Like the Prince song, yeah yeah yeah.. No.. lol

Ok serious now though..

You have trusted someone with you mind, spirit and soul and they let you down..

Can you trust them again?

I have done so and been proved a fool in doing so.. but I am strong and my character shows I can forgive and trust them again..

Am I strong? Am I weak?
Am I a fool? Whats best to do?

no

there's a delicate balance between taking care of yourself and cutting yourself of from accepting love/joy/peace.

and the best indicator of a person's future actions is her past actions.

that said, trust doesn't have to be given as one solid block. trust is a process that can build over time.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Your not a fool for giving them another one.

heyduckie said:

No?

I am not strong, or I am not weak?

Or I am strong for giving them another chance?
I see it as being strong giving the weaker person a second chance cos they have failed in my expectation, but I feel they have more to give and gain, if I am to help or strengthen their failures

fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.



I don't think it's impossible to build trust up again once someone has betreyed it. But its a long and difficult road and you might not ever really get there.

madartista said:

Yes.. so trust, if you know them as a good friend and say they have fucked up... but you can sympathise or understand, doesnt mean you shouldnt try and help a second time over to help them pass the trying time they are enduring?

CarrieMpls said:

I love your quote.. It makes so much sense, but when you break it down to individual circumstances, maybe one cant be so harsh.. so your second comment is something to really think about

I've been on both sides of the equation....one side more than the other....and it comes down to what u feel for the person, and how u feel about the betrayal of your trust....after some serious thought conducted after the initial shock of the situation, if your feelings outweigh the betrayal, or vice versa, the then thats the way you go with it....but either way, you should never consider yourself a fool because it unecessarily hardens you and you might miss out on that special person....whether its the one who betrayed and was allowed to stay or the one who follows....

just my humble, been there-done that, opinion.....

CarrieMpls said:

I think most things in our state of conciousness are foolish, odd and perfunctionary. Trust is a human issue, it's necessary to survive healthily in the nut. It's absolute certainty - the need for our race to create a word for it - either proves the existence of a creator or reveals the true outragous HORROR! of our existence. Either way, I'll be your fool, baby. With a smile and a foot shimmy and a middle finger stuck up to anyone with walls in their head.
[Edited 11/13/06 15:07pm]

REDFEATHERS said:

I agree that every circumstance is different. Heck, I've made my own mistakes in life and people have forgiven me. If the person is truly remorseful and commits to changing whatever the behavior was, you may have a chance.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Can you explain abit more please?>

REDFEATHERS said:

Yes, absolutely try to help. But employ what CarrieMPLS has said. Know the potential for betrayal is there, and offer a level of help that doesn't compromise yourself and your values. Don't give yourself away.

Number23 said:

You just said that to make me smile. It worked.

CarrieMpls said:

Ach, I can do better.

REDFEATHERS said:

well, if they tell you things about third parties, you can bet they will do the same to you. or even more generally, the way they treat people in their lives is a good indication. that doesn't mean i wouldn't be social with them, but i filter what i say more carefully.

REDFEATHERS said:

sorry i meant to say i dont trust anyone

all u have to worry about is their intentions. anything else will fall into place after u CLEARLY see that.

madartista said:

Why do pppl betray though?

reneGade20 said:

Just seems I have been a fool when someone I cared for didnt care for me.. but on the other hand they are the fool, for taking my friendship for granted and so have cheapened what was special to an extent and so it is their loss in the long run..

heyduckie said:

Not even me?

Trust me.. I am a good person..

REDFEATHERS said:

depends -- lotsa different reasons, but usually for their own sense of security, whether that is a valid concern or not.

Number23 said:

lol

madartista said:

So cos they are weak? weaker? cos they wont/cant stand up and say what they want/should say? and so they bow down and cower in weakness thinking things re better left unsaid than standing strong and facing the truth?

REDFEATHERS said:

im sure u are quite lovely.

luv4all7 said:

second chances shouldn't always be given freely


in some cases it is important that the person EARNS that second chance

So sad those who live in jealousy

something said:

sometimes second chances can't be given, though, without a little help from both sides of the friendship/relationship/whichever