even lower expectations. But there are only so many scenes of "Caligula" that you can re-enact. And meanwhile Gotta's going on about eating sandwiches from machines and wearing women's clothes and the Captain's going "I can do better than that." I mean sometimes I think the wrong identity got dropped.

Where is the hooker talk? Where is the penis admiration? I dread the day that Gotta will start talking about his own "manhood" because he'll start talking about how it's not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean or something. Gotta has got to shape or soon or else the Captain is going to pull a mutiny on his ass.

All I'm saying in a nutshell is that the Admiral has found his way on the island and we're talking about the future. And let's just say Gotta better get his act together soon. Because old Captain's don't die...they just please Gotta's wife.
[Edited 11/20/06 19:11pm]

We need more men like you in DOOM!

In case anyone is wondering, I created this computer out of coconuts, Gilligan's Island Professor style. It's got some glitches. For example, the Captain keeps getting a Blocked message when he tries to log on.

On a positive note, I've invented a cure for 23 separate sexually transmitted diseases...all using various combinations of saltwater and goat's milk.

CaptainChaos said:

The native's of the island circle around my manhood every other month is some sort of fertility ritual. The Captain finds it both amusing and ticklish.

Okay, I can see you are having trouble with the whole "suspension of disbelief" thing.

Okay, here's the thing. I was watching CR2 on my cococut powered DVD player and I noticed something about Dom Deluise's Captain Chaos character. Everyone knows it's freaking Dom Deluise. Burt can recognize it is just Dom with a cheap mask on. But Burt allows Dom to explore his fantasy self. He enables Dom to be someone entirely different than his everyday self; brave, bold, heroic. But Burt knows.

Org, you could be the Captain's enabler. You could be the Captain's freaking Burt Reynolds.

Okay, maybe the Captain is just high on palm fronds...

This is not boding well for the Captain's return.

Yay, you came back. Sorry I was gone.

I don't approve of this at all by the way...

CaptainChaos said:

how did the goat come to be on the island?

purplerein said:

It's a goat filled island. The Captain is surrounded by nubile babes and goats. And the Admiral's here too. He spends most of his time with the goats but he swears it's platonic.

Alright, this thread is going nowhere so it's time for an appreciation interlude:


Admiral: God, I love this man. Faithful friend, true companion...like a collie really. The Admiral has stuck by the Captain even through this horrible exile.

GottaLetitgo: Horribly boring. Pulls a lot of stunts because he's not really that interesting. Bald. Lasts three minutes in the bedroom, and that includes two and a half minutes to change the lightbulb on the bedside table. Has a Hootie avatar so enough said there. Not really making it on the Org which pains him to no end.

GottaLetitgo's Wife: Hot. Questionable taste in men.


That's all I can think of right now.

CaptainChaos said:

do you have boots, such that the goats legs fit inside them..and well..you get the picture

purplerein said:

The Captain is not catching your drift.

the Captain was dead, Gotta.....

I miss Andre Rigley (sp?)...

abierman said:

Actually the Captain never died...I put him on an island. Cow died not the Captain.

But regardless, I am just as much against the Captain's resurrection as you are.

GottaLetitgo said:

Well if you are all stranded on an island together, I would imagine the Cow would be the first thing to go. Welcome back!