luv4all7 said:

I'm not sure Allison is crazy about that quality in me, but in he honest moments she agrees that there are a LOT of people out there that we're compatable with.

Charles Bukowski puts it more crudely when he sleeps with this woman and the next morning she says "we fit together" and he says "all men & women fit together"

NDRU said:

I know. You are way to optimistic.

21 is pretty young for a life time commitment, anyway. Get out of the house, do things you enjoy, and have positive feel good experiences. Hang out with buddies.....Sounds like you're better off without her.
I'll give you an even worse scenario: Being married umpteen years with young children and the spouse comes home and announces he's met someone else, much younger, and wants out of the marriage. (not my experience, but it happens)
At least there's no financial or family binds. You don't have to ever see her again if you don't want to. Can make a clean break.

Spats said:

Nope, he's totally on point.

JustErin said:

For years i have met and walked past women that i would never fall in love with. He is being optimistic.

Spats said:

I work next to UC Berkeley, and every day I see about 100 different women that I think are beautiful. Even if I assume that 90% aren't compatible with me that leaves 10 per lunch hour that I could possibly love.

Now, some are unavailable and some wouldn't like me, but still that's a lot of great women out there.

xplnyrslf said:

I see what you are saying and no disrespect, but telling someone, that is really hurting and going thru something that is very real to them, that it could be worse does not help at all, in fact it often feels condescending.

The actual circumstances have nothing to do with it. It's all about how he is feeling.

Well you live in California. The women are better looking down there than in Toronto so you are gonna have better odds than me.

Spats said:

300,000 out of 3,000,000,000 is optimistic?

math edit
[Edited 11/20/06 11:25am]

Spats said:

He's being optimistic if he was talking about you. However, he was not...so again, he was on point.

JustErin said:

Then i guess he has a higher tolerance for female issues than me.

Spats said:

No, he is just a grown up.

mdiver said:

So when you grow up your standards lower and you put up with a lot more crap?

Spats said:

No, he has totally different views on women than you do.

Respect that and stfu.

Spats said:

No, but there is no point explaining that to a person that does not grasp grown up concepts. Go play in the sand pit

mdiver said:

No, you just won't admit that that is what you are saying.

Spats said:

That's funny, I felt pretty shallow pointing out the numbers of the whole thing. You don't think you could love one woman in a random group of 10,000?

NDRU said:

Hell No.

Spats said:

wow you're optimistic to even try then. I'd give up if I was you.

PurpleKnight said:

It's hard for me to be won over by a girl in a romantic way as well. Don't worry about it.

NDRU said:

I don't try. I wait for them to try.

PurpleKnight said:

You'll love again, and it will be better than this time. The pain of breaking up is horrible, but it seems like each of my relationships was better than the last--not just because of them, but because of me.

Breaking up happens for a reason, but it can end eventually. I haven't broken up in 9 years!

Hi again,

This may not help, but you need to get out and laugh a bit! Any comedy clubs in your area?


Laughing and hanging with my friends helped me!

And you may meet some new ladies if you are out enjoying yourself

I dont know why, but when you arent paying them any attention, THEN they show up!

Mutts

PurpleKnight said:

You did nothing wrong. For a 21 year old you handled it with great maturity. You WILL find someone.


M

JustErin said:

exactly, I hate when i'm going through something and people start off with the "well it could be worse..." stories like what you feel and what you are going through is actually nothing and you are crying over spilled milk. It isn't true, when you hurt, you hurt, its how you feel, you just want it to go away.

PurpleKnight, please don't feel bad by doing what you did, actually you are truly a man by just breaking up with her, rather than staying with her and just getting pay back, or staying with her until you find some other chick that you think would be a better girlfriend. I applaud your brave behavior, because most guys wouldn't have done what you did. Sounds like you really cared for this girl, and you deserve so much better than someone who is "confused" about their feelings. Keep your head up because better days are ahead for you. Keeping her in your life would have just added to the confusion and made your life a living hell...eventually.

and its true like some orgers said, she might get herself together later on, but don't you dare wait on her, you wait on no one, you do what makes you happy in the long run. if she does get her act together, and you think you might can handle being her friend, thats okay too. But i think you are so right to recognize the red flag when you saw it. always remember that people don't change overnight, and that if its too good to be true, most likely it is.

Good Luck in the future and always follow your instincts, they will never steer you wrong.
[Edited 11/20/06 14:10pm]

PurpleKnight - we've all been there. It'll get better, I promise.

PurpleKnight said:

takes half the time of the total relationship....2 months and you'll
be lookin elsewhere

PurpleKnight said:

Aw... The right one will.

it just wasn't meant to be my friend, relax, there are tons of skirts on the face of this planet.

Drink for now, but remember it will be fine.