Edit message follows...
[This message was edited Tue Sep 3 9:58:33 PDT 2002 by LittleRedCorvette]

Teacher/Jen; wow, I didnt think I was starting some BS debate about yours and Finess love.

I wasnt trying to antagonize you, but merely point out the merits of what "normal" relationships are supposed to be like... and they aren't supposed to be based off of an internet relationship. Now with that being said, it doesnt mean it cant happen for YOU. And I dont know the details of your relationship nor do I care -- all I am saying based on the information YOU OFFERED up is that, I, personally, find ANY relationship questionable where any form of cheating is okay. Period. My sister just came out of an eight year relationship because she just found out her boyfriend had been CHEATING on her the whole time. It started out with cybering and escalated to full fledged affairs. She found out everything in one afternoon. Why didnt she see the signs? Because she had blind trust, plus she's a bit naiive and young being its her first boyfriend. So yeah, I can debate upon merits that I DONT THINK ARE BS. Its you're right to disagree. But if you dont want ppl to speculate on your personal info, then dont offer it up on a public forum. Am I judging? NO. Am I questioning your ideals? YES Can I do that? YES -- I'm not singling you out, I debate with everyone, that is the nature of a message board. You debate, you see each others views and then you either reject them as infantile or you are open-minded about it and go on your merry way.

I still say good luck to you and Steve/Finess. I question everything because I can -- I questioned my sister's relationship to her face and she wouldnt listen.. now she's lost 8 years of her youth. She lived with him and never knew him -- and in the cyber world where anonymity prevails --- well you have that much more reason to trust dont you?

Tailgate: If you look around this a public forum where you can discuss/debate/etc. I said nothing of ill will towards this couple. I questioned and queried but nothing else. Why does my post grab your attention? These are probably ppl you know. I dont know you or them -- but if we are talking about internet relationships, unless you meet in real life and work it on out from there.. do you honestly think anyone on line can be boyfriend / girlfriend ONLINE only? Give me a break, you are foolish and ignorant to think that it could be sustained. Like I said before, basing this on whats offered up here for public consumption -- and it HAS worked before --- I've known ppl that have met online then in person and became a couple after that -- but before ? Online? IMO, its just not real. Okay, if you believe it - good luck to you too.

Battier: why is it that a sage 16 year old can school folks in the area of common sense? You'll go far in your life, just keep that sane head of yours!

As a final note: If you anyone feels that they are being persecuted unjustly, then maybe you should see why you feel so defensive. When you are secure in a belief/action/mantra/relationship -- IMO there is no need to defend, proclamate or counter-attack, again, these are all my opinions. Period.

Good luck everybody!

nLA said:

nLA, I am not saying there is ANYTHING WRONG with you giving some advice or caring..BUT what I am saying in respect to her (teachers) feelings this kind of discussion should be done in private...as in orgnotes or emails...LITTLE RED CORVETTE...The same with you...I just feel making this public makes one out to look like a FOOL instead of the VICTIM in which you all seem to discribe her as. Thats all...I just feel IF you honestly care, orgnote or email her with your feelings and, or concern. IMHO I myself do not get involved with internet relationships but thats just me, but there have been some couple who have met and even married, NOTHING is impossible, only SOMETHINGS You just NEVER know, EVERYBODY is different!

TailGate said:

Point taken. You are right. That's what orgnotes are for. I'm not out to cause anyone problems, just wasn't thinking when I posted my question. Thanks for the gentle reminder. Much appreciated.

LITTLE RED CORVETTE!

TailGate said:

Yes, as I said, it is POSSIBLE... but if you dont want your business speculated over, picked at, and analyzed, then dont post it/broadcast it/etc. Why would I want to send Teacher a private note? I dont know her... she doesnt know me... she posts stuff about her personal life publicly, and I dont question her choices -- those are HER choices, however, i do publicly question the RATIONALE -- , in this case its the cybersex being okay and the flirtin online being okay, when your relationship is online. That's all. No reason to get all up in arms about injecting a bit of common sense here and there. Thats all. And for every internet couple that has met and fallen in love, there are probably 100 that have caused heartache, defrauded kidnapped or killed. Not to be a pessimist but there is a real world out there and all of this exists.

and for FINESS: just to clarify homie, I am not being negative - I am a realist and I question everything -- and being a moral and ethical person, if I were seeing someone I "loved" -- cybersex is not on MY agenda, but there are couples out there where that sort of thing works for them. Hence, my "perceived" negative speculation is based on that I dont believe in it. That's all, no hidden agenda against you two. Unfortunately by Teacher posting her business, I responded and thought I turned it into an ethical debate, not a tirade against you.

It's all good on my end, and sorry if you felt offended, but it was only my opinion.

.
.
[This message was edited Tue Sep 3 10:40:54 PDT 2002 by nLA]

nLA said:

Agree with you here...The internet CAN and HAS been a very dangerous place, physically, emotionally, mentally to many people,,,especially to the young and vulnerable.

Locking this thread...

Hi all. Sorry to be a spoil-sport but I think this thread has lived as long as it needs to Well basically I'm getting far too many messages from people unhappy with this thread and I'm sick of it, so it's getting locked. On the whole there were some good points and some positive discussion, so I feel now is a good point to lock it before it drags on any further.

Also I think this thread shows us that there is a good case to be made for keeping gossip / bitching / all that "he said this, she said that" stuff to private messages

Cheers

Ian