SpisaRibb said:

Not goin anywhere? Grab a Snickers!

PurpleKnight said:

it'll come to pass.

I'm gonna guess that you are fairly young. That is in no way a knock, btw. I just remember being young and getting my heart broken and thinking that I would never be able to move on, that I would never meet anyone else, being totally confused about everything, pretty much all the things you mentioned.

But you will see that in time, none of that is really true. It will take time to get over her and the situation, but you will move on. Feel the pain you are feeling now, don't ignore it. It sucks, but it's all part of moving on.

Surround yourself with people who love you, try to not spend all your time thinking about it (as hard as that is), and my advice in regards to her would be to not try to get into any kind of friendship with her while the breakup and hurt is so fresh. It tends to just add to the confusion.

Even if she wants to try again, I would suggest that you not rush into anything, and spend a little time apart to see how you really feel (without all the cloudiness of pain around you).

But at the end of the day, only you know what's right for you.

JustErin said:

Thanks. You were right; we're both only 21 years old.

Your advice means a lot to me. Even though I'm too hurt to be rational right now, I agree with everything you said.

snakes with tits, the lot of them.

Dude, there is no woman THAT special to get upset about. She is not your first girlfriend. You'll get over her like you did your previous one. You'll see. The secret is to go out and find a better looking girl. Although finding hot looking women in Toronto isn't always that easy.

Did you have to do anything different to hook up with a Japanese girl than with a North American Girl?

Spats said:

What does THAT mean?

PurpleKnight said:

may I recommend a colonic to ease you discomforts? luv4all7 is excellent at administering them.

then you should be feeling right as rain! Fresh as a daisy!

luv4all7 said:

Just askin'. I have never been with a Japanese girl. Just wondering if he had to act differently, do things differently, stuff like that.

luv4all7 said:

Cultural differences. Japanese women may be looking for something different in a man.

coolcat said:

like a small penis?

SpisaRibb said:

Not funny.

PurpleKnight said:

thats depends on how fucked up you are.
you probably wont be able to listen to any music that you both
liked for a while either.
the ammount of great albums i cant listen to anymore is shocking

coolcat said:

no thats not funny

SpisaRibb said:

PurpleKnight said:

The first time it took a really, really long time. Years actually, but I went back with him over and over again so maybe that's why it took so long. That's why I think it's so important to try not to get into it with her until you've had a chance to be without her for a while.

My brother just went thru a break up and was devastated for a few weeks. He wanted her back so bad, felt he was never going to meet someone as wonderful. As much as he wanted to be her friend, he distanced himself from her. Eventually, he saw the relationship for what it really was and not what he wanted it to be and he no longer wanted her back. He moved on, eventually met someone else and is very happy now.

muirdo said:

you are just being empathetic right??


purpleknight... try to look at it this way

you did the mature and level headed thing by ending it
she did the mature and level headed thing by telling you what had happened
if it was going to end, it would happen sooner or later
sooner is always better than later isn't it??

now if you had told us that she had cheated and you took her back
and then she got pregnant and you had decided to get married
and after a child was born and you had spent 3 years resenting each other you broke up...

now that would be sad

i believe things like this are the way we realize
what we need in a partner and who we are as a partner
heal... learn... grow... and love again when you are ready

SpisaRibb said:

I might have misunderstood you. I'm sorry. Hope we're cool.

PurpleKnight said:

I've come to think of it (based on myself and others) as withdrawal symptoms. It's like you just unhooked your heroin drip, you have to go through the shakes and hallucinations and then you will be fine and clear.

Most people it takes a month or two to feel right, some even longer, but the whole time, you need to get out and go through the motions of socializing and hanging out with people. That keeps you from meditating on it alone and putting things insanely out of perspective.

I'm sorry she hurt you like that. You shouldn't have to compete with another guy for her affection, that's not love. You need someone who will have feelings for you and only you.

It's a terrible feeling, and you feel like there's no one else out there for you. But personally I believe there are probably hundreds of thousands of women I could love. Not just be attracted to but actually love.

So I have no doubt that you'll find someone even better, it just takes time to get over the loss. It's like kicking a drug, though, there's no easy way to do it.

NDRU said:

Dude, there are not tons of women out there that a guy could love. You are way too optimistic.

SpisaRibb said:

That's hillarious

Spats said:

NDRU is one of those rare lovie dovie people.

I think its kinda cute.

What sucks is that I have never really gotten over anyone! It stops ruling my thoughts after a while, and meeting someone else pushes it way in the background, but I always have that feeling for them, and it will come back when I don't expect it.

So you move on, but you can't expect to really get over her. That's part of the reason I was ready for a long term relationship, and why this one has worked. Breakups are damaging, unless the relationship is unhealthy.

Spats said:

There's 3 billion women in this world!

You know PK, at least she was honest with you.. You must give her credit for that.

Things will get better, tis all a learning experience.